Wednesday, August 31, 2005

This is a non-political observation

On 9/9/2001, 9/10/2001, 9/11/2001, 9/12/2001, 9/13/2001, and 9/14/2001 and beyond for at least a year, the price of gas was $139.9 a gallon.
Today the price of gas was $3.19 a gallon.
I'm just saying ...

Originally posted by Sandra on RW ... BS

Original and fake

Your guess:

Ad 1

Ad 2

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.

Example #1 of why my life feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone, I mean one of the good black and white half hour episodes from the sixties, and not one of the ones that came later.

I haven't gotten any mail for the last three days. I mean no mail whatsoever, no letters, no junk mail, no bills, no wrong addresses ... nothing!

Maybe this is God's way, or Rod Serling's way, of telling me that I am dead.

Oh the humanity

I've noticed a disturbing new trend in the cable news coverage of Hurricane Katrina.
Twice I have heard and seen female reporters with breaking voices and on the verge of tears as they've reported on the destruction in the aftermath of Katrina.

Self Portrait

I think this pretty much catches the essence of boz.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Listmania

Ten things I would never buy for myself but I might buy for somebody else

1. A cheese grater.
2. A Precious Moments figurine.
3. FemHyg products.
4. Non-alcoholic beets, I mean beer.
5. A Scooby Doo hanging car air freshener.
6. A camo rain poncho.
7. Hot sauce, and that reminds me of a party celebrating the 25th anniversary of the formation of the air force, a Filipino stripper, a five dollar bill, and a bottle of ... hot sauce.
8. Coffee, any kind of coffee, I mean I've had two cups of coffee in my entire life, so why would I buy coffee for myself, but I realize that other people love coffee, so of course I would buy it for someone else, and if she were a female I'd expect at least a blow job in return, or a sincere thank you.
9. Lesbian porn, yeah, of course I'd watch it, just don't expect me to pay for it, and I wonder just how many of the women in lesbian porn are actually lesbians, and do lesbians get boob jobs?
10. Bottled water.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

The further adventures of the Grand Dufus

The Grand Dufus wrote:
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Just got home from like 2 days or so at Bay Behavioral I dunno it's all a blur. Brandon was right about them cocktails (Haldol, Benadryl, Ativan) they shoot you up with in the ass.

[Edit]: I guess I forgot to add the reason I was there. I got Baker Acted twice in 2 days.

It's getting to the point where it's no fun making fun of him anymore.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Morning wood feels so good

Ten Things About Morning Wood
1. It is hard as it will ever be.
2. It hurts so good.
3. You can't leave it alone.
4. It makes taking a piss very difficult.
5. It has a short shelf life in that it is here one minute and gone the next.
6. Seriously, I am so average, but it makes my #117 feel like at least a #217.
7. It points straight up.
8. It is so much more than a hard on. It's like when Bruce Banner becomes the Incredible Hulk.
9. You CAN put an eye out with it.
10. Ok, I took a picture, because that is what I do, and it's pg-13, but it gives you an idea, if you want an idea, of what I am talking about, so you've been warned, look if you want, don't look if you don't want, but here it is ...
Morning wood in all it's glory.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Cupcakes anyone?

I've had four so far.

Get Down!!!

Happy 40th Birthday to actor and musician Chris Burke from the television series
Life Goes On.

Happy Birthday MB

Ten Cool Things MB Did For Me While I Was Growing Up
1. She made root beer kool-aid.
2. She gave me money for comic books.
3. She took me to see a re-re-release of King Kong at the Roseville Theater.
4. She'd give me money for popcicles when Old Nick the Ice Cream Guy came by in his ice cream truck.
5. She gave me an adult library card for my eleventh birthday ... no that was Bobby Whatshisname's mother in Stephen King's novel Hearts in Atlantis.
6. She bought me a hula hoop from Kresge's.
7. She took me to work with her one time and let me play with carbon paper.
8. She always called and told the attendance office I was sick even when I was faking.
9. She bought me Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band without me even asking when I had a cold or the flu or something.
10. She thought it was kind of neat that I sort of marched to the sound of a different drummer.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

DVD Killed the Video Star

I hit the bargain bin at the video store today.
I rented all ten episodes of The Band Of Brothers, and also the Last Temptation of Christ.
Three dollars for seven days.
Of course the only VCR I have is in the garage but ...
I CLEANED OUT THE GARAGE!!!

