In other news, I didn't buy anything today that I already have and don't really need another one of, but it's only 5pm, so there's still a chance

I'm really not sure what day it is.
I think it's Tuesday, but it might be Wednesday.
I'm worse off than I thought I was.
I just checked.
It's Wednesday, and I was just trying to be funny when I wrote that I thought it was Tuesday, but it might be Wednesday, because I really thought today was Tuesday.

I should go to the gym, but I am very sleepy, but maybe if go to the gym even in this sleepy state the endomorphs, or whatever, will kick and will be magically awakened .. ah haaaaa, and ok, it isn't endomorphs, but it's a word like endomorphs, and didn't I just go through this a post or two ago with allegory?
Fuck, what's the word, it's endo something.
I need a nap, and a lobotomy.

Naked pictures of Joyce DeWitt

I've finally stopped hallucinating, but now one of my temporary crowns is throbbing, and I just called the cable company because my onDemand is all screwy again ... AGAIN, so he told me to refresh it ... AGAIN, by unplugging my cable box for a minute, and letting it rest, and I think "letting it rest" is a technical term, or maybe it's an allegory, or one of those other words that I really don't know the meaning of but just throw out there because maybe it's the right word, and maybe I haven't stopped hallucinating after all, so I have to let it rest, and then plug it back in, and wait a half hour to see if it refreshes, and if it doesn't Mr. Allegory Man says I might have to get a new cable box, which is cool with me because I like new things, and yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm still hallucinating, either that or the ghost of John Ritter really is sitting on my shoulder offering me sage advice and naked pictures of Joyce DeWitt.

People ... stay away from the brown nail polish remover ... stay away from the brown nail polish remover

I am hallucinating because I used half of a ten ounce bottle of nail polish remover to clean some gunky residue off the bathroom floor.
I am GOD
I am DOG
I am the guy who spent even more money today when I bought a digital picture frame from Rite-Aid (the devil's drugstore), but it was on sale for $79.999999, and I had a twenty dollar gift card that I got from transferring a prescription from that other pharmacy with the name I can't remember because of the ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ...
I am GOD
I am DOG
I am LOU FUCKING REED
I am BOZ ... FOUR ... EIGHT ... SEVEN ... THREE ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZERO
I am the WALL LESS
Goo goo AH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Skip the part about my legs because the real post is about me buying stuff that I don't need.

I used to have hairy legs, but now I don't, and sometimes I miss having them.
I'll finish this later.

So, I've been on a buying spree the past few weeks.
Yeah, it's like I'm addicted to buying stuff, not just stuff, but stuff that I already have that is plenty good enough that I really don't need to buy more of it, like about a month ago I bought a new digital camera after just buying a new digital camera earlier this year to replace the digital camera that I bought about three years ago that was plenty good enough for whatever needs I may have, or whatever needs I may have thought I had, and then I bought a multifunction printer, ok, I didn't have a multifunction printer, so I guess that's the exception that proves the rule, but I could have bought a cheaper multifunction which would have been plenty good enough for my multifunctioning needs, so I guess there's that, and then I bought an area rug yesterday to place over the area rug that I bought two weeks ago, to replace the perfectly good area rug that I got about six months ago that I didn't quite like the size or color of, which is worth more than the two area rugs that I am now using put together and tripled in price, and ... I bought a clock radio slash cd player yesterday, but I already have a clock, and a thousand cd players, but I have top tell you that the blue LCD (LED???) numbers are mind trippingly tripping my mind in their awesomeness, and oh yeah, I forgot the new MP3 player I ordered last week, to replace the MP3 player that I ordered a week and a half ago but cancelled when the dot com that I ordered it from gave me attitude, but it couldn't have been much attitude because the MP3 player that I ordered last week is the same MP3 player that I ordered and cancelled and from the same dot com that gave me what I guess wasn't so much attitude after all, and then today ... from the same dot come I bought a new webcam, but seriously, I couldn't turn it down because it's a 100 dollar webcam that will be a twenty dollar webcam after the eighty dollar rebate is deducted from the final cost, and suddenly I've got this sharp stabbing pain in the back of my head, on the right side just above my neck, so I guess that's it, but it's ok, because that is all that I bought that I didn't really need, except for all the ink pens, and if it makes you feel any better I didn't buy the digital camera that I saw yesterday, but it was very tempting, but I didn't, and the pain, the pain, the stabbing pain feels like it will never go away.

And yeah, I forgot the shoes.

What's gnu?

My stomach is making audible gurgling sounds.
Maybe it's the glass of diet soda I just drank.
Maybe it's stomach cancer.
Maybe I'm possessed.
Maybe my stomach and I can get a job as morning drive time FM shock jocks Boz and Gurgle featuring Moonie Pottie in the eye in the sky traffic copter.
Maybe I'm going back to bed.

#11 would have been Morning Dew by Tim Rose

Random play on my Panasonic $25.00 2 Gig Mp3 Player.
1. Helpless - Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. The summer of 1970, and I hated the summer of 1970. I was in the Air Force and stationed on the island of Crete, and I was having trouble adjusting, because I was stubborn, and I refused to chill, and let the fact that I was in the military make me unable to enjoy one of the coolest places anyone could have hoped to be in the summer of 1970, but I got my act together and the fall and winter of 1970, and the spring and summer of 1971 were like one of those coming of age movies where things happened, some good, some great, some shitty, but, well, but yeah.
2. Green Onions - Booker T and the MGs. Sometime in 1963 or maybe 62. Made me want to learn how to play the bass guitar for about a week until I realized how hard it would be so I went back to making model cars, learning how to masturbate, and waiting for the Beatles to happen.
3. Time Has Come Today - The Chambers Brothers. Spring of 1968. A really long song, but not as long as Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie, but a little longer than The End by the Doors, and the exact same length to the second, and I'm serious, to the second of East/West by the Paul Butterfield Blues Band.
4. Rough Boys - Pete Townshend. Late 70's or early 80's, and yeah, if this song doesn't prove that Pete is a charter member of NAMBLA, well, nothing will. Go ahead and listen, and try to deny it, I dare you, I double dog dare you, and I quote " I want to hug and kiss you"
5. Timothy Leary's Dead, or maybe it's just Timothy Leary - The Moody Blues. The summer of 1968, and man, oh man, oh man, try listening to this while smoking something that someone told you was pot, no shit Boz, it's pot, and not seeing God or that guy who is like God from one of those fake religions, I mean it's just too heavy for someone who just turned 18 and is not college material to handle.
6. Bowling Shoes - Fountains of Wayne. I got nothing, this is the first time I've heard it, but I do like their song about being in love with their girl friends mother, and that other song about Hackensack, which is in New Jersey and which I probably spelled wrong.
7. Poor Side of Town - Johnny Rivers. Johnny Rivers was cool up to a point. I mean he didn't have a Beatle's haircut, but he did sing Secret Agent Man which was as cool as you could get until the Summer of Love made it irrelevant, and it's really NOT that hard to find nice things on the poor side of town either.
8. Higher and Higher - Jackie Wilson. Another one of those mid 60's songs which is dominating this list, but what can I say, I'm a mid 60's kind of guy, and even Van Morrison knew how cool Jackie Wilson was, and if I had a nickel for every time I typed "cool" in this post I could buy a pack of Marlboros' if I could go back in a time machine and buy them at mid-60's prices.
9. Laugh at Me - Sonny Bono. Sonny Bono was almost considered a musical genius back in the ... yeah, the mid-60's, back when he was still wearing his bear skin vest, and before he got his nose fixed, and before Cher cut off his balls, and did I ever tell you about the time I saw Sonny and Cher in a Howard Johnson's at a turnpike rest stop in either Pennsylvania or New York???
10. Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford. I wouldn't mind being a girl for a couple of minutes if I could sing this song like Lita Ford sings it, or maybe Lita Ford made a deal with the devil where she became a man for a few minutes so she could sing ... I went to a party the other night, I didn't get drunk I got in a fight ...

Ten's enough.

Periods, no not that kind, are not for Sunday

I'm sitting here half asleep, half dressed, half assed
Trying to psyche myself into going for a walk
But then again maybe I'll just go back to bed
Because it is after all Periods Are Not For Sunday ... Sunday
And no, dot dot dots are not periods
At least not at this time of the month
Ugh

The leaves are happening

I took MB out to see the leaves today.
She didn't embarrass me too much.

If Thursday night is "Download Christian Rock Night" and today is Friday, then I guess I'm going to hell, or stuck in Oscoda's homecoming parade.

Nice title for a non-existent post.

For my edification.

The phone woke me up an hour and fifteen minutes ago.
It wasn't a phone call.
It was the sound the phone makes when the receiver isn't put back into the handset properly.
You know the
Beep ..... beep ..... beep ..... beep beep beep beep beep beep (stop) (repeat ad infinitum)
So, I fixed the phone, I think, and ate breakfast ... don't ask.
And here I am.
And it's raining.
And it's still dark out.
Or maybe it's stopped raining because I can't hear it anymore.
And a truck, or a car with a bad muffler just drove by, probably someone on their way to work.
AND I JUST hit the caps lock by mistake, while I was pulling an sdhc memory card out of the memory card reader.
And I'm not convinced that I've seen the last of the heartburn I had last night (see previous post).
And the gym at the community center will be closed for the next four days because it's been rented out to the hospital for some kind of hospital gala, whatever that is.
And there was something whimsical that happened to me yesterday that I wanted to write about, but the heartburn hit before I got around to it, and now I can't remember what it was that I wanted to write about, or aboot, for my Canadian friends.
And I can hear the rain again.
And it's a quarter after seven.
And I'm going back to bed.
And I'll probably turn on the TV and try to find a movie that will fit the way I feel, but with female nudity, but not the boom chicka wow wow kind, more the girl with glasses with a tattoo at the base of her neck that is normally covered up by her hair, except when she's doing female nudity for my edification, and believe it or not I got the correct spelling of edification on the first try, but now I'm kind of unsure if edification is the right word, but yeah, I'm going back to bed, and do the TV thing, and I'll probably be awake by ten, and then I'll take the trash cans to the curb because it's trash day, and I hope the rain, that I can still hear, will have stopped by then.

Death be not proud

I had heartburn really bad tonight.
I honestly thought that I might have to call 911.
It was like someone stuck a knife into my chest just below by sternum.
I almost cried because it hurt so bad.
I thought it might be a heart attack even though I knew better.
I am not lying.
I have no idea what brought it on.
It just hit me BLAM!!!
Tums didn't help, but ...
I found some heartburn pills and popped a couple of them, then I laid down with a cold cloth on my forehead, and slowly, slowly, ever so slowly, the pain started to subside.
So, I guess I am better, but just writing about it is giving me a little twinge.

And ...
Speaking about dying.
I almost fell to my death taking this picture on Tuesday afternoon, of course if I had fallen to my death on Tuesday afternoon I wouldn't have had killer heartburn on Tuesday night, so I guess you have to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good, and the black jelly beans with the red jelly beans, and I actually like black jelly beans, but not mixed in with any other colors, or course black isn't a color, and it isn't a flavor either, but who are you to judge, ha, I didn't think so.

Ice cream is on sale this week.

I think I have finally figured out how to work my printer/copier/scanner.
It only took me a week and a half of headaches, and twelve copies of one picture that I didn't even want in the first place.
So, cough-cough-cough, if you have any tasteful photos lying around, and ...
Nah, well, yeah, but nah, but you could surprise me.

You'd better wear some boxing gloves in case some fool might wanna fight.

You know what smells good?
Aspirin smells good.
Go ahead go find a bottle.
You got it?
Open it up and take a whiff.
They smell like health, don't they.

It's not quite eight in the morning.
The gym opens at eight.
I think I'm going to go walk early today.
I put new laces in my shoes.
They look snazzy.
I hope someone notices.

The snazzy new laces and my faux skater boy power walking shoes that I got at Kmart for ten dollars that will soon be retired because my FRENCH shoes will be here by the end of the week.



The rug is sort of new too.
I bought it to match the laces.

Maybe I should clarify something.
I got the faux skater boy shoes from Kmart, not the snazzy laces.
I got the laces three pairs for a dollar at the dollar store in AuGres.

Maybe I should take the camera with me when I go this morning.
You see a lot of interesting things this time of the morning, or this time in the morning, I guess.

The shoes are in the mail.

I look different without my glasses.



I'm listening to my 2 gig mp3 player.
The Panasonic one that I got at the Evil Empire for 25 bucks, marked down from a hundred bucks.
I reformatted it tonight.
All new songs.
Natural Beauty by Neil Young is on now.
It's long and it's live, and there are crickets chirping in the background.
Ladies and Gentleman ...
Almost Grown by Chuck "My Ding-a-Ling" Berry.

My name is boz48730, and I'm a addict.

I walked thirteen miles in less than 24 hours at the gym.
I walked six miles last night, and I walked seven miles this afternoon.

I didn't do any spinning, which you would think involved spinning around in circles until you puke, pass out, or start listening to Christian Rock, but it's not, it's riding a stationary bike while someone motivates you ... by promising that you won't ever have to listen to Christian Rock, or Chris Rock, ever again.

I like Dexter and his girl friend Rita.



But, I like the actress that plays Rita even more.



Julie Benz, the actress who plays Rita, outside in her underwear.

Don't watch scary movies late at night or you'll end up blogging at all hours of the morning.

