I think I might have gone over the edge

I want a muffin, but not a bran muffin.
I want to be the last of the red hot lovers, but not the very last.
I want to be free, but not obvious about it.
I want this headache to go away, but not at the expense of something else.

I really felt like smacking a retarded man the other day, he really deserved it, but if nothing else I have self control so I didn't.

I got the finger up the wazoo at the doctor's today, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit titillating.

I don't know, I guess that's it for now.

Except for this.

And this.

And this.