Is it a sin to want to be popular in a non-person kind of way?

Ok, I've succumbed to the peer group pressure and created a My Space account.
Hey, blogging can only take me so far to where I want to go.

Make a fist

I had to fast last night and go to the hospital for a blood test this morning. No biggie, it's just for my annual check-up next week. However, I did make the mistake of walking past the hospital cafeteria on the way out and I haven't been able to get rid of the smell of hospital food all day ... hospital BREAKFAST food all day.

Just another chocolate pie after midnight dream

I had this weird dream last night
I had asked some girl to go to the prom with me, which in itself was a
surprise to me that I had the guts to do it, and she accepted. I guess
the prom was a pretty big deal, because in the school they had big interactive
displays and dioramas and stuff on what it was it going to be like, and your parents were invited to check out the displays, and they pointed and ooohed and ahhhhed, and everyone was really proud of how the prom was shaping up.
Then I met this other girl who I really wanted to take to the prom instead,
and seriously, the first date was just some
generic girl, a date of convenience, the second girl was the one I really wanted
to take, and isn't this starting to sound like that one episode of Eight Is Enough where Tommy Bradford had two dates for the prom.
Ok, this being a dream and all the time line isn't all that important, you know how dreams sort of ping pong around and everything.
So anyway the dream now flashes forward to the prom and I am sitting at a long table
waiting for whoever my date is going to be to show up.
Edith Bunker, huh, Edith Bunker was sitting three places down from me, and this was not the long suffering Edith Bunker, this was the Edith Bunker from the
episode of All In The Family where she was going through menopause, and Edith was really pissed off. Edith was pissed because everyone else had already been served their
dinner and she hadn't, and she is bitching and cussing and moaning and
yelling at all the waiters. Someone then offered Edith a tangerine as a
means of calming her down, but Edith took the tangerine and threw it
against the wall and yelled ...
"I don't want no damn tangerine, I want my salad".
Then I woke up.

Feel free to lay a little pop psychology dream interpretation on me, I'd be glad to hear it.

The guy who walked into the sea and ended up in Greece

After I had been stationed on Crete for a couple of months I got a new roommate. He was a three striper that had transferred in from Clark AFB in the Philippines.
I really didn't know much about his Philippines past, but I did know that he was a born again Christian who found religion on the roof of a whore house in Manila.
Yeah, he was a born again Christian and I ... wasn't, and we didn't get along so well, or so good, depending on your grammatical preference.
There was no out and out aggression on either of our parts, everything was more on the passive -aggressive side. He'd leave his Bible opened and bookmarked to certain passages, and I'd leave my Playboys out opened to the center fold.
So yeah, we didn't get along so well and after about a month he moved into another room in another dormitory
However, we did work in the same building and our paths did cross on a daily basis, and I guess the part about not having to live in the same room together sort of mellowed both of us out a little, and no we didn't become friends, but we did become friendlier.
Anyway, he started hanging around at the USO Club and he became friends with another three striper and his wife, who were also born again Christians. So it looked like a good deal for the three of them.
A couple of months later my ex roommate transferred to another building and we rarely saw each other anymore.
Then I started hearing rumors about him and the other guys wife, but you were always hearing rumors like that, and so I didn't pay much attention to it. I mean yeah, I knew there was an attraction there, but I didn't think my ex-roomie would ever act on it.
Well, he didn't, but the attraction and the feelings he felt for the other guys wife were real, so he did what he thought was the right thing to do. He downed a bottle of Excedrin and tried to drown himself by walking out into the Mediterranean Sea.
I'm not sure if he was found, or if he had second thoughts, or whatever, but his attempt was unsuccessful and he wound up in the psych ward at some military hospital in Germany.
After his stint in the psych ward they transferred him to Athens which the powers that be figured would be best for all parties concerned, and maybe it was because that was the last I ever heard about him.
But yeah, that still shows you how powerful the act of suicide really is. Even though he was unsuccessful, and even though we were never really friends, and even though we were just barely acquaintances, here it is 35 years later and I still remember it like it was last month.

Do my new glasses make my jaw look square?

My everyday glasses.



My computer glasses.

Take my new Quizilla quiz

Are you a potential serial killer?

Hey Boz, where ya been?

Ok, yesterday I had some kind of 24 hour head cold, actually it could be some kind of 48 hour head cold because I still have it, and I didn't leave the house.
I spent most of the day sleeping, watching a one dollar DVD with ten episodes of Dragnet, or screwing around on the internet.
Yes, I could have posted in here. I could have, but as you have probably noticed my posting standards for The Grand Ennui are extremely high, so I didn't, didn't post that is.
That however did not stop me from posting on two of my other blogs where my standards are much lower.
Much lower where much lower equals non-existent.
So, if you about to dial your local suicide prevention hotline because of your need for boz, STOP ...
And check out
The Real World ... Blogger Style
Jonnie and Boz's 99 Cent Blog
And
The comments on this post of The Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook.

Oh yeah, don't forget to check out what could be the next adventure on Dr Hunter Douglas ... Undercover Spam Police.

Nurse Ratched, didn't I just take my meds an hour ago?

Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas

This looks like a job for Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Under Cover Spam Police.

What do you think?
Should he take the assignment?

Not reality

I've got a head ache and the winds outside are gusting to 40 miles per hour.
Just give me the lethal injection now and I'll silently drift away.
Peep, peep, peep.

You You

I've been tagged for a MeMe by RebelLeadyBoy.

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Landscaper
2. Burger King
3. Clerk in a Record Store
4. Air Force

Four movies I can watch over and over:
I don't watch movies over and over again, but there are some movies that whenever they are on tv, and no matter what part of the movie I tune in on, I can sit and watch for ten or twenty minutes and enjoy.
1. To Kill A Mockingbird
2. A Christmas Story
3. Lone Star
4. Night of the Living Dead

Four places I’ve lived:
1. Roseville, Michigan
2. Keesler AFB, Biloxi, Mississippi
3. Iraklion Air Startion, Crete
4. Hakata Air Station, Kyushu Japan

Four TV shows I love:
There are no current tv shows that I watch regularly, but in the past I couldn't miss these shows.
1. St. Elsewhere
2. Tenko
3. Lou Grant
4. Hill Street Blues

Four highly regarded and recommended TV shows I haven’t seen (much of):
1. American Idol
2. ER
3. Scrubs
4. 24

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Tennessee
2. Florida
3. New Jersey
4. South Dakota

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza
2. Chocolate
3. Potato Wedges
4. HAM!!!!

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Real World ... Blogger Style
2. Stone/Star Strobe
3. Hijacked Frequencies
4. Two Thoughts Before the Epiphany

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Santa Cruz, California
2. Austin, Texas
3. Someplace in Europe
4. Tokyo, Japan

Four bloggers that I am tagging:
1. Francis Pottie
2. Bhagarna, the Foreign Man
3. Dr Hunter Douglas ... Male Psychiatrist
4. Dr Hunter Douglas ... Undercover Spam Police

Beverly, behind the counter

There was this girl
This girl named Beverly
That suddenly appeared in my life out of nowhere when I was ten years old
It was fourth grade
And we were in the same circle
In the same circle but we never quite touched
And she was pretty
And she had dark brown hair
And brown eyes
And the fullest softest lips that made me want to rip open my shirt and show her the tattoo on my chest that read
Beverly, won't you please be mine
But of course I never did
And as ten became eleven and then twelve
Our circles split and spiraled in different directions
And I would occasionally see her in the hall
In school
With some guy hanging on her arm
With some guy hanging on her every word
And as we passed there would be that urge to reach up to my shirt ...
Because she still had the softest fullest lips
But of course I never did
Then, on an unseasonably warm day in late March of 1969
Just a few days before I left for the Air Force
I walked into a bakery?
A deli?
A market?
And there she was, Beverly, behind the counter
She looked tired
She looked pale
She looked bored
But she still had those soft full lips that now shimmered under pink lipstick
And I stammered
And I stuttered
And I placed my order
And I reached up to my shirt ...
And I pulled out my money
And I paid for my purchase
And I picked up my bags
And our circles sort of merged again for a brief moment
And I said, nice to see you again Bev
And she said, yeah, it is
And I walked out the door
And that was that
Unless you count the odd nights when I can't sleep
And I think of her soft full lips
And Beverly, behind the counter

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
Beverly, in living black and white.
I'm also in there somewhere too.

Tuesday morning at 4 am

I see a girl standing on the corner, her hair just right, her clothes too tight, her whites too white, an angel, a whore, the girl next door, the gorilla my dreams, the who's that knocking at my door, and I stop and blink, and I try to speak, to ask for the truth, to seek out her truth, she is gone like a flash, like a bump in the night, no essence, no aura, just the sweet smell of creosote as she is sucked through some cosmic hole in the ozone, and there I am, the me of fifty years ago, the me of forty years ago, the me of thirty years ago, the me of twenty years ago, the me of ten years ago, ten months ago, ten weeks ago, ten days ago, ten hours ago, ten minutes ago, ten seconds ago, the me that is the present that is now the past, and every me that will ever be me, and there I am, just left to scratch my head, to sit and wonder, to stand and deliver, my eyes wide open and my mouth agape, and man, isn't that some crazy kind of shit.
Spell check complete.
(No Errors Found)

In honor of Presidents Day

Who would you vote for?
1. Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush
2. Zack Morris or A.C. Slater
3. Coke or Pepsi
4. Ice dancing or break dancing
5. Uncle Jesse Duke or Uncle Jesse Katsopolis
6. Todd De La Muca or Lisa Loopner
7. John Cusack or Joan Cusack
8. Jimmy Stewart or Gary Cooper
9. Radar O'Reilly or Max Klinger
10. Me or someone just like me

The powers that be

The power has been going off and on, due to high winds and ice, since seven o'clock last night.



So I went and picked up some more candles and lighters, and what is it with lighters that you can never find them when you need them.
Whatever

The post that never was

I lost power for 4 hours tonight due to an ice storm. Do you realize just how boring it can get? Well, trust me, it can get real boring.
So I ended up writing a post almost in the dark
[Click for full size image]

Give me an s, give me an e, give me a yadda yadda yadda

So anyway, I was in the store yesterday and there was a mother who kept yelling at her out of control daughter to settle down. The daughter's name was Serenity.
I wonder if the mother understood the irony of the situation?
Her brother Caleb was unavailable for comment.
Child psychologists everywhere are licking their chops in anticipation.

An observation

People who use the computers in the library are very quirky, not in an endearingly Natalie Portman as she appeared in Garden State-ish way, but more in a Tourette's
(fuck, fuck, fuck, blow me, eat shit, whore, bastard, rim job, dingle berry, dingle berry, dingle berry)
Syndrome, reeking of urine-ish way.

But ... but ... but ...

So, what did you do today Boz?

Ehhh, I took MB to pick up her new eyeglasses.

Interesting.
Nah, not really, I asked the glass fitter lady if she could clean this mark off of my glasses but when she came back she said it wasn't a mark, and she said that it looked like the coating on the lenses was starting to come off, which sounds like bullshit with a small b, but I haven't had my eyes checked since David Spade was funny, and that was never except for that one time on Saturday Night Live, but no wait, that was the other guy on SNL that was never funny, but when I say that other guy on SNL who was never funny I guess they could all just about get in line and take a number.
But anyway, I haven't had my eyes checked in a long time, so I set up an appointment for Friday afternoon, and seriously, I could use some snazzy new specs, at two pair for the price of one at all participating Pearle Vision Centers.
But yeah.

Anything else?

Well ...

Well what?

I did go up to Kmart and bought four bags of Snickers that were left over from Halloween, I guess, and they were only a dollar a bag, and ...

And???

Ok, Ok, ok, they had men's shirts that they were practically giving away ...

Boz, you've got a closet full or shirts, and you promised you wouldn't buy anymore!!!

I know, but they were practically giving them away ... GIVING THEM AWAY!!!

Sigh

GIVING THEM AWAY ... GIVING THEM AWAY ... GIVING THEM AWAY ...

Dean, Sammy, Joey, call up Mia and tell her I won't be coming home tonight, and then call up Jill St. John and tell her I'll be right over.

GIVING THEM AWAY ... GIVING THEM AWAY ... GIVING THEM AWAY ...

The End

And as always the voice of my conscience was played by Frank Sinatra.

Audio Bozzio

I've rekindled my old Audio Boz blog from over two years ago. I deleted all the old crap because they were mostly broken links anyway.
There's nothing over there yet, but one day ... one day ... one day!!!

New car blues

This new car owning stuff is harder than I thought.
There is no place to hang a litter bag and MB is all about needing a litter bag for her tissues, and her cough drop wrappers, and her empty shell casings. (MB loves her drive by shootings.)

And have you noticed that I hardly ever use parenthesis?

Oh yeah, and I am having a hard time seeing the speedometer through the steering wheel, and I am pretty anal about knowing the exact speed I am going at all times, and don't suggest that I use cruise control because cruise control is just another example of the man trying to take control of our lives.

But other than that the car is cool, and I opened the sun roof up just a crack yesterday to get some fresh air, and yeah, I know, it's like 20 degrees out, but it was just a crack, and it was only for a minute, and I doubt if that has anything to do with the sore throat I have today.


And I had to pay like twenty bucks for the smoking package which included a cigarette lighter and ashtray even though I don't smoke, but I guess that is better than my last car where I had to pay like twenty bucks for the non-smoking package which didn't include a cigarette lighter and an ashtray.

But yeah, ok, I need a cough drop, and I probably should get dressed, and you know, go out and do something.

Thursday night and the movies

I rented 4 two for a dollar for five night DVDs today.
School of Rock
Rollercoaster
The Passion of the Christ
And
Close Your Eyes
Which one do you think I will like the most?
Or ...
If you've seen any of them did you like them.
Or ...
Tell me your hopes, your dreams, your fears.
Or ...
If you were a character from either the movie of the TV series M*A*S*H which one would it be?
Or ...
Have you ever fallen backwards out of your chair while on the computer?
Or ...
Do you think I should name my BRAND NEW CAR, and if you think I should what should I name it?
Or ...
How do you get rid of a haddock headache?
Or ...
Or ...
Or ...
Or ...
The Red Wings or the Predators?

The New Blue Car

It suits me.

Come on down!

Ok, so I bought a new car yesterday.
A 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt LT Sedan, and don't you just love the name Cobalt, it sounds so virile.
Anyway, it's dark blue with light grey interior, and it has a sun roof, imagine that!
I'll be picking it up from the dealer in an hour and a half.
I wish I had a funny story to go with this, but I don't, except that the salesman looked like eccentric thirty forty something actor Crispin Glover if Cripsin Glover had a buzz cut.



Eccentric thirty forty something actor Crispin Glover sans buzz cut.

Haircut in East Tawian

So I went and got a haircut today at my fourth choice barber shop, the barbershop in East Tawian, which is my fourth choice because the barber, who we will call Jim because thats his name, dyes his hair and sometimes lets his hand linger on my shoulder just a little bit too long, if you get my drift.
I had actually planned on driving up to Oscoda to one of my top three choice barbers, but the weather was crappy and when I drove by the barber shop in East Tawian I could tell that there was no one in the chair. So I came to a screeching halt, jumped out of the car, and started across the street when I saw a big old Cadillac pull in right in front of the shop. So I hitched up my pants and put it in high gear, and luckily for me it was an old guy and I beat him to the door by a step and a half.
When we got inside he said we should flip a coin on who should go first, but I cried "BULLSHIT" I was here first, but it turned out he was joking so I retracted my cry of "BULLSHIT" and took my rightful place in the chair, and damn if Jim the Barber, who actually looks a little bit like Floyd the Barber, except he wears cowboy boots and is alive, well, Jim the Barber let his hand linger just a little too long when he put the whatever the hell they call that thing that they put on over the front so you don't get hair all over ....
Arghhhhhhhhh, I hate when I can't remember things, and it's getting more and more frequent that ummmm, yeah, that too.
So anyway, I'm getting my haircut, trim the eyebrows, and the beard while you're at it Floy ... Jim.
Yeah, I'm getting my haircut, and the old guy started talking, which is cool with me because that meant I didn't have to actually talk, which is really a drag, I mean talking isn't a drag, but making idle chatter while in the barber shop is a major drag ...
Hey, about that super bowl ...
Somebody offered me a ticket ...
You couldn't get me down to Detroit if they paid me ...
I had the best seat in the house right in front of my big screen
Yadda
Fucking yadda
Yadda ...

Anyway while the old guy was talking about the super bowl and how the goddamn blacks have ruined the city, except he didn't say blacks, he casually mentioned, as casually as you can mention when you are pretty much stone cold deaf and you scream at the top of your lungs because you think everybody else is pretty much stone cold deaf too ...
He casually mentioned that he had been a cop down in Detroit back in the day, and then he pulled the biggest gun I had ever seen out of a shoulder holster, walked up to me in the chair, stuck the gun in my ear, and said:
If you ever pull a stunt like that again I'm going to splatter your brains all over the wall .. pardner.
Or did he???

The generation gap

Here is a post I made on my Emo Blog yesterday, followed by comments.
I am dhd_me and anonymous aka FP
Rebel Leady Boy is Buddy_nob
I don't know who sky_line or Frost are, but Frost is such a hater.

Post my toast
Date: Feb 4th, 2006 10:10:26 pm - Edit
Mood: metallic


My dad said if I get any more facial piercings he's going to make me sleep in the garage.
Dad, why are you such a hater?
Comments: (6)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments:
sky_line_ - February 04th, 2006 - Delete
facial piercings are awesome. i once saw this guy on the bus and you could hardly see any of the skin on his face. was totally hot.

buddy_nob - February 04th, 2006 - Delete
you should pierce your face with his socket set if he makes you sleep in the garage

frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
If my child did that, I would rip them out of their face.

--FrosT

anonymous - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
As a concerned parent, who just happened to stumble on this blog while checking out my son's computer for pornography, I find Frost's statement ludicrous. Kids need to rebel. The way they dress, the way they talk, the music they listen to, it's just their way of stretching their wings. So what if they make a few holes in their face, they'll heal.
And how about you Frost, with your leg warmers and your MTV when they actually played music, how would you have felt if your parents had ripped out your MTV?
Frost, you just need to chill.

-FP-

frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Who the hell said I watched MTV? I hardly ever watched TV. I was too busy playing with my friends. Honestly, my kids will respect what I say. I will let them know I will not tolerate it. If they disobey that, than yes I would take disciplined action. They need to learn to respect their parents. Not to disobey them and abuse them. Once kids learn that parents cannot really do anything to them, it is all down hill from there.

--FrosT

dhd_me - February 05th, 2006 - Delete - Edit
Frost,
Are you my dad's new girl friend?
Did he put you up to this?

UPDATE

frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
I am the creator of this site. =) www.aeonity.com/frost

--FrosT

dhd_me - February 05th, 2006 - Delete - Edit
Yeah, but that still doesn't make you the boss of me.

ADDITIONAL UPDATE

frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Whoever fuckin said I was. I simply stated my point of view. Damn, where in there did I fucking tell you what to do?

As for hte creator of the site. I as responding that I was not your dad's fucking new girlfriend. Damn kids.

--FrosT

misty_rain - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
LOL

david - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
I am too a developer of Aeonity. But, who cares about that...that doesnt seem to be the issue here. Everyone needs to relax and go watch tv or something.

anonymous - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Or masterbate!

Doctor Hunter Douglas ... Male Emoist

I added a link to my Emo Blog.

Video killed the radial tire

Me testing the 6 in 1 remote control I bought for a dollar at the Dollar Tree in Alpena Michigan.



A 5 mb clip.

It's just like deja vu but different

It's funny how some songs just trigger a memory.
I was driving down US-23 this afternoon when the song Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel came on the radio, and it was like I jumped into Mr Peabody's Way Back Machine and was transported back to February 1968 when I was a senior in high school, and I had taken my dad to work in the morning, before school, so I could have the car, a 1965 white with red leather interior and snazzy hub caps, Ford Custom 500, for the day.
Anyway, I was driving south down Gratiot Avenue between Twelve Mile Road and Eleven Mile Road in Roseville heading for the Plum Pit in East Detroit, which is now called East Pointe, when the song Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel came on CKLW, which was the highest rated local Top 40 station out of Windsor, Ontario, Canada, just across the Detroit River from Detroit, and it boasted 50,000 watts of power, and it was pretty boss, as us kids with our slang liked to say, but there was a thing called Underground FM Radio just over the horizon that would practically revolutionize radio programming, and even now I weep for you mighty CKLW and the top 40 format of my youth that you epitomized ...
Ummmm, so I was headed towards the Plum Pit, which was the local head shop that boasted a purple exterior emblazoned with a slightly psychedelic purple plum.
I never bought anything from the Plum Pit mostly because I never had any money, but it was fun just to hang around trying to look hip while I soaked up the suburban pseudo hippie life style vibe.
They sold all sorts of heavy stuff like bell bottom trousers, and lava lamps, and black lights, and psychedelic posters, and love beads, (love beads ... man now that is a flashback) and all that other groovy hippie stuff that all the groovy hippies couldn't do without back in February of 1968.
Ok, yeah, I just remembered I did buy a couple of things from the Plum Pit,
I bought a button, oh man, I loved buttons, I bought a button that read ...
America: Sex, Drugs, Murder, Madness, And The Best Ice Cream In The Whole God Damn World
It must have been a pretty big button, don't you think.
And ...
I also bought a bumper sticker that read ...
Jesus Saves, But Howe Scores On The Rebound
Ok, I really didn't buy that bumper sticker mostly because I just made it up, well I made part of it up, the Howe scoring on the rebound part, yeah, that Howe, Gordie Howe, but if they would have had that bumper sticker I would have bought it in a heartbeat, even though sports weren't cool if you were trying to lead the pseudo hippie life style and on and on and on and on ...

So, yeah, isn't it funny how certain songs trigger certain memories which inspire rambling blog posts almost forty years later.

I just did a Google.
After 40 years The Plum Pit is still in business!

MSRP

I'm thinking about buying a car in the next couple of weeks. I'd really like to wait until spring, but I've got a Certificate of Deposit maturing next week and I'd have to take some money out of that to help pay for the car. Of course I could take the money out of the CD and still wait for spring, but what fun is that, and besides maybe they've got some good buyer incentive programs going now, you know it being winter and all, and yeah, it would have to be a GM product because I get the employee discount through my brother-in-law, which means he is good for something, and it would have to be of the smaller variety car, because cars aren't cheap, and my money is limited, and do they still make the Cavalier, which is what I am driving now, and yeah, I could probably hold off, but the warranty has run out and you know what happens once the warranty runs out, yeah, the car starts falling apart, well, not really falling apart, but in need of repairs, and like so far, I've had to get the front struts replaced, and are you like me in thinking there is no such thing as a strut and the service department just made that up because they saw me coming a mile away, I've also had to get a new battery, and the built in CD player doesn't work, but I can't see getting that repaired, and then there are tires, holy shit, I hadn't even thought about tire wear until I started writing this post, and insurance will go up, it will, won't it, and what else, what else, what else, the price of gas, damn-nnnnnn, so I've got to get 30 plus miles per gallon, and at least this isn't Europe, or Asia, or one of those other places where they sell gas by the liter and you still have to have gay sex with the gas station attendant to afford a fill-up, and ... GAY SEX!!!
Anyway, yeah, I think I'll start shopping around for a new car.

Blurness

Sharpness

Don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the king of rock and roll

I feel like a spinning top that is just about to fall over.
I feel like Thelma and Louise as they approach the cliff.
I feel like the last haiku ever written.
I feel like a computer just before the please turn off your monitor *pop*.
I feel like the phone call you dread.
I feel like I've been slapped senseless by a copy of Moby Dick.
I feel like the lifeless corpse of Buddy Holly lying mangled in a corn field somewhere in Iowa.
Fuck it, I'm going grocery shopping and maybe if I find an inviting enough cliff out there, who knows.

Nick ... nick ... nick ...

Sitting here, not feeling too joyous, listening to Long John Baldry sing Don't Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll.
Pronounced Boo-gee Woo-gee.
But I mean fuck, you noticed I said I wasn't feeling too joyous, and I'm not.
And like I said, I'm sitting here, pretending to cry in my pretend beer.
I mean shit, it's February already ...
Ahhh, don't mind me, I'm just wallowing.
I guess that's it.
But still ...

