Thursday, December 29, 2005

If Angela Chase led my so-called life she wouldn't have the balls to complain about hers

I didn't turn on the tree lights today so that means that the holiday season is officially over, seriously, and officially.

I think Gerard Depardieu is stalking me. He was definitely trying to make eye contact with me in My Father The Hero.

I keep walking by the 50% off xmas candy displays at all the stores, but I haven't bought anything yet, but I don't know what is going to happen when the discount hits 75%.

Don't even ask me about New Year's Eve. Some of the worst nights in my life have been New Year's Eve.
Ok, so you asked, here's three of the worst, in chronological order.
New Year's Eve 1960 - I was spending the week at my grandparents house. My grandparents who didn't have a television, a radio, a record player, or a telephone, and what the fuck, it was 1960 and everyone had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, I mean even the pre-Beverly Hills Clampetts had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, but no, not my grandparents.
So anyway, because they didn't have a television, a radio, a record player or a telephone you naturally went to bed early. Oh, and did I mention they lived in one of the worst public housing projects in Detroit? Well, they did. So anyway, precisely at midnight on new year's eve, and remember, I am only nine years old at the time, so, precisely at midnight there was all sorts of gun fire outside my bedroom window, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, gunfire followed by drunken revelry and really loud music, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, and really loud music, and my grandfather wandering the hallways in his nightshirt yelling ...
Play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alllllllllllllll-vin. I wanna here the Chipmunk Song!!!

I'm sorry, but that memory is so traumatic that you'll have to wait to hear the rest of my ...
New Year's Eves tales of woe.
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-vin ...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The ghosts of xmas past

Ronnie's father was a television repairman when we were all kids back on Quinkert in the 50's and 60's.
There were no doctors, or lawyers, or captains of industry living in our neighborhood, so yeah, a television repairman was pretty hot stuff.
We all thought that Ronnie pretty much had it made.
Seriously, back then televisions weren't cheap and disposable like they are today and if something went wrong with your one and only tv set you naturally called in the repairman.
Yeah, Ronnie pretty much had it made, or so we thought.
Ronnie's father made a pretty good living.
Not only did he have his day job at a tv repair shop but he also had quite a little not reported for tax purposes, under the counter, moonlighting gig from fixing televisions around the neighborhood.
The trouble was that Ronnie's mother spent it faster than Ronnie's father made it.
I should probably say here that Ronnie was a real prick, he really was, and I think he probably got his prickiness genes from his mother.
On the other hand, Ronnie's father was a real nice guy.
He was a quiet and unassuming man who had been a Sgt in the Marines and had fought in the Pacific during World War Two. All our dads were World War Two vets, and they had all seen action, but Ronnie's dad was the only Sgt, and the only Marine, and the only one who had fought in the Pacific, and yeah, even our dads' thought that he was pretty impressive shit.
Anyway, what does this have to do with the ghosts of xmas past?
Like I said, Ronnie's mother spent it faster than Ronnie's dad could make it and I guess she really went all out at xmas time.
So every year, a few days after xmas Ronnie's dad would get good and drunk and pull Ronnie aside, and gave him the keys to the house, a couple hundred dollars in cash, and he'd tell Ronnie to take good care of his mother and his brother and sisters, because the stress had just gotten too much for Ronnie's father to handle and, Ronnie's father had decided that it would be best for everyone if he just left and went back to Tennessee, and he'd be sending money weekly once he got settled in, and he'd hop in his television repair van and take off.
By the time he'd gotten to Toledo he had either sobered up or come to his senses and he'd drive back home.
Ronnie told me this when we are about fourteen years old, and yeah, Ronnie grew to hate xmas, and really, could you blame him.
Ronnie was still a prick, but who wouldn't be.
How fucked up is that?

Monday, December 26, 2005

I thought he was already dead.

Ok, we all know that week between xmas and new years is a very strange week, yes indeed.
One of the many phenomenon of said week is the deluge of old celebrities who go to meet their maker.
C'mon, I have no statistics to back me up, but it seems they all wait till the after xmas sales start before they decide to kick off.
Seriously, check it out.
Frank Sinatra
Bob Hope
Jimmy Stewart
George Burns
Johnny Carson
They all died the week after xmas.
Honest, you can check it out if you don't believe me.
Who is it going to be this year?
Bob Barker?
Dick Clark?
C. Montgomery Burns?
Queen Elizabeth?
One of those old gay English Shakespearian dudes?
Who, who, who???

Friday, December 23, 2005

Ho ho ho

Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Hey Boz, what's been happening?

I'm in a fashion quandary.
My fat pants are a little too big, but my regular pants are still a little too tight.
I think I'll take a page out of Homer Simpson's book and just go with a Muu-Muu.

In other news ...
I cleaned out the fridge yesterday.
I threw out the five cans of tuna that had been in there well over two years.
I threw out two nearly empty jars of Icy Hot.
I threw out a half bottle of generic Pepto-Bismol.
I threw out some cheese from one of the god awful gift baskets I received last year for xmas.
I threw out five jars of orange stuff that I think might have been spiced carrot shreddings, either that or the ghost of xmas past, or maybe it was the egg plant that ate Cincinnati.
And ...
I threw out a jar of apricots that had only two half apricots left in the jar, and they looked so lonely, and one was sort of all shriveled up and it looked a little like Abraham Lincoln the night he went to the Ford Theater to see Our American Cousin.

In other news ...
I was standing in line at Customer Service at the Evil Empire to get a refund and some guy was being all abusive to the clerks because he had to wait ohhhhh I don't know five minutes, and the woman in front of me told him to lighten up that the clerks were doing the best they could, and he told the lady to ...
Get a face lift
and then he told her to ...
Get a job so she could afford a face lift
And then the store manager came in and the two of them argued back and forth for awhile
And then the store manager said ...
We don't need your business
And then the guy said to the store manager ...
Why don't you get married so you won't look so gay.
And then I said ...
Ok, I didn't say anything, but ten minutes later I thought of some really cool stuff I could have said to him.
The jerk.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

When she walks just like a samba ...

Excuse me if I'm feeling a bit smug this evening.
I just found this comment on one of the photos on my buzznet account.
I mean seriously, she's from Brazil, and she's very attractive, and she's a professional photographer, and she's from ... Brazil, and I wonder if when she passes each one she passes go ahhhhhhhhhhhh, and she's from ... Brazil.

Monday, December 19, 2005

One Golden Ring

I'm listening to Harry Belafonte sing Day-o aka The Banana Boat Song.
My sister, my oldest sister, for years and years and years wanted the Harry Belafonte Live at Carnegie Hall Record album for Xmas. I don't know if she ever got it.
I do remember that the year she got a record player for Xmas she got some Elvis Presley 45s, that was the Xmas that I cracked the lid of the record player that my sister got for Xmas when I sat on it. Hey, I was only like five years old, ok, maybe six years old, and it's not like I broke open a ball point pen and got ink all over the arm rest of the new couch. I mean, I didn't do that until I was at least seven.
Anyway, I found the ring that my parents gave me for Xmas about 15 years ago.
Want to see it???

It's a star sapphire, and yeah, it's stuck on my chubby little finger.
Cool how it refracts the light though, isn't it, and I suppose that is why it is called a star sapphire.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Gift Card for MB

Gift Card for MB
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

When you care enough to give the Evil Empire.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Who needs snow tires?

Who needs snow tires?
Originally uploaded by boz48730.

Those damn kids!!!

You wouldn't believe just how cold that snow was.

I'm telling you, I was positively hypothermatic by the time I got it toweled off.
Look how white the snow made my beard and mustache look.

For all her fans

Looking like a Geriatric Gidget.

A video extravaganza

Me bringing the trash cans in after the snow.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Wednesday night, maybe

There's a snow storm heading in after midnight and I have a dentist appointment at noon, and all I want to do is stay home and play Hey You Damn Kids Get Off My Lawn with MB's new walker.

Wednesday, I think

Took MB to her Doctor appointment today.
She got a script for her rapid heartbeat (dilacor) and a walker to help her ... walk.
The Doctor told her she had to use it or lose it, meaning she had to walk to build up her leg muscles or she would end up in a wheel chair.
She got so wound up in the examination room that she wouldn't stop talking.
It was yak yak yak yak, and when bozzie was five he ....
And yak yak yak, and when bozzie's nephew asked him if he was ever going to get married bozzie said ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good housekeeper ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good cook ...
And yak yak yak, and bozzie is such a good nurse ...
And yak yak yak, bozzie wet the bed until he was twelve years old ....


I wish I had a walker.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

For ten bonus points ...

Who is this man, and why is he doing the "otay" sign?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Monday afternoon

Ok, I am having a bit of an anxiety crisis at the present time. Nothing really serious, tightness in my throat and what feels like a fist pressing against the back of my stomach. This is nothing to what it used to be like years and years ago, when at times I was a total basket case, but it worries me.
If you have any stress relieving tricks, bring them on, or even words of support will do, or money, you can always send money.

MB is doing great. She has a drs appointment on Wednesday.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Saturday night

I've been on an emotional roller coaster the last two nights, but I think it's getting better.
As of now MB is doing very well, sick, but better.
If there are any complications between now and Monday I will take her to the emergency room.
If there are no complications I will take her to the doctor's on Monday.
I think she is getting fed up with me hovering over her like a mother hen, what can I say, I hover when I'm worried.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Friday night

My mother is sick tonight.
She is no longer Mother Boz, mostly because I am no longer Boz.
She is just my mother and I am just Ken, and Ken isn't handling it very well.
I don't think it is too serious, at least tonight, but what of the coming days, weeks, months, and years.
I am not the altrusitic good son that some of you think I am. I am just a son, better than some, worse than others.
I feel helpless and anxious, and I don't like it.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

What style of panties are you?

My new quizilla quiz.

