To miriam wherever I may find her

This is for Kat.

I found this email in my spam folder.

Hi
My name is miriam. I found your email on that dating site.
I also love sex on the side. I have a loving partner but he is working 16 hours a day and we have sex only once a week :(
If you are interested and wanna see my pictures just email me at cmiriam7@byemailonline.info
Don`t reply, use the email above (my boyfriend doesn`t know about that email!)

Here is my reply.
Hi Miriam
I never thought I'd get a reply from my ad on that dating site, and
when you say that dating site I am assuming you mean the one that
specializes in finding sexxxxxxxxx partners for hairlipped albino
crossdressers.
I am glad you like sex on the side too. It's the only way I can have
sex is on the side because my sleep apnia only allows me to have sex
on the side without making me fall asleep, and falling asleep makes me
drool, and nothing turns the ladies off faster than a drooling
hairlipped albino crossdresser who is asleep ... and snoring too,
hahahaha, I made up the part about snoring, it's more of a whimper
than a snore, and then again it's not much a whimper either.
Your boyfriend works sixteen hours a day ... what is he a friggin'
doctor, and if he is could you ask him if he knows any doctors who
specialize in hairlips with a minor in sleep apnia.
Oh yeah, send pictures. Can I make a special request? I love pictures
of women with their underwear on backwards. I'm getting a chubbie just
thinking about it!!!
Waiting for your reply with bait on my breath.
Harlan Saunders Esq.