Dan-o and Boz's Excellent Adventure

So, me and Dan-o, my new BFF, got on ICQ and talked practically all night.
Oh yeah, remind me to change my user name on ICQ to Boz, Dan-o was right, Mr.Stud sounds teh ghey.
Anyway, my new BFF Dan-o started telling me about the Tour De France, which is a big bike race in France, and how it is just like NASCAR except when the bikes crash they don't catch on fire, and I asked him if the Tour De France was as popular as football and then he said, get this, I'm not shitting you, then he said that in France they call soccer football, and they call football bowling, seriously, I was starting to think what a rad country France must be until Dan-o told me that the French think Jerry Lewis is a genius, I mean it's obvious that they've never seen his telethon or the movie about the sad faced clown in the concentration camp that leads all the children to the gas chambers.
Then Dan-o told me that we should check out the Tour De France next year and I thought he meant ride our bikes over to France, but it turns out there is a river or a lake or something between the States and France, so that wouldn't be feasible ... feasible that's Dan-o's word not mine!
I don't know, it might be a lot of fun, and Dan-o told me that the University of France's soccer team ... I mean football team has some really bitchin' hot cheerleaders.