Thursday, May 27, 2010

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why ... babe.

Dear Penthouse Forum,
So, I bought an Acer Netbook for $199.99, which is a great price. I mean a really great price, but for some reason I have this urge to tell people that I won it, and then have sex with it.
Yeah, sex with the netbook, Oh yeah, hot steamy netbook sex.
Sex, sex, sex, sex.

Monday, May 24, 2010

How long does it take before fuck becomes meaningless?

Fuck, it is uncomfortably sticky today.
And I'm stuck in the fucking house.
Because the fucking plumber is coming today.
And the fucking plumber said he would be here sometime late in the morning.
It is now fucking two thirty in the fucking afternoon.
Which if my knowledge of GMT is correct means that's he's at least two and half fucking hours late.
So I fucking called him.
And I got his fucking voice mail.
But the fucker did call me back.
He said he was running long on a job at the fucking hospital.
Yeah, like I believe he's at the fucking hospital.
He's probably drinking beer and eating fucking chicken wings at some fucking bar that has a lakeside fucking breeze.
While I am stuck in this fucking house waiting for the fucking plumber to finish his fucking beer and fucking chicken wings.
Life's a fucking fuck.

Blogger, beat me, I deserve it for what I have done to you.

Blogger, please forgive me for I have strayed.
What's it been six months, a year, a lifetime.
I feel such shame.
Man, a lot of blogs have died, and a few people too.
So, I'm going to try this again.
I'm not going to promise you ice cream in the sky with diamonds, or cherry coke with a hint of vanilla, or boner inducing posts. I'm just going to promise you that I'm going to try and post, you know, every once in awhile, and maybe a hickey just under your left ear.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Hey, boz here

I'm going to the beach tomorrow because I think I want to be a beach bum this summer, because it is cheaper than being a buy everything you see online bum, well, after I buy all the things I need to buy to become a beach bum, like one of those mesh chairs with a drink holder that I can sit in and watch the young girls in their bikinis as they walk by, and a cooler to put the drinks in that will go in the drink holder in the mesh chair, and 500 spf sun screen, and beach towels, and stuff to put in the cooler, and flip flops so I don't get sand in my shoes, and mescaline, and two, maybe three, hand grenades, and a compass, no not a compass, but that thing that is like a compass, you know what I mean, right, it's like a compass but it's not, it's an mp3 player, yeah, that's it.
Oh, and a pair of very cool mirrored aviator sunglasses.