50 Questions from Malone, 6-10

6. Ever married? Explain.
No, never married. Never close to being married. Never really wanted to be married. Never met anyone who wanted to marry me. Now I'm too old, and I never think about it anymore, not that I ever did think about it, but if I had, I don't think of it anymore.

7. Last date. Explain.
It was during the Clinton Administration, back when I was teaching, and it was with another teacher who was a few years younger than me, and then the whole hyperthyroidism thing hit and dating was the last thing on my mind, and now, seriously, the dating pool that is available to me, and I mean age wise, because, well, women my own age, or near my own age, just want to talk about their children, or their granchildren, or their dead husband, or their divorced ex-husband, or Oprah, and who needs that, and ... if I were to date younger women, who would feel more skeevier, them or me?

8. Pets? Explain.
I had a dog for sixteen years that I got a few months after I moved up north in 1984, and when he died I didn't really want to have to deal with that birth, life, death cycle again, but I did sort of want a pet, so I bought three parakeets in 2001, and in the past year two of them have died, and really their whole birth, life, death cycle didn't effect me, and I just wrapped them in paper towels and threw them in the trash when it was time for each of them to respectively meet their maker, and now I have one bird, and I think this is the perfect bird to be the last of three, because he jumps around, and squawks, and pecks at his reflection in the mirror all day, and seems pretty much as happy as a pig in shit, or maybe I should say a bird in guano.

9. What are you good at? Meaning – everybody has at least ONE super, huge skill that they can do with relative ease. An uncanny talent. What’s yours?
People can confide in me. I mean you wouldn't believe some of the shit people tell me. I mean they tell me stuff right out of the blue, and I don't mean just friends or family, I mean the guy pumping gas next to me at the gas station, the old lady in front of me in the supermarket, so, is that a talent, I mean they don't even swear me to secrecy, but if they did I would certainly honor that, well, if it was something really juicy I might tell a few people, but I would swear them to secrecy. So I guess my talent is I'm a good listener, or I look like I would be a good listener, or maybe I give off a sympathetic vibe, or something.

10. Feel awkward being so tall?
I'm really not that tall. I'm only six foot three, and you know what is weird about that? Up until I was in my early 40's I was only six foot two, and I guess I had some sort of late growth spurt, because one time I was at the doctor's and they checked my weight and height and I was six foot three, and when I told the nurse that I must have grown an inch she looked at me like I was an imbecilic child who had to be humored, but ... when I went home I measured myself without my shoes, because I had forgotten if I had my shoes off or on at the doctor's office, and I was still six foot three, and no I have never felt awkward being this tall.