The Band of Brothers and endorsed by Tom Hanks and Stephen Spielberg, so you know it has to be full of bad acting and special effects.

I want cake

Just go back from birthday present shopping for Mother Boz.
I was going to buy her a cake at the Evil Empire, but they had cupcakes on reduced for $2.99 so I got those instead.
I also got her a digital clock for the bathroom, she loves her some clock in the bathroom she, does.
She actually likes monetary gifts better, so I will be slipping her a little cash.
She must have done something right this year. All together she'll be raking in about 200 bucks.
I'll be taking her out for a special birthday late lunch or early dinner tomorrow.
I might take her over to West Branch, or up to Alpena, or maybe even down to Pinconning, depends on where she wants to go, since she's paying.

Did you know???
Did you know that Pinconning is the cheese capital of Michigan?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Google Talk

If you want to chat with me ...
I am boz48730 on Google Talk.



Your nakedness is encouraged by not required.

FYI

This past summer I have been visited by seven assorted grand nieces and nephews all between the ages of four and twelve, and I have come to the conclusion that every one of them were better behaved than their fathers or mothers were at the same age.

What does that tell you?

Who's on first?

So, I went into the Evil Empire today wearing my T-shirt that reads Got Miller?
And the cashier goes ...
Oh, Frank Miller!
And I go ...
No, Henry Miller.
And she goes ...
Who is he?
And I go ...
He's a writer.
And she goes ...
What has he written?
And I go ...
Tropic of Cancer, Black Spring, The Colossus of Maroussi.
And she goes ...
Never heard of him.
And I go ...
That's ok, I've never heard of Frank Miller.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I feel like pizza tonight

Company coming up today.
My nephew and his daughter, and her friend.
They'd better not mess up my garage!!!
Let me see...
Gas is $2.70 a gallon.
It's a 120 mile drive.
He probably gets about 18 miles to a gallon.
So that works out to about ???
I've always measured my likablity quotient by how much is spent on gas to come and visit me.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Stop me ... now!!!

I think I have found my calling in life.
I rule at cleaning up and re-arranging my garage.
I have turned it into an art form.
There is a place for everything and everything in it's place, and how is that for a cliche!
I have thrown out tons of stuff, and not all of it was junk, some of it was stuff that could have been used by someone, somewhere, sometime, someplace, somehow ... but I don't care, I really don't care, I am just so getting off on just throwing stuff away!!!

What the fuck am I doing???
I'm posting about cleaning my garage!
Have I no life?
Have I been reduced to this?
Not only am I enjoying cleaning my garage, I am enjoying posting about cleaning my garage.
I swear to god, I was out there yesterday taking pictures of what I had done, and I was going to post them in here, and I would have done it, but the light wasn't too good and the pictures came out dark, and if I am going to post pictures of my garage, I'm going to post high quality pictures of my garage ... dammit.

My fingers are numb, so I guess I'll just go to bed.
Oh man, I think I'll go sleep in the garage.
It's got cable, and a 27 inch Zenith, and a phone, and carpeting, and hookers on call ... well, it doesn't have hookers on call, but I could masturbate while I watch Spike TV ... same thing, almost.
Spike TV, the first channel for men, and about men, and isn't it about time.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

On the seventh day he slept all fucking day !!!

Boz, quick, do something, you can't sleep all fucking day.
Get washed up, thank god you shaved last night, and get dressed ...
Great, the phone is ringing, hold on ...
It's my sister from Florida, I pawned her off on Mother Boz ...
Where was I ???
Oh, yeah, I have to get dressed, get out, do something ... ANYTHING!!!
God, I hate when I sleep practically all day, but it's not my fault, at least not this time, I was forced to stay up till four in the morning playing Toki Toki Boom with the slightly deranged Miss Moonie Moooooooooooooooooonives.
Anyway, I think I should wash up and stuff and go buy some gas or a thermo nuclear device, or a cheese grater, yeah, a cheese grater, or something.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

On which planet?

Celebrity Poker Showdown (Repeat)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
63 BRAVO: Saturday, August 20 1:30 AM
Sports event, Card games, Poker
Jonny Fairplay, Andrew Firestone, Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, Trishelle Cannatella, and Charla Faddoul compete on behalf of their favorite charities.


Who are these people?
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth and Charla Faddoul sound like they might be Al Quaeda operatives, but the others?
Ok, I'll take a guess.
Jonny Fairplay - gay porn star, c'mon, the name reeks of gayness, NTTAWWI.
Andrew Firestone - Paris Hilton's date for the Junior Prom. Hilton, Firestone, old money, old money, old money ...
Trishelle Cannatella - African/Italian American princess, eh.

Friday, August 19, 2005

I wonder if I can list a partially used bottle of Tylenol PM on EBay

Ok, for those of you who haven't heard, next Friday is Mother Boz's 84th birthday, and since I don't plan on getting her anything this year because of the laundry scam she pulled on me, I thought it might be a nice gesture and your part to get her a little something.
Seriously, if you send it by priority mail you've got till Tuesday of next week to find her something appropriate, and if you're to busy I'm sure she would love an Amazon Dot Com gift certificate, but you'd better put that in my name ... just in case.

My tongue hurts

Ok, I think I've figured out why after about 9 hours of sleep that I'm still so groggy.
The Evil Genius That Is Moonie Pottie suggested the other night that I should take a couple of Tylenol PM before I went to bed, and me, being the gullible chump that I am, took a couple last night, and there ya go ...

While I was driving home from picking up a few grocerices today I went past the railroad tracks behind Burger King, and I saw one of the kids that work at the King sitting on the tracks smoking a cigarette, and it inspired me to write a poem.

Untitled
Sitting on the railroad tracks
Watching the world go by
I may not be the smartest kid in the world
But I don't care 'cause I'm high.

The lost weekend

This is so weird.
There was a storm last night, and we lost power, and we just got it back about a half hour ago.
The weird part is that for some odd reason it made me lose track of what day it is.
I could have sworn it was Monday, I mean I was so sure that it was Monday, that I had to do a mouse over on the little time thingy in the start up tray to convince myself that it was Friday.

This doesn't make any sense.
I'm going back to bed until it does.

I feel so groggy. I think I must have gotten too much sleep ...
But I need more, more, more!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Will somebody give me a "Hell Yeah"

I've spent the greater part of the last two days cleaning out the garage, throwing stuff away, and washing, I kid you not, a pile of clothes that reached almost to the ceiling of the garage,
Who knew that when I asked Mother Boz if she would like me to do the washing from now on that she would agree.
She always turned me down before.
Since she's become an internet celebrity she's become a real prima donna.

Ok, I kid a little, but barely.

Too tired and unwired

She looks familiar.



Doesn't she?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Delete this post

So, it's like three thirty something in the morning and here I am half asleep and wide awake, and I figured, what the fuck I tossed and turned for over an hour, this can't be any worse than that.

Here's the deal. I haven't heard from Amy in three weeks, and I don't know what to think.
Am I history?
Has something happened to her?
Is she in trouble?
Is she hurt?
What's wrong?

Ok, a little background.
She left Big Sur in kind of a hurry.
She really isn't living anywhere, sort of between family and friends.
She has no phone.
She has no address.
She has very little internet access.
At least this was the situation the last time I heard from her.