A day in the life

11 am - I call the pharmacy to refill a prescription for MB.
11:10 am - The pharmacy calls and says Blue Cross Blue Shield has denied the claim. I give the pharmacist some new information and she says she will run it again.
11:15 am - The pharmacy calls back and says BCBS is still denying the claim, and that prescription coverage ended on the 31st of December 2005. The pharmacist suggests that I get in touch with BCBS.
11:20 - 11:30 am - I'm on hold with BCBS.
11:30 am - I am connected with a service rep and she tells me that yes the prescription coverage ended on the 31st of December 2005. The rep gives me the Human Resource phone number for the company that the old man worked for and who is providing the BCBS coverage for MB.
11:35 am - 2:45 pm - I try repeatedly to contact the Human Resource department, repeatedly equals at least 25 times, there is no answer.
2:45 pm - I finally figure out that the number that I was given for the Human Resource department is no longer in service.
2:50 pm - I call the company that the old man used to work for, and I am connected with The United States Credit Union. I try recalling with the same result. The old man didn't work for the United States Credit Union, so yeah, I guess the company that the old man worked for has changed their telephone thingie dingie doo.
2:55 - 3:15 pm - I search through all the old man's retirement papers and finally come up with a number for the local branch of his union.
3:20 pm - I call the number and I am put through to a union rep. He listens to my plight, and says he will ask around until he finds out what the deal is. He says he'll get back to me in the morning.
3:45 pm - The union rep calls me back. He tells me that he has been in touch with his contact with BCBS and according to their records MB should be covered for the rest of her life, but it still shows up that her coverage has been cancelled, on top of that, she is the only one of the group of retirees/spouses covered under that plan who has had her coverage discontinued. The union rep then said he will continue working on it until it is straightened out and get back to me in the morning.
4:45 pm - My back hurts, my legs hurt, my arms hurt, my neck hurts, my telephone hand hurts, and my telephone ear hurts as I silently curse whoever it is who has made this day miserable for me.

Same-o, same-o

I guess I'll get ready for bed, take a couple of tylenol, and stare at the monitor until my eyeballs fall out.

It's raining and it's still January

I just realized that the first day of the week and the last day of the week both start with an S and end in a Y, and apart from that they have totally nothing in common except that most of the time they both happen on the weekend.

Friday Night Fetish

Ok, I'm in a fetish chat room using the nickname Fluffy, and I've just been IM'd by someone calling himself professor. I'm assuming it's a him, because why would a her IM someone named Fluffy?

professor> fluffy, Hi! If youre not busy, care to chat?
Fluffy> I guess so
professor> youre a fem, I guess?
Fluffy> pre-op fem

I guess the pre-op comment scared the professor off.

A few of my fetish room chat mates are
ErectInLycraSpandex
JizzEm
ManInPanties
PerfectDick
and
Grant

You know, Grant has to be the sickest of them all, he's probably trying to sell life insurance or something.

I've been in the room about ten minutes and nobody has said anything in open room.

I'm going to log off and log back in as someone else.
>> ManInDirndl has joined room #Fetish

I can't believe that in the 21st century, in a fetish chat room, that a man in a dirndl isn't flooded with IMs.

Maybe Lookng4ASlut will have me.

I speak in open room.
ManInDirndl> Has anyone seen Dr Hunter Douglas tonight?
No response.

>> submaleCD has joined room #Fetish
Wasn't he in Marvel Comics back in the 80's?

>> Melissa has joined room #Fetish
>> Melissa has left room #Fetish
>> Melissa has joined room #Fetish
>> Melissa has left room #Fetish
>> Melissa has joined room #Fetish
>> Melissa has left room #Fetish
>> Melissa has joined room #Fetish
>> Melissa has left room #Fetish
>> Melissa has joined room #Fetish

Could this be our Melissa???


>> TxK9Master has joined room #Fetish
ManInDirndl> Woof, woof, woof.

Nothing ...
Nothing .....
Nothing ..........

>> ManInDirndl has left room #Fetish

The January of my discontent

This isn't a post, it's boredom.

Winds of forty plus miles per hour whipped my mind into a frenzy of vacant thought

So, I'm sitting here, and my internet connection is down, and the wind is blowing, and I could be watching Kinsey on cable, but I'm not because they make sex seem way too wholesome, and it shouldn't be wholesome unless you're doing it in a tub of milk ...
Two per cent milk.

And I've got new sheets on my bed, and why I am telling you this?
Maybe it's because I'm stupid, wait, not stupid, I mean that word sort of like stupid, well, actually I mean that word nothing like stupid ...

And did I mention my internet connection is still down?

I mean what if I miss something?

What if someone stops by and needs me?

What if someone needs to know that Mick Taylor, not Ron Wood, replaced Brian Jones in the Rolling Stones after Jones supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool, and yeah, I said supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool, because, and don't interrupt me because I'm on a roll here, and yeah, I said supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool because I thought all rock stars that drowned always drowned in a pool of their own ... VOMIT!
Yeah, what if somebody needed to know that???

I'm sorry I can't take the pressure.
I'm going to bed ...
But if there is something you really need to know, you know, something you really really need to know, ahhhhhhhhh
My head hurts.
Good night, and please pray for a speedy return of my internet connection.

More ...

Jesus Christ on a Hot Plate.
That Felix, what a little nob.

Jesus Christ On A Hot Plate

Look who's back.

Snow job

I called the snow removal guy this morning like I said I was going to do.
He said he'd be over in twenty minutes which struck me as kind of odd.
Why not I'll be right over, or I'll be over in ten minutes, or a half hour, or an hour?
Twenty minutes is such an odd time reference.
Unless twenty minutes is some kind of snow removal guy codeword for ...
I'll be over in twenty minutes to slit your throat, drink your blood and worship at the alter of Brice Beckham!!!

I guess I'm still not fully recovered from my near fatal trip and fall that happened earlier this morning.

I should probably pay him in cash too.

If it feels like Sunday it must be Sunday

In the past ten minutes I have
1. Glopped mustard on my beard.
2. Discussed the finer points of foreign films with myself. I think I like Irish films the best, but that's just a current thing.
3. Wondered why the only Olympics I have ever really watched were the 1960 Rome Summer Olympics and the 1972 Munich Summer Olympics. I mean I've always meant to watch more, but something always came up ... came up --- hahahaha.
4. Caught my big toe in the cuff of my pajamas and almost fell flat on my face. I'm still a bit shaken up by that, so if this post doesn't make any sense that's probably the reason.

And introducing James Arness as The Thing

Alright, who kidnapped the guy who was supposed to clear the snow off my driveway today?

He called me bright and early this morning and said he would be here as soon as the plows had finished doing the streets, or no later than early this evening.
The streets have long since been plowed, and it's no longer early this evening, and the snow is still piled high in my driveway.
I'm stranded.
I'm stuck.
I'm incapacitated.
I'm marooned.
I'm up the creek without a snow shovel.

I'll call him brighter and earlier tomorrow morning and see what the deal is.
And ...
I'll pay him with a check instead of cash.
Try to cash a check in a small town on a Sunday.
Mess with me, will ya.
Punk.

19.

When she was twenty years old she used to fantasize that her father was a doctor working for the World Health Organization in some third world country.
When she was fifteen years old she was convinced that her father was the bass player in some eighties hair band.
When she was five she used to pretend that her father had been killed trying to rescue a litter of kittens from a burning building.
And now, like most things she didn't understand, she tried not to think of him at all.

She looked up after rinsing the soap off her face and her reflection in the mirror told her that no amount of scrubbing would eliminate the bags from under her eyes.

That Night

Yourself you'd touch, but not too much, you've heard it's degrading

I think I'll wind up the night right clicking on random Donovan songs.

I met you last summer when I came up to stay with my gram

Not many people know this, but Carl Wilson had the voice of an angel, and now he is an angel, ironic or not, tell me about it!

Sometimes the titles are longer than the posts themselves, and if I pad it a bit this will be one of them

I am feeling joyous tonight, it must be the music, it's always the music.

hetero to the hilt

I sang I am Woman by Helen Reddy in the shower last night, which is something I often do when using a nice jasmine scented body wash.
I love early 70's schlock music.
I could listen to Tony Orlando with, or without, Dawn all night.
And don't get me started on Gilbert O'Sullivan.
And yeah, ABBA often brings a tear to my eye.
Hey, it was the 70's. The platform shoes made me a little light headed!

These are the ties that fry men's soles.

I don't know what it is but I can't keep my eyes open, and I want to go back to bed so bad, but I've already gone back to bed three times, and it's not a depression induced fuck the world I want to go back to bed and sleep the pain away, because I'm not depressed, well, not anymore than usual. I'd go out because I need to go to the bank but there is a freezing rain advisory until one o'clock, which I now know has passed, because I just looked at the teeny tiny little clock in the toolbar and it says 1:01, and I never noticed till now that 1:01 without the : is 101 which looks an awful lot like lol, and I just hate it when life lol's at me.
I am so perplexed I could [fill in the blank].

Down on me

I'm listening to random play tonight.
A lot of the Beau Brummels, and give me a break Robert Mitchum, yeah, that Robert Mitchum, singing Thunder Road.

My arm is twitching. I hate when it does that.

And hey, can that be Bob Dylan singing From A Buick 6?

I drank some one day past expiration milk today, and it tasted like it. Not spoiled, just a one day after expiration taste. The kind of taste that you don't really taste until you burp, and then you know you'd better throw it out in another day or two, or three at the most.