We don't need no stinkin' title

So, I'm supposed to be writing one of those Quizilla quizzes called Which Style of Panties Are You.
Instead I'm sitting here getting all wistful while listening to Donovan "Father of Ione Skye" Leitch, and I guess wistful is as good as any emotion at a little after midnight when the temperature is hovering around. let me check ...
Holy shit, when the temperature is hovering around zero-oh-oh-oh-oh.

Must be the season of the witch

So yeah, the Quizilla quiz.
I'm thinking ...
boy cut
Would you believe that according to my confidential panty expert that thongs are soooooooooo 90's and boy cut is the way to go.

On the firefly platform on Sunny Goodge Street
A violent hash smoker shook a chocolate machine
Involved in an eating scene

Yeah, Donovan Leitch.
He was someone I would have loved to have seem in concert back in the 60's
Because he was sooooooooo 60's, seriously 60's.

Goo Goo Barabajagal

So anyway ...
Which style of Panties are you
1. You want a midnight snack, what do you get?
a. A piece of pie, because the piece you had for dessert was so good.
b. Some carrot sticks, or maybe a salad, no dressing.
c. A diet soda and a sandwich.
d. All of the above, and a couple slices of pizza, and make that diet soda a Jolt Cola, and some of that leftover chicken would be good too. It doesn't really matter because I'm going to finish it off with a trip to the bathroom and a finger down the throat.

It's a start, I guess.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's Cole with an "e"

Ehhh, time to make a post I guess.
Keetsie is RIPing out at the curb in a garbage can, inside a trash bag, wrapped in paper towels, sniff ... sniff ... sniff ...
MB has taken Keetsie's place in the trilogy trinity of mockingdom. I mean, man, it's frightening how little respect I get around here, in my own house even.
It is very cold out today.
Dogs and fries for dinner.
I should really feed the other two birds, but they give me the evil eye whenever I walk by their cage, it's like they hold me responsible, when actually Gaby and Chello didn't even like Keetsie. I swear, I'm not making this up to assuage my guilty conscience.
Anyway, I guess that's all for now.

Monday, December 05, 2005



I went down, down, down, as the flames went up higher

Things Johnny Cash and I have in common
1. We were both intercept operators in the air force.
2. He was a country music icon, I'm an internet icon.
3. He married June Carter, I voted for Jimmy Carter.
4. We both shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
5. Joaquim Phoenix plays Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. I was pulled over on a traffic violation and had to walk a straight line in Phoenix.
6. My gmail account is boz48730, Johnny Cash had boz48731.
7. We both felt that Dolly Parton's boobs were way to big.
8. We both have trouble with number 8.
9. He was an original member of the Highwaymen. I was an original member of the RW ... BS.
10. We both prefer plastic over paper.

Monday is the next day of the rest of the week

I don't know. Things are kind of wanky lately.
Usually late at night is my time. The time when I get things done, but lately, ehhh, I've just felt bored, depressed and a little apprehensive about ... about everything I guess. It could be the season, it could be mortality creeping up, it could be that my nephew's daughter, the grand dufus's sister, my grand niece, is sixteen years old, an honor student, that has just started a part time job at Pet Smart, and when her dad picked her up from work yesterday he picked her up in the 2000 Mustang they just bought for her which she only has to pay insurance on.
Yeah, I think I'm just jealous.
Or tired.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Book, Music, and Movie Exchange

I just had another brilliant idea.
All bloggers love to read, listen to music, and watch movies, am I right?
But the costs are outrageous.
So what do you think about starting a message board where we could list books, cds or cassettes, and movies that we would like to trade for other books, cds or cassettes, and movies?
I'd list what I had for trade, you'd list what you had for trade, everybody would list what they had to trade. This could lead to the downfall of EBay!!!
Man, boz, this is a great idea!!!
Media mail costs about a buck, what have you go to lose?
Let me know what you think, and if I get any interest whatsoever I'll send a group email to all my friends, and you could send a group email to all your friends, and then we can see what develops.

Hey, at least I got a halfway interesting post out of it.

The first rule of the grand ennui is ...

Ok, so I got the first message on my new telephone/answering machine yesterday.
It was from LuAnne from the library.
The book I asked her to put a hold on is in.
It's by that Chuck guy that all you young people get a bone over.
You know, the guy who wrote Fight Club.
It's Choke, and is it just me but does the book cover look like the cover of Gray's Anatomy?
It is just me, isn't it? I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Update- Shmupdate

MB is doing better, but she is still a little hesitant about walking on her own.
My new bed arrived today. It's only a full size but it's about 12 feet high and I need a ladder to climbing into bed. What???
Blah, blah, blah.
I had to get a new phone, well actually, I had to get a new answering machine, so I just got a combo instead. Luckily I checked one last time before I called the phone company and made a fool of myself with wild accusations about the crapacity of their maintenance department.
I have a dental check-up today, which is cool because I get to have a busty dental technician, and a busty dental technician assistant orally probe me ... bustily and orally.
My diet is working, so you can call me Slim because None just left town.