So what do I do?
I get upset with her because, you know, she could call me, or write me, but you have to know she isn't good at remembering phone numbers and addresses, I mean every time she called me in the past she had to contact me online for my phone number, and we used to call each other a lot.
But still, she could stop by a library, there must be a library somewhere, anywhere, and she could email me, or something.
And then I feel guilty for getting mad, because, well because, look at all the negative shit that she's been going through the past couple months, and here I am feeling sorry myself, only thinking of myself ... me.
But damn, then I start worrying about her, I mean, something serious could have happened, and it has been very stressful for her, and yeah, she does take life to seriously, but that's who she is.
But, she did say that she wouldn't be able to be around much, you know, because of her current up in the air situation.
And you want to hear something funny?
When all this shit started she told me not to be surprised if she were to just show up on my doorstep unannounced some day, and then in the last email I got from her she said she was trying to figure out a way to make a trip to the midwest, but it would be hard because of her finances and how expensive traveling has become ...
Ok, here's the funny part. When I am out driving I find myself looking for her old wreck of a 1995 Cambry, and when I am at home and I hear a car go buy, I kind of think, well what if ...
Seriously, I may be the biggest chump in the world, but I don't believe that she would just write me off without a word, just like that.
But if that's how it is to be, I can deal with it.
I just hope that nothing has happened to her where she can't contact me.
I don't know if I could deal with that.

It's late, I'm wringing wet, I'm rambling, and I'm not making much sense.
So fuck it, I'm going to bed.

And you know, every bit of it has been worth it, and I'd do it all over again in a heart beat.

Maybe I'll here from her today.

I'm going to bed.

Ink me

Ok, I've figured what I want for my next tattoo.
I want to get BOZ tattooed on my chest in black in some cool looking script and some shading, and maybe a few little whatevers to make it look unique, or cool, or bad ass, or bozeriffic.

Hey, if any of you have any artistic talent and, you know, want to try your hand at designing something, that would be cool with me.

Nipple slippage

For the horn dog Melissa.



I should feel cheap, but I don't.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Yo, Rocky

You know which actor really annoys me?
Adrien Brody really annoys me.
Yeah, he won an Oscar for The Pianist, the movie about Billy Joel, but big deal.
Did you see him in The Village, he played the tard.
I mean anyone can play a tard.
I bet we've all gone to the mall at least once and acted the tard just to goof on people.
*Hey, mistah, I getta ride da bus aw by meself.
And speaking about The Village ...
Did you know that the blind girl was played by Opie Taylor's daughter.



Andy and Aunt Bea must be so proud.

*My tard voice when I used to goof at the mall.

It's post your cleavage over on the rw ... bs

But it looks like I'm the only one who took part.

Observations and other crap

I dreamt last night that the Price Is Rightt had been cancelled, which was ok with me because I hadn't watched it since they got rid of the red head with the healthy personality.

I hung the bamboo lengthwise over the windows in my bedroom.

I took down the two Bettie Page Memorial Sticky Boards.

I downloaded Sticky Fingers and Exile on Main Street by the Rolling Stones.
Sticky Fingers is better.

I made two consecutive observations containing the word sticky.

Make that three.

I have to go grocery shopping today. Toilet paper and trash bags and diet Coke top the list.

I hate the sheets I am using right now. The sheets get untucked every night and I have to re-make the bed from scratch every day.

Two more stalks of my good luck plant have died, that can't be a good sign.

I took two Tylenol PM last night, but they didn't help. Oh shit, I just looked at the box it wasn't Tylenol PM it was Tylenol PMS.

What the fuck are you looking at!!!!

I dreamed I was getting discharged from the Air Force tomorrow and decided not to shave.

I'm going to have a banana flavored popcicle.

Catch you on the flip side.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Two thumbs and about eight fingers

I think they just made the movie of my life.

Twenty or so essential CDs out of my three hundred or so collection

In no particular order, because they are all essential.
1. Highway 61 Revisted - Bob Dylan
2. Freak Out - The Mothers of Invention
3. The Velvet Underground with Nico - The Velvet Underground with Nico
4. Car Wheels on a Gravel Road - Lucinda Williams
5. Captain - Kasey Chambers
6. Let It Bleed - The Rolling Stones
7. Back In The USA - The MC5
8. Hums From The Lovin' Spoonful - The Lovin' Spoonful
9. Songs From A Room - Leonard Cohen
10. Forever Changes - Love
11. Surrealistic Pillow - The Jefferson Airplane
12. Strange Days - The Doors
13. Nuggets: Original Artifacts From The First Psychedelic Era 1-4 - Various Artists
14. Basher - Nick Lowe
15. New Wave Women - Various Artists
16. Nancy Griffith The MCA Years - Nancy Griffith
17. Prime Prine - John Prine
18. West Textures - Robert Earl Keen Jr
19. Something Else By The Kinks - The Kinks
20. My Aim Is True - Elvis Costello
21. King Of Skiffle - Lonnie Donegan
22. The Modern Lovers - The Modern Lovers

There are more, but I guess that's essentially it, and besides my neck is starting to hurt from rubbernecking my CD cabinet.