I know, I'm not making much sense, but that happens when I try to multi-task, and I'm not even trying to multi-task, I'm just thinking about trying to multi-task.

And damn, my arm is still twitching.

I'll give you one Townes Van Zandt, and two Lyle Lovett's for one John Prine ... deal?

Excuse me, but now I've got gas.

Hit it Pickett!!!
I'm gonna take that girl and hold her, and do everything I told her in the midnight hour. Aaaaaaaaa-oooooooooooooooooh.

Whenever I hear the song Maggie May by Rod Stewart it makes me think of a highly romanticized version of my parent's courtship, romanticized because except for my mother's nickname being Maggie and my dad playing pool their courtship was nothing like the song.

If Nico and Grace Slick had a fist fight back in 1967 I wonder who would have won?

I had a monster crush on Grace Slick when I was a teenager, her and Buffy Sainte Marie, and Linda Ronstadt, and Peggy Lipton the chick from TV's Mod Squad, yeah Julie, that's the one, and oh yeah, I had a tremendous crush on Goldie Hawn when she was on Laugh-in, and Yoko Ono too ... ha, I made that up about Yoko Ono, seriously, honest.

I guess that's all for now.

Don't let the sun catch you crying.

Video blogging in the 21st century

Poor Townes, we hardly knew you

Why do I always listen to sad songs on Saturday night?
Or are all songs just inherently sad on Saturday night?
Why do Saturday night questions always go unanswered?
Or are the questions just rhetorical ... on Saturday night.

Erp

Yeah, we're all pretty much damaged goods.
Like the can of cream of mushroom soup in the reduced bin at the supermarket.
But if you can get beyond the dents, the bumps, the scratches, the rips, the paranoia, the rage, the ennui, the assless leather chaps, the egos, the ids, the time of the month, the time you were two dollars and forty eight cents short in the check out line at the supermarket, that one time in band camp, the political correctness, the apolitical prospectus, the sexual innuendo, the how much is that doggie in the window, the Pattie Paige, the Jimmy Page, the road not taken, the book not read, the unturned stones, and the sneezes that sound like a cat with a machine gun
There's still a lot of creamy goodness deep inside.

Does your Tylenol lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

So, oh man, I am in terrible pain.
Ok, let me rephrase that. I hurt.
Yeah, it's not such terrible pain, but I hurt, I surely, and please don't call me shirley, do hurt.
But, hey, what can I do?
Seriously, and speaking about seriously, I seriously had a very strange day. I mean, some of you know parts of it, but none of you know all of it, and for your own sake the less you know the better, but if you hear strange background noises when you're talking on the phone don't go looking to the FBI for help, because, well, let's just say ixnay on the Efay Ebay Ibay, if you get my drift.

I mean OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Magnetic Haiku

Yeah, I'm pretty profound.

I had this dream last night where Laurie Partridge and I went on a liquor store robbing rampage throughout the upper midwest ...

I came to the realization last night that we are all going to die eventually, and it really doesn't matter what you've done with your life.

It doesn't matter if you're Mahatma Gandhi or the little old lady who kept 89 cats in a two room apartment, you're going to die.

Even Mark Twain, who once said that the reports of his death were greatly exaggerated ended up dying.
That is unless you want to believe the reports that Twain is sharing a room with Elvis in Kalamazoo and working twenty hours a week as a greeter at WalMart to supplement his meager social security stipend.

Yeah, unless you want to believe that, we all end up dead.

Ahhhhhh Mark baby, if you fry me up a couple peanut butter and nanner sammiches I'll give you another Cadillac.

Based on the best selling novel

Sorry that I haven't been writing much lately, but I have been so busy with my novel Boz: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway, and yes despite whatever confusion may result it will be entitled Boz: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway.
Actually, I am not working on the book at the moment. I am working on the soundtrack for the Lifetime Original Movie based on my book Boz: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway, tentatively set to star Eve Plumb as the young Boz.

So far these songs have made the cut:
One Tin Soldier by Coven
Which Way You Going Billy by The Poppy Family
Put Your Hand in the Hand by Ocean
Please Mister Please by Olivia Newton John
I am Woman by Helen Reddy
Chevy Van by Sammy Johns, no relation to Elton John
Benny and the Jets by Elton John, no relation to Sammy Johns
And
It Never Rains in Southern California by Albert Hammond

It is in belle's contract with Lifetime that I have to give her credit for suggesting that I do the soundtrack for the movie Boz: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway based on my novel Boz: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway, and I don't know why I bother linking belle because she hasn't updated her blog since Rosie O'Donnell was straight, which is really quite appropriate if you think about it because Rosie O'Donnell will make a cameo appearance reprising her role from the smash Broadway hit Belle: Portrait of a Teenage Narcoleptic.

Sleep, I'll never be your bitch

Man, this is serious.
It's three thirty in the morning and I can't sleep.
I mean, this could lead to premature ejac ... death.
Who would finish my novel?
Who would finish my google image search for Tank Girl Nude?
Who would see that Eve Plumb is taken care of in her hour of need?
Who would make sure that all good bloggers go to heaven 1,2,3,4,5,6,7?
Who would turn off all the fucking lights in here, geez, I'm going blind already!!!
Fuck it, I just need me some good Flickr Fetish.
Good night.

The part of Eve Plumb was played by Miss Moonie Pottie.

It was a dark and stormy night

What should I call my new book?
I was thinking I might call it Boz, Portrait of a Teenage Runaway but I think that might cause some confusion, but I do think Eve Plumb would be perfect to play the young Boz in the Lifetime Original Movie.

I must have missed that day

Ok, in ninth grade Civics class there was this girl named Carol who sat in front of me. She was a nice girl, a sweet girl, even a pretty girl, and she was always trying to strike up a conversation with me, and I must admit that in the suburban sprawl of Detroit her relocated lilting southern drawl had a slightly hypnotic effect on me.

Here's the problem. I was the shyest boy in this and seventeen parallel universes and getting me to utter more than three words in succession was a task most people weren't up to.

Anyway, one day in Civics class Mr. Sykes, who was also my guidance counselor, asked very sarcastically if I planned on going to high school the next year because I hadn't as of yet filled out my schedule.

I just sort of looked down at my feet and said:
I dunno, I guess.

Out of nowhere Carol jumped up all full of the righteous indignation only a girl on the verge of becoming a woman could have, and informed Mr. Sykes that:
Ken couldn't have possibly known about the schedules because he had been absent that day.
She then sat down in a huff, looked at me and said:
Isn't that right Ken?
I sort of looked at her all bug eyed and slack jawed and after what seemed like hours I managed to half way stutter out:
I dunno, I g-g-guess.

The question that begs answering is, did I miss out on a good thing here?
Did Carol in all her smoldering femininity and repressed mid-sixties sexuality have a crush on me, and did I in all my gangly, awkward, not knowing my ass from a whole in the groundess ...
Well, was I just oblivious to it?

Mr. Humerus meet Mr. Radius and Mr. Ulna

I didn't sleep much last night.
My left arm was killing me.
I don't mean killing me as in grabbing me by the throat, digging my fingers in, and shaking, then releasing, shaking, then releasing, shaking, then releasing, over, and over, and over, and over until my lifeless body lay in a formless heap on the floor.
Not that I haven't felt like doing that more than a few times.
I mean my left arm was killing me as in it FUCKING-G-G-G-G-G hurt with a capital F, capital U, capital C, capital K, capital I, capital N, capital G-G-G-G-G.
Poor Bozzie.
Feel my pain, and anything else that looks like it might need a feel.

Huh!!!

Mother Boz's new boy toy.
I don't know where she finds them.



And I'm not going to call him Dad.

Pic courtesy of Melissa, and I'm not even going to ask what she was searching for to come up with something like this,

The Sex Ed Film

Back in ninth grade they had a boys only assembly down in the gymnasium.
They didn't tell us what the assembly was about, just that it would be boys only and horsing around wouldn't be tolerated.

So when we got down to the gym we were told by Mr. Frankenhiemer, the head of the PE department, to shut up and just go sit in the bleachers.
Man, I thought they were going to lecture us on the importance of team sports and how it helped build character and stuff like that.

As if.

Anyway, Mr. Frankenhiemer told us that we would be watching a short film which would be followed by a question and answer period.

Lights out, and keep the noise down!!!

