I took a forty eight minute walk this morning and all I got was this sweat soaked t-shirt.

And I took a bike ride this evening and all I got was a bunch of those little flying bugs that you can hardly see until they get stuck in your teeth stuck in my teeth.

And I think I hurt one of my man parts on the bicycle seat.

And tomorrow is my birthday.

And all I can think about is my 13th birthday when I got a bike from my parents, which I liked, and a dual bicycle basket, that I didn't like, from my sister who was in Alaska and had ordered through Sears, and I asked my parents if I could return it for the money, which would have been about five dollars, which would have been a princely sum for a thirteen year old back in 1963, and my parents said they would return it for me, and they did, and when I asked for the money they said that Sears would send it to me, and I believed them because they were my parents, and I was thirteen years old and still naive in the ways of the world, and all summer I talked about what I was going to buy for myself with the five dollars as soon as I got it from Sears, I mean, at least once a day I told everyone my plans for what I was going to spend the money on, and then one day my dad and I picked my mother up from work, and I guess she had a hard day, and I guess she was tired, and I started in on my latest rant on how I was going to spend the money, and like I said my mother must have had a hard day, and she must have been tired, because all of a sudden she just turned and looked me straight in the eye in the back seat and said ...

Look, they gave us the money that day, and we spent it on clothes for you, clothes which you needed a damn sight more than you needed whatever the hell you planned on spending that money on. So that's it, there is no money, and I don't want to hear another word about it!

I was stunned into silence.
I didn't know what to do.
I wanted to cry, but I was thirteen years old and I kind of figured that wouldn't help.
I wanted to yell and curse at my parents and blame them for ruining my summer waiting for that fucking money that I now realized I would never see, but they were my parents, and if I had tried something like that they would have taken turns knocking the crap out of me for being such an ungrateful kid.

So, I remained silent.
I remained silent for at least a week.
It was the first guilt trip I ever laid on anybody, and it worked, and it felt good, but not as good as getting the five dollars would have felt, but I was thirteen, and what else could I do, and still ...
Still ...
After all these years I STILL get all bent out of shape whenever I think of ...
I mean they could have told me right away, and I would've gotten pissed, but I would have gotten over it, and after all these years I STILL get bent out of shape whenever I think of it.

Ok, fine, I'm going to go take a shower now, and while I'm at it I think I'll hide MB's Depends.