Advance token to the nearest utility

I like the new background color, it reminds me of Boardwalk and Park Place from Monopoly, which by the way is my favorite game of all time, and I still have the copy I bought the day after xmas in 1963, and if you look closely at the front of the box you can still see the name Susan May written over and over and over in red ink.
Anyway ...
Susan May
Blue eyes
Blonde curly hair
Full red lips
Throaty laugh
And breasts
Oh yeah, she used to wear these starched white cotton blouses, and skirts just above the knee whith white knee socks, and she smelled just like Juicy Fruit.
What more could a thirteen year old boy want in a thirteen year old girl.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Why does Sunday hate me so?

She's got a bad case of the ennui, doesn't she.



Anyway, I went out and bought some bamboo mostly because it was on sale for ninety cents for six stalks. I think I will use it for some sort of decoration, maybe I'll staple it to the wall or something.

I just hope it doesn't trigger my false memories of staring charlie down from the wrong end of a bayonet syndrome.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Clearing my throat

I was going to write a post about not being able to sleep, but yeah, like I'm the only one who has that problem.

So, what should I write about instead?

Ummmmmmmm, yeah, sighhhhhhhhhhh.

Maybe later.

Or maybe I will just go puke or something.

I just turned on the fan, and took a piss, and got a drink of water, and now I'm sucking on a cherry cough drop.

'Night.

Id, Ego, Super Ego

Chillin' with Dylan'



Back when the energy crisis first started, back in 1973 or 74, I had just gotten out of the air force, and started college, and I remember hearing about another gas price increase on the radio while driving to class, and I thought to myself if the price of gas goes over fifty cents a gallon I'll start walking.
Just think how much money I could have saved if I had listened to my inner self.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Things are looking up

This is the quarter I found today.



Could it be my lucky quarter?

Leaving it on the back burner

I've been listening to a lot of 60's folk music tonight.
You know the people.
Phil Ochs
Richard and Mimi Farina
The hauntingly native american Buffy Sainte Marie
Judy Collins
Eric Anderson
and of course ...
Tom Paxton and the song that's sounding pretty bitter sweet tonight in a kind of hitting close to home sort of way Leaving London.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

To Boz or not to Boz

Ten nicknames I considered before settling on boz48730

1. Boz_48729
2. The_Tenth_Beatle_More_Or_Less
3. Dick_And_Jane's_Autistic_Cousin
4. The_Dexter's_Homie
5. Emo_L_Lient
6. Cole's_Law
7. That_Creepy_Stalker_Guy
8. Annabeth_Gish
9. Brian_Bonsall's_Brain
10. Boz_Cougar_Mellencamp

The fan blows on and on and on

This has sort have been a good day.



Well, I didn't die or anything, so I guess it has been a good day.
Actually, I slept most of the day.
Yeah, I pretended that I was sick, well not sick, but you know, that I was in pain, you know, the whole spinal thing, and yeah, I was in pain, and sleeping most of the day was nice, it sort of recharged my batteries, and you know, I think I could really enjoy sleeping all day, every day, but that's sort of like being dead, so maybe not ... so much.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Beam me up DuPree

Ok ...



All those things I said I was going to do today, or this week, have been put off until tomorrow, or next week, or at a somewhat later date on the space and time compendium.

Steal this post

Ok, so I know I really should be in bed, but I've got all these thoughts racing through my brain that even getting up and taking a leak didn't stop, hey, what that's sound, everybody look what's goin' down ... huh.

Amy hasn't been around.
She's out there somewhere, no phone, no access, no shoes, no shirt, no service, or am I just fooling myself.
I don't know if I should be worried, or if I should be mad, or if I should be anything
I really don't know what I feel, I guess I feel mostly numb, which is what I feel about most everything, but I do miss her, but yeah, I do miss her.

And where have all the bloggers gone, I mean shit, they are just biting the dust in droves, well at least the ones that I care about, and at one time I cared about a lot of them, but now the numbers are dwindling, dwindling, dwindling, and I think there is only one blog that I read regularly that updates daily.

That brings up another point, game, set, match ...
Ok, yeah, you should probably blog for yourself, but ...
That is so fucking boring!!!
I liked it better when I wasn't so introspective, when I lied more than I truthed, when I invited other bloggers into my little piece of the blogosphere, and we inter acted, and we had fun, or I had fun, and maybe that is what blogging should be about ...
Having fun, fun, fun, till your daddy takes the t-bird away-y-y-y-y-y, cha-cha-cha.

What the fuck do I care, but I do care, well, sort of, kind of, mostly, well, I at least care about stuff that effects me, and my head hurts, and my nose is running, and my toes are curling under, and my eyes are doing a st. vitus dance, and I'm climbing a stairway to hea-ven-n-n-n-n-n-n.

Sleep well my little ones.
Snarffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

I lost my virginity to Nancy Sinatra Jr.

About two years ago a had a feature on The Grand Ennui called Tell Me A Lie where you could tell me a lie about anything with complete anonymity.
So what the hell, I thought I'd bring it back for a test run and see if anyone wants to give it a try.
Tell Me A Lie.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Boners from heaven

Things I plan to do tomorrow or this week.
1. Go to the used book store and see if I can find a cheap copy of Lord of the Dance Flies.
2. Go to the tattoo parlor and check out designs, because I want another one.



3. Go to the Dollar General in Au Gres and get some store brand plug in air freshener refills.
4. Find out what is going on.
5. Call up St. Vinny's and see if they will send a truck out to pick up a load of stuff.
6. Invent a new dance and call it The Boz. Hey everybody, do the boz!!!
7. Call up Keith and Mick and see if they want to jam.
8. Write a post about boners.
9. See if I can get my mojo working, not to be confused with rosa posa posa's Mojo.
10. Re-ignite the rumor that I am the love child of Bettie Page and John Wayne.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Sleep

Bear with me.



So, what do you think, I got an offer through the mail where I can get a Discover Card with 5000 free reward miles, and a mile for each dollar I spend.
I mean I use a Discover Card, but it doesn't have a rewards system.
So should I???
I always pay on time, and I never pay interest.
So what do you think?
I mean 5000 miles is a lot of miles.
I could almost fly to California and back.
You California people would love me, seriously.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Dreaming about you, baby

After all these years I have finally figured out what is causing my insomnia, well, it's not actually insomnia, it's more an interrupted sleep pattern, which I guess is different.
I really don't have any problems falling asleep, as long as I remember to either lay on my side or my stomach, because I cannot sleep on my back, weird huh!
Anyway, I'm really tired, I go to bed, I fall asleep ...
I ROLL OVER ON MY BACK AND I WAKE UP!!!
Ok, here is where it gets tricky.

I am on my back, and I can't fall back asleep, and I am still so tired that I don't remember that I can't sleep on my back, and I am still so tired that I don't remember that all I need to do is rollover on my side and fall back asleep, and then I start to get frustrated because I can't fall back to sleep, and then I start to hear the siren song of the computer:
Bozzie, boot up, Bozzie, boot up, Bozzie, boot up
Or maybe the promise of the perfect movie makes the remote control appear as if by magic in my hand.
And the next thing you know it's four, or five, or six in the morning and the vicious cycle continues ...
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Auto Eroticism

There was a woman driving in front of me yesterday that really pissed me off.
It started because she was driving too slow in a no passing zone, and then I saw her Bush/Cheney 2004 bumper sticker, and that pissed me off even more, and she had a US flag flying from her car window, and you know, I can't stand people who feel they have to wear their patriotism on their sleeve, or out their window, I don't know, and then she, then she was smoking too, and that just, that just fried me, and when ever she came up to a stop sign she would start hitting her brakes at least 50 feet too soon, the bitch, the bitch, the bitch, and I knew any minute she was going to break out her goddamn cell phone and make a call, I knew this, I knew this, I knew this, and seriously, why do they let people like that on the road!

It's true, it's really true

I had a busy day today.



I think I finally got up for good at about one, and finally got dressed at about 2, and I chatted with a sorta kinda fairy tale for about an hour, then I threatened to take a nap, but I didn't, then there was an hour where I can't remember what I did, then I ate, then I went out to the dollar store, and I bought some krazy glue and something else that I can't remember, then I watered the lawn for about three hours, and while I was doing that I watched some DIY shows on BBC America, then I vacuumed my bedroom and almost hurt myself when I tried to pick up my bed, then at nine I watched a movie about high school football in Texas on Starz, which Billy Bob Buck Boy Thornton as the football coach, and I guess that is about all except for the bowl and a half of peanut butter fudge ice cream I had during the movie.
Yeah, I guess that's about it.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Movie reviews by Boz

Eloide Bouchez



Early this morning on one of the Showtimes I watched a French movie, and damn it's hard to keep up with subtitles when you are half asleep, I can't remember what the title was, but it was in French so unless you know French it's no big deal anyway, but it translated roughly into English as The Secret Pact ... I think.
The movie starred that hulking french tub of lard Gerard Depardeau (sic) as a priest,
No, a doctor,
No, a priest,
No, a doctor,
No, a priest,
No, a doctor,
No, a priest,
No, a doctor,
No, a priest,
No ... a priest who was a doctor.
The movie also starred the hauntingly skinny assed Eloide Bouchez, but I think this photo must have been photoshopped or she had an assectomy because in the movie she had a tattoo on her ass that read WIDE LOAD, ok, not really, but she should have ...
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Eloide Bouchez played identical twins, one a convicted child murderer who may or may not have murdered said child when she was 14 years old, and the other a sister in a strange catholic convent in either Brazil or France.
Anyway, Dr. Father Depardeau (sic) falls in love with one of the twins ... BUT WHICH ONE!!!
And they all live happily ever after, well, they all live happily ever after except for the twin that dies ... BUT WHICH TWIN DIES???

In keeping with this weekends theme ...

Slipped nipple Saturday



Ok, I'm not a foot fetishist or anything like that, but I do like feet, feet with curly toes, and feet with nail polish on the toes, and connected at the ankle, and maybe even pigeon toed, and fallen arches too ...
Yeah, I like feet, but I'm not a foot fetishist, seriously.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Butt Cheek Friday



So anyway, as Kat said, it is Friday and nobody reads blogs on Fridays, so it's as good as time as any to start a new weekly series, that will probably only last this week, that I'd like to call Butt Cheek Friday.

BTW, this is NOT a picture of Kat.

5:07 is just 7:05 backwards

Hi.
Good morning.
It's me.
You know me, the other boz.
Yeah, the boz that used to be the boz before he became the boz.
Yep, it's been awhile, I know, but ...
So anyway, it's good to see that you still stop by every once in awhile.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I've been busy too.
Hey, I'm not blaming you.
To tell you the truth, I haven't really been around here much either, if you know what I mean.
So, ahhh, maybe, you know, we can, ahhh, work something out ...
Yeah, yeah, I know, but I am back for good, I really mean that.
Ok?
I've missed you to, I really have.
Really???
Ok, ok, ok, I'm going back to bed now.
So, ahhh, maybe we can talk later, or you know, whatever.
'Night.

Yo ho ho



I never really liked pirates. Captain Hook used to scare the ever loving shit out of me back in the 50's when they used to show Peter Pan on television, the one with Mary Martin as Peter Pan and I think it was Cyril Ritchard as the Hookmeister.
So like you had a transgendered Peter Pan, and a gay Captain Hook. (NTTAWWI)
Is it any wonder why my generation is all fucked up.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Grand Dufus Update

Thursday, August 04, 2005
Well shit right now it looks like I'm not gonna be gettin a job at Sears, I hadn't slept all night before the interview and they tried stickin me in Shoe Department what a fucking waste of time. I got pissed cause I wanted electronics so I just left and threw the paperwork away. I'm just gonna take it easy and chill mostly round the house until I get some income, but that might be a while. If anyone works at a good job that is hiring that pays good lemme know.