The film opens with Bob and Phil and their dates Betty and Jane having a picnic lunch down by the lake.
Bob and Phil and Betty decide to go swimming, and Bob seems puzzled, but says nothing, when Jane quietly demurs saying that she will just sit on the blanket and watch.
After the prerequisite horseplay down at the lake Bob takes Phil aside and asks why Jane is being such a stick in the mud.
Phil replies that Jane is just having her monthly menstrual cycle and it isn't safe for her to go swimming.
Ok, so, yeah, this was 1965 so the film must have been from 1955 and back then ...
Bob furrows his brow and looks confused, and says ...
Her monthly menstrual cycle, what the heck is that?
Phil just smiles and as the scene begins to fade into a more clinical laboratory setting, he begins to lecture Bob on the wonders of the female reproductive system.

After that the film got all technical, and quite frankly it started grossing me out, so I didn't pay much attention to it, but I do remember that they used the word slough about a million times, and there was something about 28 days, and discharge, and sanitary napkins, and on, and on, and on.

After about thirty minutes the technical part ends and we are back to Phil and Bob talking at the lake.

Phil reassures Bob that there is nothing wrong with Jane, and that all girls go through this cycle every month and the best thing that Bob can do as a considerate boy friend is to treat Jane with respect and kindness while she is in this delicate condition.

The film ends with Bob smiling and waving at Jane, and Jane shyly smiling back from the blanket her legs tightly clenched together beneath her.

The lights are turned on and Mr. Frankenhiemer asks if there are any questions, and seriously, who better to ask questions about the female reproductive system than a junior high school gym teacher.

After a long silence Edwin, yeah, Edwin, not Ed, or Eddie, it's Edwin, raises his hand and asks about the menstrual discharge ...

Jesus fucking christ!!!

I just put my hands over my ears and sang the lala song to myself and prayed that this nightmare would end.
Which it did.

Thank god PMS hadn't been discovered yet.

The end.

Chuck, short for Charles

Chuck had been a high school football star in Ashtabula, Ohio.
He had been a quick, and hard hitting, but undersized middle linebacker.
Chuck's dream was to go to the University of Miami of Ohio, where he would major in physical education, and eventually become a football coach at a small to intermediate size college.
However, due to his poor grades, along with his lack of size, the only scholarship offer Chuck received was from a small liberal arts college in northern Illinois.
A disheartened Chuck weighed his choices.
He could hope that his father could get him in at the local plastics factory.
He could enlist in the Marines.
Or he could accept the scholarship.
Chuck took the scholarship.
In the years to come Chuck would often regret this choice, but as it worked out it was one of the few good decisions that Chuck ever made.

Next Rest Stop 38 Miles

So, I woke up at about five this morning and watched about ten minutes of the Moonie " I don't have a bedroom, I sleep in your brain" Pottie Story.

Speaking about brains, remember Chuck and Erma? Chuck and Erma are the couple from Dayton Ohio, who along with their teenage son Ty, are driving around in my brain looking for the Worlds Largest Ball of String.

Anyway, I think Chuck and Erma, and their teenage son Ty, will become recurring characters in this saga I call The Grand Ennui, at least until I get bored with them, or until they find the Worlds Largest Ball of String.

On this weeks episode of Chuck and Erma, and Their Teenage Son Ty, and Their Quest For the World's Largest Ball of String we find Chuck and Erma distraught over the news that their teenage son Ty plans on cashing in the college bonds given to him by his maternal grandparents to pay for a chin implant.

Listen in as Ty proclaims ...
"College is for chumps, I have musical theater in my blood, and since I inherited my chinless genes from my maternal side I find it only appropriate that mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ... and this is a very very important facet in musical theater."

A new leaf, an old tree, and six flags over texas

Sometimes I think a middle-aged couple from Ohio and their teenage son are spending their vacation driving around through my brain looking for The Worlds Biggest Ball of String.
They're from Dayton.
He's in insurance.
She's an office manager.
And their son played JV football until he discovered that his true calling was musical theater when he got the role of Kenickie in his high school production of Grease.

Boz's Homemade Broccoli Soup Right Out Of The Can On A Budget

You will need:
One can of Campbells Broccoli Soup for $1.19 a can at Carters.
One can of either Cream of Mushroom, Cream of Chicken, or Cream of Celery for fifty cents a can at the Dollar General or ...
One can of Cream of Mushroom, or Cream of Chicken for fifty cents a can from the Family Dollar.
I give you this option because the Family Dollar doesn't sell Cream of Celery, and I know a lot of you with a more esoteric palette will prefer the Cream of Celery.
And one bag of frozen broccoli for 99 cents from Save-a-Lot, where you actually do save a lot, and I guess that would be truth in advertising, which sadly we as a nation do not really have much of anymore, the truth in advertising I mean.
Yeah, you'll need milk too, but I'm assuming that you already have some of that.

So anyway, when you get home you take out the middle sized of the three pots that somebody gave you once a long time ago that you only use for making popcorn when you don't have any microwave popcorn and you can't find the popcorn maker that you put away when you discovered how much easier it was just to make microwave popcorn.

SAFETY TIP: Wipe the dust out of the pot, better yet, rinse it out, I mean the odds are astronomical against you getting any kind of disease from a dusty pot, but this is Soup on a Budget, so why take the chance of an expensive trip to the emergency room and all it entails.

Open the can of Campbells Cream of Broccoli, which by the way for your convenience has a lift off top, but at $1.19 a can it should.
Open the can of Cream of Whatever from the Dollar General or Family Dollar, yeah, you'll need a can opener for this, but with the fifty cents a can cost I think it is well worth it.
By the way, I use a hand operated can opener, not so much for the cost, but those fucking electric can openers mostly just kick my ass.

Mix the cans of soup together in the pot. You'll probably need a spatula to get all the creamy goodness out because the soup is really thick. If you don't have a spatula your finger, or the finger of a loved one will do.

Dump in two cans of milk, yeah, use the can the soup came out of, I know, I had a lot of trouble with that at first wondering where in the world I could find an empty can for the milk, use the soup can you moron!!!
When I say moron I am referring to myself, but if the shoe fits ...

Take a couple handfuls of the frozen broccoli, rip it into pieces and toss it in the pot, yeah, you could use a knife and cut it into pieces, but I find that ripping it gets rid of a lot of pent up anxiety that has built up over the years, but that could just be me.

Cook it on high heat, which on a gas stove is just below the setting with that annoying clicking sound that lets you know the burner has ignited.

Bring it to a simmer, which is just below a boil, and the way you can tell that you have brought it to a simmer is to bring it to a boil and then let it cool off to a simmer.

Get out your favorite bowl or mug, and ladle, do not pour, I repeat do not pour, trust me, I know these things from experience.
As I was saying, get out your favorite bowl or mug, and ladle said soup into said bowl or mug.

Add crackers, or bread, or croutons, or corn bread, or bread sticks, or whatever to taste, pour yourself a little something to wash it down with, I prefer Pale Dry Ginger Ale, and enjoy.

Bon Appetit!

If Angela Chase led my so-called life she wouldn't have the balls to complain about hers

I didn't turn on the tree lights today so that means that the holiday season is officially over, seriously, and officially.

I think Gerard Depardieu is stalking me. He was definitely trying to make eye contact with me in My Father The Hero.

I keep walking by the 50% off xmas candy displays at all the stores, but I haven't bought anything yet, but I don't know what is going to happen when the discount hits 75%.

Don't even ask me about New Year's Eve. Some of the worst nights in my life have been New Year's Eve.
Ok, so you asked, here's three of the worst, in chronological order.
New Year's Eve 1960 - I was spending the week at my grandparents house. My grandparents who didn't have a television, a radio, a record player, or a telephone, and what the fuck, it was 1960 and everyone had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, I mean even the pre-Beverly Hills Clampetts had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, but no, not my grandparents.
So anyway, because they didn't have a television, a radio, a record player or a telephone you naturally went to bed early. Oh, and did I mention they lived in one of the worst public housing projects in Detroit? Well, they did. So anyway, precisely at midnight on new year's eve, and remember, I am only nine years old at the time, so, precisely at midnight there was all sorts of gun fire outside my bedroom window, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, gunfire followed by drunken revelry and really loud music, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, and really loud music, and my grandfather wandering the hallways in his nightshirt yelling ...
Play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alllllllllllllll-vin. I wanna here the Chipmunk Song!!!

I'm sorry, but that memory is so traumatic that you'll have to wait to hear the rest of my ...
New Year's Eves tales of woe.
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-vin ...

The ghosts of xmas past

Ronnie's father was a television repairman when we were all kids back on Quinkert in the 50's and 60's.
There were no doctors, or lawyers, or captains of industry living in our neighborhood, so yeah, a television repairman was pretty hot stuff.
We all thought that Ronnie pretty much had it made.
Seriously, back then televisions weren't cheap and disposable like they are today and if something went wrong with your one and only tv set you naturally called in the repairman.
Yeah, Ronnie pretty much had it made, or so we thought.
Ronnie's father made a pretty good living.
Not only did he have his day job at a tv repair shop but he also had quite a little not reported for tax purposes, under the counter, moonlighting gig from fixing televisions around the neighborhood.
The trouble was that Ronnie's mother spent it faster than Ronnie's father made it.
I should probably say here that Ronnie was a real prick, he really was, and I think he probably got his prickiness genes from his mother.
On the other hand, Ronnie's father was a real nice guy.
He was a quiet and unassuming man who had been a Sgt in the Marines and had fought in the Pacific during World War Two. All our dads were World War Two vets, and they had all seen action, but Ronnie's dad was the only Sgt, and the only Marine, and the only one who had fought in the Pacific, and yeah, even our dads' thought that he was pretty impressive shit.
Anyway, what does this have to do with the ghosts of xmas past?
Like I said, Ronnie's mother spent it faster than Ronnie's dad could make it and I guess she really went all out at xmas time.
So every year, a few days after xmas Ronnie's dad would get good and drunk and pull Ronnie aside, and gave him the keys to the house, a couple hundred dollars in cash, and he'd tell Ronnie to take good care of his mother and his brother and sisters, because the stress had just gotten too much for Ronnie's father to handle and, Ronnie's father had decided that it would be best for everyone if he just left and went back to Tennessee, and he'd be sending money weekly once he got settled in, and he'd hop in his television repair van and take off.
By the time he'd gotten to Toledo he had either sobered up or come to his senses and he'd drive back home.
Ronnie told me this when we are about fourteen years old, and yeah, Ronnie grew to hate xmas, and really, could you blame him.
Ronnie was still a prick, but who wouldn't be.
How fucked up is that?

I thought he was already dead.

Ok, we all know that week between xmas and new years is a very strange week, yes indeed.
One of the many phenomenon of said week is the deluge of old celebrities who go to meet their maker.
C'mon, I have no statistics to back me up, but it seems they all wait till the after xmas sales start before they decide to kick off.
Seriously, check it out.
Frank Sinatra
Bob Hope
Jimmy Stewart
George Burns
Johnny Carson
They all died the week after xmas.
Honest, you can check it out if you don't believe me.
Who is it going to be this year?
Bob Barker?
Dick Clark?
C. Montgomery Burns?
Queen Elizabeth?
One of those old gay English Shakespearian dudes?
Who, who, who???

Ho ho ho

Merry Christmas

Hey Boz, what's been happening?

I'm in a fashion quandary.
My fat pants are a little too big, but my regular pants are still a little too tight.
I think I'll take a page out of Homer Simpson's book and just go with a Muu-Muu.



In other news ...
I cleaned out the fridge yesterday.
I threw out the five cans of tuna that had been in there well over two years.
I threw out two nearly empty jars of Icy Hot.
I threw out a half bottle of generic Pepto-Bismol.
I threw out some cheese from one of the god awful gift baskets I received last year for xmas.
I threw out five jars of orange stuff that I think might have been spiced carrot shreddings, either that or the ghost of xmas past, or maybe it was the egg plant that ate Cincinnati.
And ...
I threw out a jar of apricots that had only two half apricots left in the jar, and they looked so lonely, and one was sort of all shriveled up and it looked a little like Abraham Lincoln the night he went to the Ford Theater to see Our American Cousin.

In other news ...
I was standing in line at Customer Service at the Evil Empire to get a refund and some guy was being all abusive to the clerks because he had to wait ohhhhh I don't know five minutes, and the woman in front of me told him to lighten up that the clerks were doing the best they could, and he told the lady to ...
Get a face lift
and then he told her to ...
Get a job so she could afford a face lift
And then the store manager came in and the two of them argued back and forth for awhile
And then the store manager said ...
We don't need your business
And then the guy said to the store manager ...
Why don't you get married so you won't look so gay.
And then I said ...
Ok, I didn't say anything, but ten minutes later I thought of some really cool stuff I could have said to him.
The jerk.

When she walks just like a samba ...

Excuse me if I'm feeling a bit smug this evening.
I just found this comment on one of the photos on my buzznet account.
I mean seriously, she's from Brazil, and she's very attractive, and she's a professional photographer, and she's from ... Brazil, and I wonder if when she passes each one she passes go ahhhhhhhhhhhh, and she's from ... Brazil.

One Golden Ring

I'm listening to Harry Belafonte sing Day-o aka The Banana Boat Song.
My sister, my oldest sister, for years and years and years wanted the Harry Belafonte Live at Carnegie Hall Record album for Xmas. I don't know if she ever got it.
I do remember that the year she got a record player for Xmas she got some Elvis Presley 45s, that was the Xmas that I cracked the lid of the record player that my sister got for Xmas when I sat on it. Hey, I was only like five years old, ok, maybe six years old, and it's not like I broke open a ball point pen and got ink all over the arm rest of the new couch. I mean, I didn't do that until I was at least seven.
Anyway, I found the ring that my parents gave me for Xmas about 15 years ago.
Want to see it???



It's a star sapphire, and yeah, it's stuck on my chubby little finger.
Cool how it refracts the light though, isn't it, and I suppose that is why it is called a star sapphire.

Gift Card for MB

Gift Card for MB
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

When you care enough to give the Evil Empire.

Who needs snow tires?

Who needs snow tires?
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

Those damn kids!!!

You wouldn't believe just how cold that snow was.



I'm telling you, I was positively hypothermatic by the time I got it toweled off.
Look how white the snow made my beard and mustache look.

For all her fans

Looking like a Geriatric Gidget.

A video extravaganza

Me bringing the trash cans in after the snow.

First big snow of the season

First big snow of the season
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

Hopefully the last.

Stopping by the woods on a snowy ... afternoon

Stopping by the woods on a snowy ... afternoon
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

Tranquility amid the chaos.

Wednesday night, maybe

Crap.
There's a snow storm heading in after midnight and I have a dentist appointment at noon, and all I want to do is stay home and play Hey You Damn Kids Get Off My Lawn with MB's new walker.

Wednesday, I think

Took MB to her Doctor appointment today.
She got a script for her rapid heartbeat (dilacor) and a walker to help her ... walk.
The Doctor told her she had to use it or lose it, meaning she had to walk to build up her leg muscles or she would end up in a wheel chair.
She got so wound up in the examination room that she wouldn't stop talking.
It was yak yak yak yak, and when bozzie was five he ....
And yak yak yak, and when bozzie's nephew asked him if he was ever going to get married bozzie said ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good housekeeper ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good cook ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good nurse ...
And yak yak yak, bozzie wet the bed until he was twelve years old ....

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, shut up!!!!

I wish I had a walker.

For ten bonus points ...

Who is this man, and why is he doing the "otay" sign?

Monday afternoon

Ok, I am having a bit of an anxiety crisis at the present time. Nothing really serious, tightness in my throat and what feels like a fist pressing against the back of my stomach. This is nothing to what it used to be like years and years ago, when at times I was a total basket case, but it worries me.
If you have any stress relieving tricks, bring them on, or even words of support will do, or money, you can always send money.

MB is doing great. She has a drs appointment on Wednesday.

Saturday night

I've been on an emotional roller coaster the last two nights, but I think it's getting better.
As of now MB is doing very well, sick, but better.
If there are any complications between now and Monday I will take her to the emergency room.
If there are no complications I will take her to the doctor's on Monday.
I think she is getting fed up with me hovering over her like a mother hen, what can I say, I hover when I'm worried.

Friday night

My mother is sick tonight.
She is no longer Mother Boz, mostly because I am no longer Boz.
She is just my mother and I am just Ken, and Ken isn't handling it very well.
I don't think it is too serious, at least tonight, but what of the coming days, weeks, months, and years.
I am not the altrusitic good son that some of you think I am. I am just a son, better than some, worse than others.
I feel helpless and anxious, and I don't like it.

What style of panties are you?

My new quizilla quiz.

We don't need no stinkin' title

So, I'm supposed to be writing one of those Quizilla quizzes called Which Style of Panties Are You.
Instead I'm sitting here getting all wistful while listening to Donovan "Father of Ione Skye" Leitch, and I guess wistful is as good as any emotion at a little after midnight when the temperature is hovering around. let me check ...
Holy shit, when the temperature is hovering around zero-oh-oh-oh-oh.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Must be the season of the witch

So yeah, the Quizilla quiz.
I'm thinking ...
boy cut
thong
bikini
rhumba
and
granny
Would you believe that according to my confidential panty expert that thongs are soooooooooo 90's and boy cut is the way to go.


