Friday, May 04, 2007

Bite me, and bite me again, and again, and again

Ten things that haven't anything to do with any of the other ten things.

1. If I were a writer I wouldn't want to be like any other writer and I'd want no other writer to be like me, as if they'd want to be, anyway, huh.
2. I had a large diet coke, you know, one of those 44 ounce type deals, in the car today, in the drink holder, and when I pulled out of the parking lot, it was no longer in the drink holder, it was now, or it was then on the floor in front of the passenger seat, and I panicked for a moment and almost drove into oncoming traffic, but I ... fuck, it's two in the morning and MB just told me she was out of Depends ... out of Depends, I just bought her two packages two days ago ... there's twenty in each package, it's ridiculous, she must wear five at a time, I am flabbergasted, and I can't think straight.
3. Now my head feels like it is about to explode, with confetti and everything.
4. I am defeated.
5. I give up.
6. Would someone please smother me in my sleep.
7. My god, even Sam Cooke songs can't calm me down, Sam Cooke can calm anyone down, but he can't calm me down. Seriously, I think I'm about to hyper-ventilate.
8. You think I'm overstating it don't you.
9. I guess I could go to the Evil Empire, they're always open. I wonder if I could go in there dressed like I'm dressed now. I guess the tu-tu would look alright but I'm not so sure about the tube sock arm warmers and KISS make-up, ok, it's not KISS make-up, but you know ... Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
10. And finally ... Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fuck it, nevermind, I'll just go sit in the corner, act like I'm not here. There's some Diet Coke in the fridge if you get thirsty, and I think there's some leftover meatloaf in there too.
G'night.

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