I have to say that I'm with the Duf on this one.
When I was 18 I was hired to work in the stockroom at Sears, but the fascists wanted me to cut my hair.
Power to the people!!!

Guess Who???



Please join me on my madcap adventures througout the universe.

I mean sometimes you just need a little stuff in your life

Yeah, whatever.

yeah, whatever

I mean sometimes you just need a little stuff in your life

When in doubt

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Dog days

They had a heat alert today, and they were right, it was hot, and sticky, and muggy, so I tried to limit my outside activities today which was pretty easy because I rarely have any outside activities anymore.
I did do some grocery shopping though.
I stopped off at the evil empire for bread, and lunch meat, oh yeah, and some evil empire brand depends for MB, ohhhh, and another oh yeah, I bought some Kaiser rolls because it was so hot I decided I would just have sandos for dinner tonight, so I bought the Kaiser rolls and made two roast beef on a Kaiser roll, with hot honey mustard, and yeah, they were really good, and I threw a few chips on my plate, and a big glass of diet Pepsi.
Also while out shopping I stopped at Rite Aid and bought four 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke on sale for $3.36.
Then I stopped at Carter's and bought some bread and butter sweet pickle chips, and some fabric softener, and some Cranberry with Apple Juice, and ... the hot honey mustard that I used on my roast beef on a Kaiser sandos.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

It's too hot to trot

Have you ever started to read a novel that you enjoyed so much that you started feeling sad half way through because you knew it was going to end in just a few hundred pages, and the story that had become such a part of your life would be over, and the characters at once so real would soon cease to exist, but you wanted them to continue being real, and you wanted to be part of their world, to share their experiences, and be like them, and act like them, and you wanted the novel, and their life, to go on forever?

Lately

It's Monday, and it's August.
And I'm listening to the saddest love found/love lost song that I've ever heard.
And I'm feeling a little torn tonight.
And there is a part of me that just wants to pull the covers all the way up.
And there is a part of me that just wants to go.
And there is a part of me that just nods my head.
And I search for another sad song.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Blue eyes and the last of the line

I woke up at six the morning and went to take a piss.
While I was washing my hands I looked up in the mirror and my eyes were the deepest blue that I had ever noticed them being.
I mean spookily, eerily blue.
Bluer than my father's deep blue eyes.
Bluer than my Uncle Ernest's or Uncle Lawrence's deep blue eyes.
Bluer than my Aunt Pauline's, my Aunt Jean's, my Aunt Bea's, my Aunt Ruby's, my Aunt Estine's, and yes, even bluer than my Aunt Blue's deep blue eyes.

I just went back and checked in the mirror, and yes, they're still just as blue.

Like father like son, I guess

I remember a Friday night back in the summer of 1961.
My dad worked the afternoon shift and wasn't do home till late. Late meaning overtime and a few beers and some pool at the Club 7-11, and I shit you not, it was called the Club 7-11.
My mother made lemonade from frozen concentrate and she sat on the couch and I laid on a blanket on the floor and we watched Shock Theater on Channel 7.
It was The Mummy, and it wasn't scary, but it was kind of creepy, and I drank three glasses of lemonade, which was one glass too many, but damn the lemonade was cold and good, and it hit the spot, but yeah, I got a belly ache, but still, it was nice watching the late late show with my mom, and the windows were open, and there was a nice breeze, and we heard my dad come in, and yeah, he had a few beers too many, but he was home safe, and maybe he won a few bucks shooting pool, and he went straight to bed, and I hoped he wouldn't get a hangover because maybe we could do something on Saturday, and the movie ended, and another movie came on, but it wasn't a horror movie, it was some kind of romance movie, so I staggered off to bed, dragging my blanket behind me, and hoping that my belly ache would go away.