On the firefly platform on Sunny Goodge Street
A violent hash smoker shook a chocolate machine
Involved in an eating scene

Yeah, Donovan Leitch.
He was someone I would have loved to have seem in concert back in the 60's
Because he was sooooooooo 60's, seriously 60's.

Goo Goo Barabajagal

So anyway ...
Which style of Panties are you
1. You want a midnight snack, what do you get?
a. A piece of pie, because the piece you had for dessert was so good.
b. Some carrot sticks, or maybe a salad, no dressing.
c. A diet soda and a sandwich.
d. All of the above, and a couple slices of pizza, and make that diet soda a Jolt Cola, and some of that leftover chicken would be good too. It doesn't really matter because I'm going to finish it off with a trip to the bathroom and a finger down the throat.

It's a start, I guess.

It's Cole with an "e"

Ehhh, time to make a post I guess.
Keetsie is RIPing out at the curb in a garbage can, inside a trash bag, wrapped in paper towels, sniff ... sniff ... sniff ...
MB has taken Keetsie's place in the trilogy trinity of mockingdom. I mean, man, it's frightening how little respect I get around here, in my own house even.
It is very cold out today.
Dogs and fries for dinner.
I should really feed the other two birds, but they give me the evil eye whenever I walk by their cage, it's like they hold me responsible, when actually Gaby and Chello didn't even like Keetsie. I swear, I'm not making this up to assuage my guilty conscience.
Anyway, I guess that's all for now.

RIP

Keetsie

I went down, down, down, as the flames went up higher

Things Johnny Cash and I have in common
1. We were both intercept operators in the air force.
2. He was a country music icon, I'm an internet icon.
3. He married June Carter, I voted for Jimmy Carter.
4. We both shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
5. Joaquim Phoenix plays Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. I was pulled over on a traffic violation and had to walk a straight line in Phoenix.
6. My gmail account is boz48730, Johnny Cash had boz48731.
7. We both felt that Dolly Parton's boobs were way to big.
8. We both have trouble with number 8.
9. He was an original member of the Highwaymen. I was an original member of the RW ... BS.
10. We both prefer plastic over paper.

Monday is the next day of the rest of the week

I don't know. Things are kind of wanky lately.
Usually late at night is my time. The time when I get things done, but lately, ehhh, I've just felt bored, depressed and a little apprehensive about ... about everything I guess. It could be the season, it could be mortality creeping up, it could be that my nephew's daughter, the grand dufus's sister, my grand niece, is sixteen years old, an honor student, that has just started a part time job at Pet Smart, and when her dad picked her up from work yesterday he picked her up in the 2000 Mustang they just bought for her which she only has to pay insurance on.
Yeah, I think I'm just jealous.
Or tired.

Book, Music, and Movie Exchange

I just had another brilliant idea.
All bloggers love to read, listen to music, and watch movies, am I right?
But the costs are outrageous.
So what do you think about starting a message board where we could list books, cds or cassettes, and movies that we would like to trade for other books, cds or cassettes, and movies?
I'd list what I had for trade, you'd list what you had for trade, everybody would list what they had to trade. This could lead to the downfall of EBay!!!
Man, boz, this is a great idea!!!
Media mail costs about a buck, what have you go to lose?
Let me know what you think, and if I get any interest whatsoever I'll send a group email to all my friends, and you could send a group email to all your friends, and then we can see what develops.

Hey, at least I got a halfway interesting post out of it.

The first rule of the grand ennui is ...

Ok, so I got the first message on my new telephone/answering machine yesterday.
It was from LuAnne from the library.
The book I asked her to put a hold on is in.
It's by that Chuck guy that all you young people get a bone over.
You know, the guy who wrote Fight Club.
It's Choke, and is it just me but does the book cover look like the cover of Gray's Anatomy?
It is just me, isn't it? I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

Update- Shmupdate

MB is doing better, but she is still a little hesitant about walking on her own.
My new bed arrived today. It's only a full size but it's about 12 feet high and I need a ladder to climbing into bed. What???
Blah, blah, blah.
I had to get a new phone, well actually, I had to get a new answering machine, so I just got a combo instead. Luckily I checked one last time before I called the phone company and made a fool of myself with wild accusations about the crapacity of their maintenance department.
I have a dental check-up today, which is cool because I get to have a busty dental technician, and a busty dental technician assistant orally probe me ... bustily and orally.
My diet is working, so you can call me Slim because None just left town.
G'night.

Anyone want to trade the last two days?

So anyway, I decided to re-arrange my bedroom for the first time in five years because my new larger bed will be delivered Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.
I mean, I moved everything, and many things I moved many times, but we all know how that is.
I guess it took four or five hours with all the rest breaks in between and due to my unfortunate spinal condition I ached liked a MoFo when I had finished.
I figured a nice hot shower would take care of some of those aches and pains so I jumped right in.
By the way, generic Head and Shoulders is a really nice shampoo. It makes your hair all soft and silky, and it smells good too.
While I was in the shower I heard a loud CLUNK, but I didn't pay much attention to it because the guy who lives next door is always making loud CLUNKS.
When I finished the shower I came out of the bathroom and there was Mother Boz in the kitchen on one knee holding on to the bar. I swear, I thought she had found religion at first, but no, she had slid, slid not fallen, and she was the loud CLUNK I heard while I was in the shower.
She asked me to help her up, which of course I did after much cursing under my breath because I get so frustrated when she falls.
I asked her if she was alright and she said yeah yeah yeah, and that was that.
Now here is where it gets interesting.
At about 12:30 am while I was reading the online Detroit News we have a power outage.
Ok, now I am sitting here in the dark in a newly re-arranged bedroom and I don't know where anything is, so I start stumbling around, knocking over, and tripping over anything that is in my path.
I remembered I had put a flashlight on the night stand so I groped around till I finally found it.
I did the whole candle thing and just sort of sat there waiting till I heard MB wake-up so I could warn her about no electricity.
I hear her stirring in her room so I go and warn her. We have a semi-intelligible conversation and she trudges off to the bathroom and I go back to my bedroom.
Five minutes later I hear another loud CLUNK and I run into the bathroom and there is MB sort of laying looking like a turtle that has been turned over on it's back.
I help her up, ask her if she is alright, and after she assures me that she is we go our separate ways.
The power comes back on after about two hours and I get up to set all the digital clocks and then I go back to bed.
I finally fall asleep, you know, it's really difficult to fall asleep when your bed is in a new position ...
At about 6:15 I wake up and I hear a tap tap tapping. I don't know what the fuck it is. I thought it might be someone at the door, but at six in the morning ... WTF.
The tapping keeps tapping and as my head clears I figure out it must be MB, so yeah, I hurry down to her room and there she is laying in the floor next to her bed tapping against the dresser with a pair of scissors.
She had tried to get up out of bed, but I guess she sort of slipped.
I helped her up again, asked if she was ok.
This time she sort of wasn't ok.
Her hip was giving her problems.
Yeah, old lady, hip, you think the worse, but it wasn't the worse, but it's bad enough.
She's bruised her hip and she isn't able to get up by herself and she is afraid to walk unless I help her, which I gladly do with a smile on my face ... every ... single ... time !!!
But anyway, it looks like I get to play evil hospital orderly like in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest for the next couple of days ...
And did I tell you how much my back hurts???

Thanks for listening if you actually did.
This was very cathartic.

18.

Her mother was a loan officer at a branch of a local bank, who read self help books, and fantasized about being abducted by aliens.
Her father, who she hadn't see since her parent's divorce was rumored to be ...
Well, let's just say we'll be finding out more about her father as our story progresses.
[Link]

Changed her name and then he was a she

A rare pic of Nico from when she was a member of the Velvet Underground.



Look at the adam's apple bulging under her turtleneck.
Look at that mustache.
Look at those hips.
Look at that erection and it's futile attempt to escape the confines of her oh so tight, oh so snug fitting jeans.
Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
Nico, you're a MAN, admit it.

I bet she is reading the personals of some weird perverted sex newspaper looking for men who look like women looking for other men who look like women ... object amour.
Or maybe she is just checking out the after Thanksgiving sales at Sears.

Anyway, how was your Thanksgiving.
I heard that Nico's sucked, because she's a MAN ...
And being dead couldn't have helped much either.

I'll Be Your Mirror - The Velvet Underground & Nico