I realized today that I am a power walker, but not the kind that swings his arms like a retard. No, I'm the kind that averages 4.5 miles or more an hour. So I decided that I'd better buy some really good walking shoes so I don't lose any more toe nails or skin, so I looked around on the www for walking shoes, but walking shoes are like what you wear when you're 114 years old and the only walking you do is from the bed to your Amigo Power Scooter, so I changed my search to running shoes, and when you're doing 4.5 miles or more an hour you might as well say are you are almost running, or at least almost jogging, and what is jogging if not slow running ... ha!

And you know my criteria for buying anything.
It has to be on sale.
It has to be cool/different looking.
It has to be gray and orange.

So these are the shoes I bought.



They are the Lafuma Active Raid GTX XCR Sneaker(s)
And they were reduced from $119.95 to $34.89 at Amazon.
And they are from FRANCE, just like the Coneheads.
And they are gray and orange.
And they are cool/different looking, and if you don't believe me, believe what Lafuma says ...
Sounds like a great shoe for rugged trail running, fast packing, day hiking, or just looking cool standing in a puddle.

I think I've written this post before, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Songs that I remember playing on my mp3 while I walked almost six miles at the gym on Friday.
1. Homicide by 999, which is 666 on their ass.
2. Lucy at the Gym by Jill Sobule, she's the one who did the song I Kissed a Girl, which I thought was both sweet and highly arousing.
3. Riders on the Storm by the Doors, and Jim Morrison isn't really dead, he's living in the crawl space beneath my house with Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and the original Marlboro Man.
4. Happy by the Stones with Keith Richards singing lead, and I liked most of the Stones songs that Richards sang lead on.
5. Black Day in July by Gordon Lightfoot about the 1967 Detroit Riot, and yes, I remember the riot well.
6. The Motor City is Burning by John Lee Hooker also about the Detroit Riot, and whenever I hear a song by John Lee Hooker ... I said HOOKER ... whenever I hear a song by John Lee Hooker I sing along and feel cool.
7. Sonora's Death Row by Robert Earl Keen, who, like John Lee Hooker, also has three names, but I never feel cool when I sing along to any of his songs.
8. Rainy Day Man by Tom Rush, and he's from New Hampshire, or Vermont, you know, one of those skinny states in the northeast where nothing ever happens.
9. Baby's on Fire by Brian Eno, who is more of a genius than Brian Wilson ever was.
10. The Fat Angel by Donovan who is the father of actress Ione Skye, and isn't that a pretty name?
11. The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel, which was the last song I heard before induction into the Air Force on a cold and windy Friday morning in March of 1969 after downing four White Castles, an order of Fries, and a Coke on the drive to the induction center where I didn't have to sit next to Arlo Guthrie or any of the father rapers.

Foto Friday

The furnace guy did come, but he didn't get here until four.

My late lunch from the BK



Everything was very tasty.

The weather forecast said that there might be water spouts on the lake today, so I got all excited about taking pics, but alas, no water spouts, so I took a picture of myself instead.

Myself instead



The photo copier on my multifunction printer is fantastic. I've already used all ten free 4x6 photo papers that came with it.

Me looking at the photos I copied and salivating



And last but not least ...
Me in the bathroom at the gym after walking five miles, and why am I smiling after walking five miles, maybe it's because Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight is playing on my MP3, or maybe I am just hallucinating.

There's a leaf stuck in a spider web outside my window.

It is very cold today.
Cold enough to turn on the furnace for the first time.
I turned on the furnace.
It didn't work.
I called the plumbing and heating guy.
The guy that I don't trust.
He said he'll have someone out this afternoon to have a look at it.
I'm laying 50/50 odds that someone will be out this afternoon.
I hope the furnace doesn't need a crown.

I taught you everything you know about blogging, but I didn't teach you everything I forgot.

Had my dentist's appointment.
The one filling that could have been two fillings turned into two crowns.
The dentist and the busty Samoan dental assistant did the preliminary work today.
I was in the chair three hours,
During the three hours I had two bathroom breaks.
Two crowns ...
I could buy two computers for the cost of the two crowns.
I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, sleeping off the novocaine.
The time I didn't spend in bed I spent eating.
I had two Danish.
I had two bowls of ice cream with cool whip.
I had two bowls of chicken soup.
I had a cheesecake sort of thing with cherries.
I might have had more, but I don't remember.
My jaw still hurts.
And I think I caught some kind of intestinal virus because it was cold today and I wore a short sleeve shirt when I should have been wearing a long sleeve shirt and a jacket.
I slept through a movie where Samuel L. Jackson played a crazy dreadlocked vagrant that yelled a lot, what else is new.
These are the socks I wore all day today.