Friday, May 13, 2005

Sitting in the bleachers minding my own business

If I stare at the screen long enough maybe something will happen.
Maybe words will fly out of my fingers, or monkeys out my ass.

I have become such a coward.
Afraid to take chances.
Afraid to even try.
How will I ever know how much I can do.
How will I ever know how much I can't do.
If I never do anything.
Is the gain worth the pain?

I put my life on hold.
And let someone else make decisions for me.
Conservative thinking has cost me a year of my life.
It's my fucking life, and I agreed without a whimper.

I am a goddamn chameleon.
I am whatever anyone needs me to be.
Without their knowledge, without their asking.
I am so eager to be all things to all people I have become almost irrelevant.

No comments: