Remember that time you told me that you had sex in a tree with your second cousin's best friend, and I said impossible?
Well, I still don't believe you, but I do believe it's possible.
By the way, your second cousin said to say HI, and she said it in CAPITAL LETTERS, so no, it wasn't a typo on my part, and I'm starting to hate commas as much as I hate comas.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Insightful
Remember when I used to make short, funny, insiteful posts, and we'd laugh, and laugh, and laugh, in that way only we could.
Pretend that you did, because this might be one of them, and I have no idea how to spell insiteful.
Pretend that you did, because this might be one of them, and I have no idea how to spell insiteful.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
An email from Bailey
I received this spam email today.
Hi
It`s bailey again. Will you ever contact me?
I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you again!
If you wanna see them just drop me a line at: bbailey7@bestvisiongroup.info
And I replied ...
Dear Bailey,
Let me answer your email as if it were a song.
The Bailey Song
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
I think of you DAAAAA-a-a-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley.
How could I forget about youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You're the one who gave me the fluuuuuuuuuuuuu*
You know that I doooooooooooooooooooooo
Want those nube pictures of youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
I've been AWAAAA-a-a-a-ay
For sixty DAAAAA-a-a-a-a-y-sssssssssssss
But it wasn't my fault
I didn't know those cell phones were hot
And believe it or not
On the day I got caught
I called out your name
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
So I'm contacting you now
Just don't have a cow
This is the line that I'll drop
'Cause you know I can't stop
Thinking of you-uuuuuuuuuu
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
*It was actually Chlamydia but I couldn't thing of anything that
rhymed with Chlamydia.
So, yes, send on the nube pictures and make my man parts tingle.
Yours Truly
Elvis Jr.
Hi
It`s bailey again. Will you ever contact me?
I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you again!
If you wanna see them just drop me a line at: bbailey7@bestvisiongroup.info
And I replied ...
Dear Bailey,
Let me answer your email as if it were a song.
The Bailey Song
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
I think of you DAAAAA-a-a-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley.
How could I forget about youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You're the one who gave me the fluuuuuuuuuuuuu*
You know that I doooooooooooooooooooooo
Want those nube pictures of youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
I've been AWAAAA-a-a-a-ay
For sixty DAAAAA-a-a-a-a-y-sssssssssssss
But it wasn't my fault
I didn't know those cell phones were hot
And believe it or not
On the day I got caught
I called out your name
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
So I'm contacting you now
Just don't have a cow
This is the line that I'll drop
'Cause you know I can't stop
Thinking of you-uuuuuuuuuu
Pretty BAAAAAA-a-a-a-i-i-i-ley
*It was actually Chlamydia but I couldn't thing of anything that
rhymed with Chlamydia.
So, yes, send on the nube pictures and make my man parts tingle.
Yours Truly
Elvis Jr.
Monday, June 11, 2007
I took a forty eight minute walk this morning and all I got was this sweat soaked t-shirt.
And I took a bike ride this evening and all I got was a bunch of those little flying bugs that you can hardly see until they get stuck in your teeth stuck in my teeth.
And I think I hurt one of my man parts on the bicycle seat.
And tomorrow is my birthday.
And all I can think about is my 13th birthday when I got a bike from my parents, which I liked, and a dual bicycle basket, that I didn't like, from my sister who was in Alaska and had ordered through Sears, and I asked my parents if I could return it for the money, which would have been about five dollars, which would have been a princely sum for a thirteen year old back in 1963, and my parents said they would return it for me, and they did, and when I asked for the money they said that Sears would send it to me, and I believed them because they were my parents, and I was thirteen years old and still naive in the ways of the world, and all summer I talked about what I was going to buy for myself with the five dollars as soon as I got it from Sears, I mean, at least once a day I told everyone my plans for what I was going to spend the money on, and then one day my dad and I picked my mother up from work, and I guess she had a hard day, and I guess she was tired, and I started in on my latest rant on how I was going to spend the money, and like I said my mother must have had a hard day, and she must have been tired, because all of a sudden she just turned and looked me straight in the eye in the back seat and said ...
Look, they gave us the money that day, and we spent it on clothes for you, clothes which you needed a damn sight more than you needed whatever the hell you planned on spending that money on. So that's it, there is no money, and I don't want to hear another word about it!
I was stunned into silence.
I didn't know what to do.
I wanted to cry, but I was thirteen years old and I kind of figured that wouldn't help.
I wanted to yell and curse at my parents and blame them for ruining my summer waiting for that fucking money that I now realized I would never see, but they were my parents, and if I had tried something like that they would have taken turns knocking the crap out of me for being such an ungrateful kid.
So, I remained silent.
I remained silent for at least a week.
It was the first guilt trip I ever laid on anybody, and it worked, and it felt good, but not as good as getting the five dollars would have felt, but I was thirteen, and what else could I do, and still ...
Still ...
After all these years I STILL get all bent out of shape whenever I think of ...
I mean they could have told me right away, and I would've gotten pissed, but I would have gotten over it, and after all these years I STILL get bent out of shape whenever I think of it.
Ok, fine, I'm going to go take a shower now, and while I'm at it I think I'll hide MB's Depends.
And I think I hurt one of my man parts on the bicycle seat.
And tomorrow is my birthday.
And all I can think about is my 13th birthday when I got a bike from my parents, which I liked, and a dual bicycle basket, that I didn't like, from my sister who was in Alaska and had ordered through Sears, and I asked my parents if I could return it for the money, which would have been about five dollars, which would have been a princely sum for a thirteen year old back in 1963, and my parents said they would return it for me, and they did, and when I asked for the money they said that Sears would send it to me, and I believed them because they were my parents, and I was thirteen years old and still naive in the ways of the world, and all summer I talked about what I was going to buy for myself with the five dollars as soon as I got it from Sears, I mean, at least once a day I told everyone my plans for what I was going to spend the money on, and then one day my dad and I picked my mother up from work, and I guess she had a hard day, and I guess she was tired, and I started in on my latest rant on how I was going to spend the money, and like I said my mother must have had a hard day, and she must have been tired, because all of a sudden she just turned and looked me straight in the eye in the back seat and said ...
Look, they gave us the money that day, and we spent it on clothes for you, clothes which you needed a damn sight more than you needed whatever the hell you planned on spending that money on. So that's it, there is no money, and I don't want to hear another word about it!
I was stunned into silence.
I didn't know what to do.
I wanted to cry, but I was thirteen years old and I kind of figured that wouldn't help.
I wanted to yell and curse at my parents and blame them for ruining my summer waiting for that fucking money that I now realized I would never see, but they were my parents, and if I had tried something like that they would have taken turns knocking the crap out of me for being such an ungrateful kid.
So, I remained silent.
I remained silent for at least a week.
It was the first guilt trip I ever laid on anybody, and it worked, and it felt good, but not as good as getting the five dollars would have felt, but I was thirteen, and what else could I do, and still ...
Still ...
After all these years I STILL get all bent out of shape whenever I think of ...
I mean they could have told me right away, and I would've gotten pissed, but I would have gotten over it, and after all these years I STILL get bent out of shape whenever I think of it.
Ok, fine, I'm going to go take a shower now, and while I'm at it I think I'll hide MB's Depends.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can
I was going to make a post just now, but it's late, and I'm tired, and I just finished the first chapter of Hotel New Hampshire, and maybe I just finished the first chapter of THE Hotel New Hampshire, I'm not certain, and that's why I've decided not to make a post tonight, because I am not certain, but if I were certain I would probably make a post about my drive over to West Branch today, and how I went by myself, and how it was a really nice drive, and how as a way of getting to go by myself without hurting a certain person with the initials M and B feelings I had to promise to buy her a present, and this weighed heavy on my mind, but it shouldn't have as you shall see if you keep reading the post I decided not to make, but am making anyway.
So, when I got to West Branch I stopped at the Walgreen's drugstore first, and I really like the Walgreen's drugstore because they always have good sales and great clearance items, and today I bought 4 bottles of two liter Pepsi for three dollars with a coupon, which would be a sale and not a clearance, and I also bought a "As Seen On TV" men's personal groomer which could be used to trim unwanted nose hair or back hair, or for more mundane tasks such as trimming your beard or mustache, and the best part was it was marked down from $9.99 to $2.00, and that would be a clearance item as opposed to a sale item, oh, and I almost bought a battery operated Spiderman toothbrush by either Crest or Colgate, and I would have bought it for myself, because it was marked down to $2.00 from, I don't know, 7 or 8 dollars, and I would have felt no embarrassment at using it, and I even had it in my shopping cart, but after making a couple of runs through the store I put it back in the clearance bin because it too was a clearance item and not a sale item, and I don't regret not buying it, but it would have been a nice conversation starter if anyone were to ever barge into my bathroom while I was brushing my teeth, which was unlikely, but possible.
Then I went to the Dollar General to buy some Dollar General brand Depends for MB, and I briefly considered making this the gift that I had promised to buy MB, but ...
I didn't, because, seriously, who would want to get disposable underwear as a present, well???
Then I went to the Family Dollar and walked around, and I almost bought some shaving gel that had been marked down from $1.50 to seventy five cents, but wait, I had almost bought the shaving gel at the Dollar General, which is like the Family Dollar, but isn't, and there was nothing I even considered buying from the Family Dollar, so I left still presentless for MB, and nothing for myself either, oh wait, the personal groomer was for me, and see, that's why I decided against making this post that I am now making because I'm disremembering stuff the way it actually happened.
My next stop was the Evil Empire, and not only am I disrembering, I am also getting bored, so I will cut this short ... er, and just say I got MB two jars of Udderly Smooth, the stuff they use on cow's udders when they start to crack, but I think this is a little bit different, but anyway, MB uses it like cold cream to cleanse her face, and she might use it on her udders too, but let's not go there.
By now I was hungry and I stopped at the BK for a burger and fries and a king size diet Coke, and I got the burger free because I called the number on the back of the receipt and took a survey, but it wasn't free ... free, it was free with the purchase of any size fries and any size drink, and I got the king size drink so I would have something to drink on the 40 mile drive back home, and it was actually a free re-fill of the king size drink I drank on the way home.
Oh, yeah, after I left BK the sign at the fruit market said they had grapes on sale, and I was going to stop and get some grapes, and I did stop to get some grapes, but the grapes didn't look all that good, so I got a head of cauliflower, and a bunch of broccoli, which were both on sale, the cauliflower was $1.99 a head, and the broccoli was 89 cents a bunch, and that's it, no wait, I disremembered again, I also got MB some tomatoes from the clearance counter, and this was a really good deal, there were four BIG tomatoes for 99 cents, and they weren't damaged or anything, they were just kind of ripe, but hey, a little ripeness never hurt anyone.
Then I drove home without incident, and when I got home MB was overjoyed with her two gifts, the two gifts being, in case you disremembered, the Udderly Smooth and the tomatoes, and now I am going to bed before I think of anything else that might, or might not have happened on my trip to West Branch today, or technically, my trip to West Branch yesterday.
So, when I got to West Branch I stopped at the Walgreen's drugstore first, and I really like the Walgreen's drugstore because they always have good sales and great clearance items, and today I bought 4 bottles of two liter Pepsi for three dollars with a coupon, which would be a sale and not a clearance, and I also bought a "As Seen On TV" men's personal groomer which could be used to trim unwanted nose hair or back hair, or for more mundane tasks such as trimming your beard or mustache, and the best part was it was marked down from $9.99 to $2.00, and that would be a clearance item as opposed to a sale item, oh, and I almost bought a battery operated Spiderman toothbrush by either Crest or Colgate, and I would have bought it for myself, because it was marked down to $2.00 from, I don't know, 7 or 8 dollars, and I would have felt no embarrassment at using it, and I even had it in my shopping cart, but after making a couple of runs through the store I put it back in the clearance bin because it too was a clearance item and not a sale item, and I don't regret not buying it, but it would have been a nice conversation starter if anyone were to ever barge into my bathroom while I was brushing my teeth, which was unlikely, but possible.
Then I went to the Dollar General to buy some Dollar General brand Depends for MB, and I briefly considered making this the gift that I had promised to buy MB, but ...
I didn't, because, seriously, who would want to get disposable underwear as a present, well???
Then I went to the Family Dollar and walked around, and I almost bought some shaving gel that had been marked down from $1.50 to seventy five cents, but wait, I had almost bought the shaving gel at the Dollar General, which is like the Family Dollar, but isn't, and there was nothing I even considered buying from the Family Dollar, so I left still presentless for MB, and nothing for myself either, oh wait, the personal groomer was for me, and see, that's why I decided against making this post that I am now making because I'm disremembering stuff the way it actually happened.
My next stop was the Evil Empire, and not only am I disrembering, I am also getting bored, so I will cut this short ... er, and just say I got MB two jars of Udderly Smooth, the stuff they use on cow's udders when they start to crack, but I think this is a little bit different, but anyway, MB uses it like cold cream to cleanse her face, and she might use it on her udders too, but let's not go there.
By now I was hungry and I stopped at the BK for a burger and fries and a king size diet Coke, and I got the burger free because I called the number on the back of the receipt and took a survey, but it wasn't free ... free, it was free with the purchase of any size fries and any size drink, and I got the king size drink so I would have something to drink on the 40 mile drive back home, and it was actually a free re-fill of the king size drink I drank on the way home.
Oh, yeah, after I left BK the sign at the fruit market said they had grapes on sale, and I was going to stop and get some grapes, and I did stop to get some grapes, but the grapes didn't look all that good, so I got a head of cauliflower, and a bunch of broccoli, which were both on sale, the cauliflower was $1.99 a head, and the broccoli was 89 cents a bunch, and that's it, no wait, I disremembered again, I also got MB some tomatoes from the clearance counter, and this was a really good deal, there were four BIG tomatoes for 99 cents, and they weren't damaged or anything, they were just kind of ripe, but hey, a little ripeness never hurt anyone.
Then I drove home without incident, and when I got home MB was overjoyed with her two gifts, the two gifts being, in case you disremembered, the Udderly Smooth and the tomatoes, and now I am going to bed before I think of anything else that might, or might not have happened on my trip to West Branch today, or technically, my trip to West Branch yesterday.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Another blast from the past
The infamous Wesley From Across The Street halfway through his six month tour in the navy that should have been a six year tour in the navy, but hey, that's just the way WFATS ran.
OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT
OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT OBVIOUS FAKE MUSTACHE ALERT
The story of the four Zunes at 1:37 am when I am half asleep
Zune #1
I bought Zune #1 in mid-March at the Evil Empire for what I thought was a fair price, fair in the sense that it was as least as cheap as I had seen it anywhere online when you factored in S&H. I loved Zune #1. I loved Zune #1 as much as anyone could love anything that can't love you back. I uploaded songs to Zune #1, and Zune #1 played them back for me. Yes, Zune #1 and me were a match made in heaven, or so I thought ...
Zune #2
In early April while at another discount chain that ended in Mart but started with K I saw that they had Zune's on sale for thirty dollars cheaper than what I had paid for my beloved Zune #1, and this irked me to no end, because as most of you who care know I hate to pay more than the lowest price for anything, and this doesn't mean that I am cheap or that I buy shoddy merchandise, it just means that I like to get the best I can for the lowest price that I can, and seriously, is there anything wrong with that. So, after leaving the Mart of the K I stopped at the King of the Burger for a diet Coke and an order of some serious soul searching. I mean, thirty dollars is thirty dollars, and and and, I wanted that extra thirty dollars more than I wanted red blood coursing through my veins, and while walking up to get a refill on my diet Coke it hit me. Go back to the Mart of the K and buy Zune #2 for thirty dollars less, take it home and put it in the box that Zune #1 came in, and then take it back to the Evil Empire, along with my sales receipt, and get a refund. So are you with me on this? I kept Zune #1 that I loved with all my heart, and took Zune #2, that I had purchased from the Mart of the K, and returned it to the Evil Empire for my refund, and that was the end of Zune #2, which I never got to really know, but I am sure that if I had I would have loved it almost as much as I loved Zune #1, and I would have been happy with Zune #1 for ever, and ever, and ever except that ...
Zune #3
I dropped Zune #1 while putting it into it's velour-like travel pouch, and I cried, and I cried, and I cried, but only metaphysically speaking, because I would never actually cry over a Zune be it #1, #2, #3 or #1,800,764. So, I got the receipt from the Mart of the K which was for Zune #2 and not Zune #1, because, remember I had used the receipt for Zune #1 when I took Zune #2 to the Evil Empire, and I took Zune #1 to the Mart of the K and told them that Zune #1 was malfunctioning and that I would like a replacement, of course I left out the part about why it was malfunctioning, and they said, sure, no problem, whatever, here's a new Zune, please take it, and live long and prosper, and thus Zune #3 came into my life. Zune #3 was eager to please and we soon developed a relationship that was almost as close as the relationship I had with Zune #1, almost as close, but only on a platonic level. I bought things for Zune #3. I bought it an aluminum case. I bought it a silicone case. I bought it an arm band to use with the silicone case for when I exercised. And ... I bought it a generic wall charger which ... fucked up the Zune #3 the first time I used it.
Ok, now, I no this is getting long and drawn out, but hey, quit reading whenever you like, it's not like I'm forcing you or anything, I just wish I could quit, but no, I have to keep writing, and writing, and writing, until the end, so fuck you very much, but seriously, I'm getting bored as well as tired, so let's just say that I was afraid to take Zune #3 back to the Mart of the K, so instead I contacted Zune through their 800 number and told them the truth, or at least most of the truth. I told them that Zune #3 had gotten fucked up when I tried to charge it up, and the Zune synching cable must have been the fucker upper, and that it probably bent some of the prongs of the docking thingie thing. So the Zune Customer Service Lady said no problem-o, she said that they'd send me a new cable, and that I could keep the old cable, which by the way, had nothing to do with fucking up Zune #3, because, remember it was the generic cable that fucked up #3, and where was I??? The Zune Lady told me that they would send me a pre-paid packing box for Zune #3 and I was to return Zune #3 in said pre-paid packing box and they would repair ... or replace Zune #3 at no charge, well, at no charge because it was still under warranty. Then on Thursday UPS dropped off a package from Zune, and I was so excited because even though I didn't love Zune #3 like I had loved Zune #1, I still had these feelings for Zune #3, and then I opened the box and ...
Zune #4
They hadn't repaired Zune #3, they had replaced Zune #3 with Zune #4, and that is where we stand at this very moment, and quite frankly, I am a little worried about committing wholeheartedly to Zune #4, because I have been hurt before, so let's just wait and see what transpires.
Addendum: While running spellcheck the word heartedly came back as a misspelling, but fuck it, spellcheck has been wrong before, and I am about to crash and burn, so, so nothing. Oh wait, wholeheartedly is one word, not two. Please disregard the addendum
I bought Zune #1 in mid-March at the Evil Empire for what I thought was a fair price, fair in the sense that it was as least as cheap as I had seen it anywhere online when you factored in S&H. I loved Zune #1. I loved Zune #1 as much as anyone could love anything that can't love you back. I uploaded songs to Zune #1, and Zune #1 played them back for me. Yes, Zune #1 and me were a match made in heaven, or so I thought ...
Zune #2
In early April while at another discount chain that ended in Mart but started with K I saw that they had Zune's on sale for thirty dollars cheaper than what I had paid for my beloved Zune #1, and this irked me to no end, because as most of you who care know I hate to pay more than the lowest price for anything, and this doesn't mean that I am cheap or that I buy shoddy merchandise, it just means that I like to get the best I can for the lowest price that I can, and seriously, is there anything wrong with that. So, after leaving the Mart of the K I stopped at the King of the Burger for a diet Coke and an order of some serious soul searching. I mean, thirty dollars is thirty dollars, and and and, I wanted that extra thirty dollars more than I wanted red blood coursing through my veins, and while walking up to get a refill on my diet Coke it hit me. Go back to the Mart of the K and buy Zune #2 for thirty dollars less, take it home and put it in the box that Zune #1 came in, and then take it back to the Evil Empire, along with my sales receipt, and get a refund. So are you with me on this? I kept Zune #1 that I loved with all my heart, and took Zune #2, that I had purchased from the Mart of the K, and returned it to the Evil Empire for my refund, and that was the end of Zune #2, which I never got to really know, but I am sure that if I had I would have loved it almost as much as I loved Zune #1, and I would have been happy with Zune #1 for ever, and ever, and ever except that ...
Zune #3
I dropped Zune #1 while putting it into it's velour-like travel pouch, and I cried, and I cried, and I cried, but only metaphysically speaking, because I would never actually cry over a Zune be it #1, #2, #3 or #1,800,764. So, I got the receipt from the Mart of the K which was for Zune #2 and not Zune #1, because, remember I had used the receipt for Zune #1 when I took Zune #2 to the Evil Empire, and I took Zune #1 to the Mart of the K and told them that Zune #1 was malfunctioning and that I would like a replacement, of course I left out the part about why it was malfunctioning, and they said, sure, no problem, whatever, here's a new Zune, please take it, and live long and prosper, and thus Zune #3 came into my life. Zune #3 was eager to please and we soon developed a relationship that was almost as close as the relationship I had with Zune #1, almost as close, but only on a platonic level. I bought things for Zune #3. I bought it an aluminum case. I bought it a silicone case. I bought it an arm band to use with the silicone case for when I exercised. And ... I bought it a generic wall charger which ... fucked up the Zune #3 the first time I used it.
Ok, now, I no this is getting long and drawn out, but hey, quit reading whenever you like, it's not like I'm forcing you or anything, I just wish I could quit, but no, I have to keep writing, and writing, and writing, until the end, so fuck you very much, but seriously, I'm getting bored as well as tired, so let's just say that I was afraid to take Zune #3 back to the Mart of the K, so instead I contacted Zune through their 800 number and told them the truth, or at least most of the truth. I told them that Zune #3 had gotten fucked up when I tried to charge it up, and the Zune synching cable must have been the fucker upper, and that it probably bent some of the prongs of the docking thingie thing. So the Zune Customer Service Lady said no problem-o, she said that they'd send me a new cable, and that I could keep the old cable, which by the way, had nothing to do with fucking up Zune #3, because, remember it was the generic cable that fucked up #3, and where was I??? The Zune Lady told me that they would send me a pre-paid packing box for Zune #3 and I was to return Zune #3 in said pre-paid packing box and they would repair ... or replace Zune #3 at no charge, well, at no charge because it was still under warranty. Then on Thursday UPS dropped off a package from Zune, and I was so excited because even though I didn't love Zune #3 like I had loved Zune #1, I still had these feelings for Zune #3, and then I opened the box and ...
Zune #4
They hadn't repaired Zune #3, they had replaced Zune #3 with Zune #4, and that is where we stand at this very moment, and quite frankly, I am a little worried about committing wholeheartedly to Zune #4, because I have been hurt before, so let's just wait and see what transpires.
Addendum: While running spellcheck the word heartedly came back as a misspelling, but fuck it, spellcheck has been wrong before, and I am about to crash and burn, so, so nothing. Oh wait, wholeheartedly is one word, not two. Please disregard the addendum
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Me and my Zune in June
I'm just wasting time until Fried Green Tomatoes starts on Encore I think in a few minutes.
Speaking of movies, I just found out today from the cable company that Video On Demand starts tomorrow, or make that today because today is already yesterday.
I stopped at the doctor's office to pay a bill and the cute receptionist smiled at me which made me feel bad because I had been checking out her cleavage, which was only average, but it was cleavage, and average cleavage is better than no cleavage at all, or as Shakespeare once said, or it might have been the guy who played the professor in my Debra Messing dream who once said, it is better to have cleaved and lost than never to have cleaved at all.
And how was your day?
I just got my zune back from the zune repair guys today, and they didn't repair it, they sent me a new zune, and that makes it the fourth zune that I have had in my possession since I got my first zune in March, followed by my second and third zune in April, and their is a story behind each and every zune that I have possessed, and maybe, just maybe, one day I will post the story behind each and every zune, but not tonight, because FGT is about to start, and man, I love that movie, and I used to love it because of Mary Stuart Masterson, but now I love it because of Mary Louise Parker, and maybe one day I will love it because of Kathy Bates or Jessica Tandy, but let's hope not, and now ...
On with the show!
Speaking of movies, I just found out today from the cable company that Video On Demand starts tomorrow, or make that today because today is already yesterday.
I stopped at the doctor's office to pay a bill and the cute receptionist smiled at me which made me feel bad because I had been checking out her cleavage, which was only average, but it was cleavage, and average cleavage is better than no cleavage at all, or as Shakespeare once said, or it might have been the guy who played the professor in my Debra Messing dream who once said, it is better to have cleaved and lost than never to have cleaved at all.
And how was your day?
I just got my zune back from the zune repair guys today, and they didn't repair it, they sent me a new zune, and that makes it the fourth zune that I have had in my possession since I got my first zune in March, followed by my second and third zune in April, and their is a story behind each and every zune that I have possessed, and maybe, just maybe, one day I will post the story behind each and every zune, but not tonight, because FGT is about to start, and man, I love that movie, and I used to love it because of Mary Stuart Masterson, but now I love it because of Mary Louise Parker, and maybe one day I will love it because of Kathy Bates or Jessica Tandy, but let's hope not, and now ...
On with the show!
Friday, June 01, 2007
My lost weekend took place in the middle of the week this time
I had a dream about Debra Messing the other night, or at least it was someone who reminded me a lot of Debra Messing, and I mean Debra Messing the actress not Debra Messing the sex phone operator, unless they are both the same person, which in that case someone has been lying to me for a long long time.
Anyway, I had this dream about Debra Messing, and in this dream I was in college, so you know the dream had to take place a long time ago, and I was in college, and I had just transferred into a new English class from an old English class during mid-semester, and the two English classes didn't have matching courses of study so I was lost very lost, and because of my lostness I had an attitude problem where I gave the professor a hard time, because I knew he was going to give me a hard time, because I had a reputation as being a bad attitude on campus sort of guy, and I wanted to give him attitude before he gave me attitude, and there we were at some kind of academic stale mate, when all of a sudden Debra Messing, remember her, yeah, Debra Messing walks into the class, right up to the front of the class and she is all emotional and fighting back tears, and she starts talking about how she always picks the wrong type of man, and that all the good man are either taken, or they aren't interested in her, and yeah, I knew Debra Messing was talking about me, because, well, let's face it, in this dream I was all any woman could ever want, and yeah, Debra Messing is now in a full blown weep fest and she is telling about how rotten her life is, with all her different maladies, both real and imagined, and I think the cancer of the knee cap was one of the imagined maladies, but that's only me, and still Debra Messing is going on and on, and all I could do was shut my eyes and shake my head, because seriously Debra Messing is going through an emotional melt down what with all her bad choices concerning men, concerning men who were not me, and all her other bad choices in life that didn't include me, and right about now I am feeling like something BIG is going to happen, like Debra Messing is going to come after me with a big knife or a hand grenade, or maybe Debra Messing is planning another Columbine type thing here, because Debra Messing has always told me who much she admires Michael Moore, and also how much she enjoys killing innocent people, and how flowing blood, lots of flowing blood has always mesmerised her, and wheeeeeeeeeeew, this post about Debra Messing has already lasted longer than the actual dream about Debra Messing, but let's go on until we finish it, ok.
So, the professor asks if anyone knows who this weeping crying girl was, I mean it was obvious it was Debra Messing, but it was a dream, and I suppose he had to ask, and when he asked I just sort of looked away and put on my best I have no idea who this is even though it is obvious it is Debra Messing face, and when no one answers the professor just sort escorts Debra Messing out of the class room and when he comes back he says that was the most pathetic display he had ever seen, and everyone agreed with him, even me, which made me feel bad because ... well, it was Debra Messing, and I knew Debra Messing, and she was a friend, a psycho friend, but a friend nonetheless, and after everyone settled down, and the professor went back to his lecture, I couldn't stop thinking about Debra Messing and her cry for help, and yes, I knew that her cry for help was directed at me, so I figured after class ended I'd better go looking for Debra Messing and see if there was anything I could do to help, and that's what I did when class finally did end, I left the class room fully intending to look for Debra Messing, but when I got outside I was no longer in college, I was in South Korea, just outside of some amusement park hanging around with Hawkeye and Trapper John, no, not Trapper John, the guy who took Trapper John's place, that's right it was BJ, and we were going to go to the amusement park and ride the roller coaster till we puked, and then we were going to go get laid, and probably catch the clap, but not from Debra Messing because she was nowhere in sight.
The End
Anyway, I had this dream about Debra Messing, and in this dream I was in college, so you know the dream had to take place a long time ago, and I was in college, and I had just transferred into a new English class from an old English class during mid-semester, and the two English classes didn't have matching courses of study so I was lost very lost, and because of my lostness I had an attitude problem where I gave the professor a hard time, because I knew he was going to give me a hard time, because I had a reputation as being a bad attitude on campus sort of guy, and I wanted to give him attitude before he gave me attitude, and there we were at some kind of academic stale mate, when all of a sudden Debra Messing, remember her, yeah, Debra Messing walks into the class, right up to the front of the class and she is all emotional and fighting back tears, and she starts talking about how she always picks the wrong type of man, and that all the good man are either taken, or they aren't interested in her, and yeah, I knew Debra Messing was talking about me, because, well, let's face it, in this dream I was all any woman could ever want, and yeah, Debra Messing is now in a full blown weep fest and she is telling about how rotten her life is, with all her different maladies, both real and imagined, and I think the cancer of the knee cap was one of the imagined maladies, but that's only me, and still Debra Messing is going on and on, and all I could do was shut my eyes and shake my head, because seriously Debra Messing is going through an emotional melt down what with all her bad choices concerning men, concerning men who were not me, and all her other bad choices in life that didn't include me, and right about now I am feeling like something BIG is going to happen, like Debra Messing is going to come after me with a big knife or a hand grenade, or maybe Debra Messing is planning another Columbine type thing here, because Debra Messing has always told me who much she admires Michael Moore, and also how much she enjoys killing innocent people, and how flowing blood, lots of flowing blood has always mesmerised her, and wheeeeeeeeeeew, this post about Debra Messing has already lasted longer than the actual dream about Debra Messing, but let's go on until we finish it, ok.
So, the professor asks if anyone knows who this weeping crying girl was, I mean it was obvious it was Debra Messing, but it was a dream, and I suppose he had to ask, and when he asked I just sort of looked away and put on my best I have no idea who this is even though it is obvious it is Debra Messing face, and when no one answers the professor just sort escorts Debra Messing out of the class room and when he comes back he says that was the most pathetic display he had ever seen, and everyone agreed with him, even me, which made me feel bad because ... well, it was Debra Messing, and I knew Debra Messing, and she was a friend, a psycho friend, but a friend nonetheless, and after everyone settled down, and the professor went back to his lecture, I couldn't stop thinking about Debra Messing and her cry for help, and yes, I knew that her cry for help was directed at me, so I figured after class ended I'd better go looking for Debra Messing and see if there was anything I could do to help, and that's what I did when class finally did end, I left the class room fully intending to look for Debra Messing, but when I got outside I was no longer in college, I was in South Korea, just outside of some amusement park hanging around with Hawkeye and Trapper John, no, not Trapper John, the guy who took Trapper John's place, that's right it was BJ, and we were going to go to the amusement park and ride the roller coaster till we puked, and then we were going to go get laid, and probably catch the clap, but not from Debra Messing because she was nowhere in sight.
The End
Saturday, May 26, 2007
It's too late to do any good, but here it is anyway.
Things that I want
1. I want a monkey sippy cup but only because it rightfully belongs to me.
2. I want an ink pen that I can write in the dark with so I can write in the dark and see what I'm writing in the dark.
3. I want a dictionary of all the words that I know the spelling and meanings of so I can impress people while not really knowing anything.
4. More hair on my head but only on parts where it isn't growing, and also on my legs, because there is very little, and I hate it when people bring it up.
5. An end to world peace and more hunger throughout the world.
6. Tap shoes because even though I can't ... I was born to dance.
7. I want a list of names of all the girls and women who didn't tell me that they had crushes on me when I was too dumb to realize that they did.
8. Some other stuff, but I'm getting very sleepy and tired and you know my mind is starting to wander and stuff, and maybe I should end this list at eight instead of the usual ten.
9. A new letter of the alphabet named after me or maybe they could just change the letter z to the letter boz. That would be okay with me.
10. To be the bozziest boz of all the boz's anywhere, any time, and any place, except in the Maritime provinces of Canada.
1. I want a monkey sippy cup but only because it rightfully belongs to me.
2. I want an ink pen that I can write in the dark with so I can write in the dark and see what I'm writing in the dark.
3. I want a dictionary of all the words that I know the spelling and meanings of so I can impress people while not really knowing anything.
4. More hair on my head but only on parts where it isn't growing, and also on my legs, because there is very little, and I hate it when people bring it up.
5. An end to world peace and more hunger throughout the world.
6. Tap shoes because even though I can't ... I was born to dance.
7. I want a list of names of all the girls and women who didn't tell me that they had crushes on me when I was too dumb to realize that they did.
8. Some other stuff, but I'm getting very sleepy and tired and you know my mind is starting to wander and stuff, and maybe I should end this list at eight instead of the usual ten.
9. A new letter of the alphabet named after me or maybe they could just change the letter z to the letter boz. That would be okay with me.
10. To be the bozziest boz of all the boz's anywhere, any time, and any place, except in the Maritime provinces of Canada.
Friday, May 25, 2007
The start of another short story I will never complete. Assuaging Fears
Mildred, is that you?
Yes, it's me.
But your name isn't Mildred, it's Merle.
Yes, I know.
Then why did you answer when I called your Mildred?
Because the 911 manual says we should try to assuage any fears that a caller might have.
But I'm not afraid.
Then why did you call 911?
Good question.
Thank you, I scored a 90% on the question asking part of the 911 Operators Exam.
Is that a good score?
Yes, it was the second highest score in my class.
Who scored the highest?
Some woman named Mildred.
Maybe that's why you answered when I called you Mildred. Maybe it was some kind of Freudian response.
Or it could have been Jungian.
Yes, I meant to say Jungian.
I wonder what Freud would say about that?
I'm more concerned about what Jung would say about it.
What did the manual say?
I don't know, I was on break, I haven't had a chance to look at the manual.
You took a break in the middle of a 911 call?
Yes, I had no choice it's a union regulation.
I wish I belonged to a union like that.
So do I.
You aren't a member of the union?
No, I haven't been a 911 operator long enough to join the union.
How long have you been a 911 operator.
Counting today?
Yes, counting today.
One day.
One day?
Yes, one day. As a matter of fact, you are my first call.
That might explain why you have to check the manual so often.
Yes, that might explain it.
What else could possibly explain it?
I don't know. I'm new here. Let me check the manual. Please hold.
Yes, it's me.
But your name isn't Mildred, it's Merle.
Yes, I know.
Then why did you answer when I called your Mildred?
Because the 911 manual says we should try to assuage any fears that a caller might have.
But I'm not afraid.
Then why did you call 911?
Good question.
Thank you, I scored a 90% on the question asking part of the 911 Operators Exam.
Is that a good score?
Yes, it was the second highest score in my class.
Who scored the highest?
Some woman named Mildred.
Maybe that's why you answered when I called you Mildred. Maybe it was some kind of Freudian response.
Or it could have been Jungian.
Yes, I meant to say Jungian.
I wonder what Freud would say about that?
I'm more concerned about what Jung would say about it.
What did the manual say?
I don't know, I was on break, I haven't had a chance to look at the manual.
You took a break in the middle of a 911 call?
Yes, I had no choice it's a union regulation.
I wish I belonged to a union like that.
So do I.
You aren't a member of the union?
No, I haven't been a 911 operator long enough to join the union.
How long have you been a 911 operator.
Counting today?
Yes, counting today.
One day.
One day?
Yes, one day. As a matter of fact, you are my first call.
That might explain why you have to check the manual so often.
Yes, that might explain it.
What else could possibly explain it?
I don't know. I'm new here. Let me check the manual. Please hold.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
And as always the voice of my conscience was played by Frank Sinatra, is that how you spell conscience?
Psssst, hey Boz, you there?
Uhhh, yeah. Hold on, I just got an email.
Ok, sure.
Back.
Who was the email from?
No one, it was spam. So, what do you want?
Nothing much, I was just wondering what you've been doing lately.
Hmmmm, well, I've been reading a lot. I'm on my fourth book this month. I think this month.
Oh yeah, I read your posts about the first three. What are you reading now?
I'm reading Closing Time by Joesph Heller.
He's the guy who wrote Catch-22 isn't he?
Yeah, he did. This is a sequel written in perspective some 35 to 40 years later.
Do you even know what perspective means?
No, but it makes that sentence flow, doesn't it.
I suppose so. What else is going on?
Wait a second. Don't you want to hear about the book I'm reading?
Ummm, yeah, I guess so.
Let's see, belle sent it to me because she felt guilty about sending me a copy of Catch-22 that she had written in and highlighted.
Belle?
Yeah, you know belle, the hypochondriac who used to have a blog and sort of disappeared who only shows up every once in awhile to tell me what she had for lunch and that she is sure she is about to die from eye cancer, or knee cancer, or ear cancer, or that blood is flowing out of some orifice in her body that usually isn't associated with blood flow.
Oh, that belle. Go on.
Go on where?
Go on telling me about the book that belle sent you.
That's it, I'm done.
I thought you were going to review the book.
Why would I do that?
Are you actually reading the book?
No, not right at this minute, but I was reading it a half hour ago. Yossarian and his son are talking about Dante, and that was kind of boring, so I put it down, and watched a French movie for about five minutes, and then I came in here, hahaha, came in here ... NOT!!!
Anything else?
Anything else what???
Are you doing anything else that might be interesting.
I started another diet. JESUS FUCK!!!
What happened???
The wind just blew my bedroom door shut and it scared the Jesus Fuck out of me.
You say fuck a lot, don't you.
I write it more than I say it. I usually only say it when I'm alone.
If you say fuck while you're alone are you actually saying it?
Huh? Oh, if a tree falls in the woods yadda yadda yadda, I get it.
I'm going to go check out the basketball game on Channel 73. I'll catch you later.
Hey ...
What???
Nothing.
Later then.
(Hmmmm, I wonder where Boz keeps all his good porn.)
Uhhh, yeah. Hold on, I just got an email.
Ok, sure.
Back.
Who was the email from?
No one, it was spam. So, what do you want?
Nothing much, I was just wondering what you've been doing lately.
Hmmmm, well, I've been reading a lot. I'm on my fourth book this month. I think this month.
Oh yeah, I read your posts about the first three. What are you reading now?
I'm reading Closing Time by Joesph Heller.
He's the guy who wrote Catch-22 isn't he?
Yeah, he did. This is a sequel written in perspective some 35 to 40 years later.
Do you even know what perspective means?
No, but it makes that sentence flow, doesn't it.
I suppose so. What else is going on?
Wait a second. Don't you want to hear about the book I'm reading?
Ummm, yeah, I guess so.
Let's see, belle sent it to me because she felt guilty about sending me a copy of Catch-22 that she had written in and highlighted.
Belle?
Yeah, you know belle, the hypochondriac who used to have a blog and sort of disappeared who only shows up every once in awhile to tell me what she had for lunch and that she is sure she is about to die from eye cancer, or knee cancer, or ear cancer, or that blood is flowing out of some orifice in her body that usually isn't associated with blood flow.
Oh, that belle. Go on.
Go on where?
Go on telling me about the book that belle sent you.
That's it, I'm done.
I thought you were going to review the book.
Why would I do that?
Are you actually reading the book?
No, not right at this minute, but I was reading it a half hour ago. Yossarian and his son are talking about Dante, and that was kind of boring, so I put it down, and watched a French movie for about five minutes, and then I came in here, hahaha, came in here ... NOT!!!
Anything else?
Anything else what???
Are you doing anything else that might be interesting.
I started another diet. JESUS FUCK!!!
What happened???
The wind just blew my bedroom door shut and it scared the Jesus Fuck out of me.
You say fuck a lot, don't you.
I write it more than I say it. I usually only say it when I'm alone.
If you say fuck while you're alone are you actually saying it?
Huh? Oh, if a tree falls in the woods yadda yadda yadda, I get it.
I'm going to go check out the basketball game on Channel 73. I'll catch you later.
Hey ...
What???
Nothing.
Later then.
(Hmmmm, I wonder where Boz keeps all his good porn.)
The start of another short story I will never complete. The Shorter of the Two Men
The shorter of the two men was wearing khaki work pants and boots.
He was not wearing a shirt and he was very tan.
He kept yelling at the taller of the two men, but I couldn't make out what he was yelling because my bedroom window was closed.
I considered getting up and opening the window, but I thought they might stop if they heard me, and how would I explain that to Merle the 911 operator.
Just then I heard someone on the other end of the phone.
He was not wearing a shirt and he was very tan.
He kept yelling at the taller of the two men, but I couldn't make out what he was yelling because my bedroom window was closed.
I considered getting up and opening the window, but I thought they might stop if they heard me, and how would I explain that to Merle the 911 operator.
Just then I heard someone on the other end of the phone.
Hey, it's not like that, I've got something in my eye ... honest.
I have a confession to make.
I just finished watching the movie Boys on the Side with Whoppi Goldberg, Mary Louise Parker and Drew Barrymore.
No, the confession isn't that I watched the movie.
The confession I have to make is ...
I almost ...
I kind of ...
I sort of ...
Ok, I might have teared up a little bit when Mary Louise Parker died.
I mean why does it always have to be Mary Louise Parker who dies?
Why couldn't it have been Whoppi Goldberg, I never liked Whoppi Goldberg, and to be honest with you, I almost didn't watch the movie because Whoppi Goldberg was in it, and if it had been Whoppi Goldberg who died, it wouldn't have phased me a bit, and maybe if it had been Drew Barrymore that died, well, I'm sure I would have gotten sad at least until the closing credits had finished rolling, but I would have gotten over it, but ...
WHY WHY WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE MARY LOUISE PARKER WHO HAS TO DIE???
I think I'll go to bed now, and pretend that Mary Louise Parker didn't die, and that we met at a party somewhere, and our eyes met, and there was a certain spark, and we fell in love, and got married, or at least decided to live together, and then we lived happily ever after with neither of us ever dying again.
Mary Louise Parker, hopefully not dying.
I just finished watching the movie Boys on the Side with Whoppi Goldberg, Mary Louise Parker and Drew Barrymore.
No, the confession isn't that I watched the movie.
The confession I have to make is ...
I almost ...
I kind of ...
I sort of ...
Ok, I might have teared up a little bit when Mary Louise Parker died.
I mean why does it always have to be Mary Louise Parker who dies?
Why couldn't it have been Whoppi Goldberg, I never liked Whoppi Goldberg, and to be honest with you, I almost didn't watch the movie because Whoppi Goldberg was in it, and if it had been Whoppi Goldberg who died, it wouldn't have phased me a bit, and maybe if it had been Drew Barrymore that died, well, I'm sure I would have gotten sad at least until the closing credits had finished rolling, but I would have gotten over it, but ...
WHY WHY WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE MARY LOUISE PARKER WHO HAS TO DIE???
I think I'll go to bed now, and pretend that Mary Louise Parker didn't die, and that we met at a party somewhere, and our eyes met, and there was a certain spark, and we fell in love, and got married, or at least decided to live together, and then we lived happily ever after with neither of us ever dying again.
Mary Louise Parker, hopefully not dying.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Iri my dearie
Kat forwarded this email to me.
The email
Good day, my gentleman
Do you agree with me that love is like a good wine which you want to drink more and more? I am in search of my second half who will enjoy this love-drink with me the whole life. I found you here and would not like to lose you again.
I know that we are strangers for each other, but I want to believe that time will pass and we will become native souls for each other. If you are single at present time and your heart is free, if you believe in our future love, I will wait for your letter every day http://feelthislove.com/flirtyards
Waiting for your response
Iri
My response
Good day my email hotness,
I think that love is more like a six pack of Budwiser, the more you drink the more you want and when you wake up you swear you will never do it again. I know what you are thinking, and yes, I am a poet.
Ooooh, I want to taste of your love-drink until I cannot hold my breath for any longer than another second or two.
We are only strangers until we are not strangers anymore and our native souls meld into a nice gooey heap of love.
Yes oh yes my darling Iri, my heart is free, and so is my throbbing nine and a half inch organ.
Wait no more, my response is on it's way.
Your soon to be native soul
Milo Minderbender II
The email
Good day, my gentleman
Do you agree with me that love is like a good wine which you want to drink more and more? I am in search of my second half who will enjoy this love-drink with me the whole life. I found you here and would not like to lose you again.
I know that we are strangers for each other, but I want to believe that time will pass and we will become native souls for each other. If you are single at present time and your heart is free, if you believe in our future love, I will wait for your letter every day http://feelthislove.com/flirtyards
Waiting for your response
Iri
My response
Good day my email hotness,
I think that love is more like a six pack of Budwiser, the more you drink the more you want and when you wake up you swear you will never do it again. I know what you are thinking, and yes, I am a poet.
Ooooh, I want to taste of your love-drink until I cannot hold my breath for any longer than another second or two.
We are only strangers until we are not strangers anymore and our native souls meld into a nice gooey heap of love.
Yes oh yes my darling Iri, my heart is free, and so is my throbbing nine and a half inch organ.
Wait no more, my response is on it's way.
Your soon to be native soul
Milo Minderbender II
The start of another short story I will never complete. The Taller of the Two Men
I turned my attention back to the two men fighting in the street outside my bedroom window.
They both looked to be in their mid-thirties.
They were old enough that they should have know better.
They were young enough that they thought they still should.
I didn't recognize either of them.
The taller of the two men was thin and pale with sandy brown hair.
He was wearing a powder blue t-shirt and a pair of what we used to call gym shorts.
He was also wearing the gaudiest pair of yellow running shoes that I had ever seen.
He looked like he could of have been any of the myriad number of joggers that used the street outside my bedroom window as part of their approximately five mile jogging route that took them around the lake and back into town every weekend morning, afternoon, and early evening.
He was definitely a tourist.
They both looked to be in their mid-thirties.
They were old enough that they should have know better.
They were young enough that they thought they still should.
I didn't recognize either of them.
The taller of the two men was thin and pale with sandy brown hair.
He was wearing a powder blue t-shirt and a pair of what we used to call gym shorts.
He was also wearing the gaudiest pair of yellow running shoes that I had ever seen.
He looked like he could of have been any of the myriad number of joggers that used the street outside my bedroom window as part of their approximately five mile jogging route that took them around the lake and back into town every weekend morning, afternoon, and early evening.
He was definitely a tourist.
The start of another short story I will never complete. A Fait Accompli
He knew he was in love as soon as she said she was much to pretty to be a lesbian.
To be more precise, he knew he was in love as soon as she asked him to please hold the first time.
He knew that some things were just a fait accompli, and this had been one of them.
Merle?
Merle?
Merle, are you there?
Yes, I'm here.
Merle.
Yes, can I help you?
Merle, may I have your phone number?
You already have my phone number.
I do?
Yes, you do silly. It's 9-1-1. Remember you called me.
Oh, that's right, I did call you.
I thought you did. I mean why would I call you. You were the one with a problem, not me.
Yes, I did call you. It was about the two men fighting in the street outside my bedroom window, wasn't it?
No, it's about the two men that we're assuming were fighting outside your bedroom window.
Of course, how could I have forgotten?
Is that a question or are you just musing?
It was a rhetorical question.
Should I answer it then?
No, rhetorical questions don't require answers.
I wasn't sure. Rhetorical questions aren't covered in the manual.
Are you sure?
I thought I was sure. Let me check one more time to make sure that I am sure.
Should I hold?
Yes, I'm going to check my manual, please hold.
To be more precise, he knew he was in love as soon as she asked him to please hold the first time.
He knew that some things were just a fait accompli, and this had been one of them.
Merle?
Merle?
Merle, are you there?
Yes, I'm here.
Merle.
Yes, can I help you?
Merle, may I have your phone number?
You already have my phone number.
I do?
Yes, you do silly. It's 9-1-1. Remember you called me.
Oh, that's right, I did call you.
I thought you did. I mean why would I call you. You were the one with a problem, not me.
Yes, I did call you. It was about the two men fighting in the street outside my bedroom window, wasn't it?
No, it's about the two men that we're assuming were fighting outside your bedroom window.
Of course, how could I have forgotten?
Is that a question or are you just musing?
It was a rhetorical question.
Should I answer it then?
No, rhetorical questions don't require answers.
I wasn't sure. Rhetorical questions aren't covered in the manual.
Are you sure?
I thought I was sure. Let me check one more time to make sure that I am sure.
Should I hold?
Yes, I'm going to check my manual, please hold.
In the summer of 69
A barely 19 year old Airman Boz pretending to shine his boots in the upper bay of barracks #2004, the 3392nd Student Squadron, Keesler AFB, Mississippi.
Here is a comment left on buzznet concerning this picture.
"Boz you were a hottie back in the day. I bet you stole all the hearts!"
Unfortunately for me the comment was made by one of my gay buzznet friends.
Here is a comment left on buzznet concerning this picture.
"Boz you were a hottie back in the day. I bet you stole all the hearts!"
Unfortunately for me the comment was made by one of my gay buzznet friends.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
If I knew what my ASL was do you think I'd be here?
What am I doing up at three in the morning?
My eyes are glazed over.
My ears are ringing.
My legs, my arms, my feet, me heels, my fingers, my torsos, my shoulders, my ears, I already said my ears, my nostrils, my bald spots, and my Grey's Anatomy's all hurt.
I'm hungry, so I'm going to bed, so that I won't break the diet that I've already broken once since I started it earlier tonight.
My eyes are glazed over.
My ears are ringing.
My legs, my arms, my feet, me heels, my fingers, my torsos, my shoulders, my ears, I already said my ears, my nostrils, my bald spots, and my Grey's Anatomy's all hurt.
I'm hungry, so I'm going to bed, so that I won't break the diet that I've already broken once since I started it earlier tonight.
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