I mean it this time.

My cable provider just got Video On Demand so now I can watch whatever I want whenever I want and right now I am watching the Showtime Series Weeds starring Mary-Louise Parker and the chick who slept with Tom Hanks when Tom Hanks was really a kid in Tom Hanks body in the movie Big, she's Elizabeth something, but that's not important, and really none of this is important in the grand scheme of things, but, be that as it may, I am watching Weeds, and yeah, I started it watching it because of Mary hyphen Louise Parker, but it has turned into something oh so much more than just that.

It's funny that I should be hooked on a show about marijuana because I haven't smoked since Nixon was president, no wait, I haven't smoked since Reagan was president, and I'm almost positive I didn't smoke when Carter was president, except I might have smoked when the hostages were released, but yeah, the Iranians waited until Reagan was sworn in before they released the hostages, but I might have started smoking before the actual release, but ummm, no I haven't smoked since Nixon was president, except for when Reagan was president and borderline when Carter was president, and I think I might have smoked when Johnson was president, but it was most likely after the election in 68 and Johnson would have been a lame duck president, so maybe that doesn't count, but maybe it does count, and I'm not sure anyway, no wait, I am sure, but it was only once, or maybe twice, yeah, it was twice, and I am totally sure that I didn't smoke when Kennedy was president because I was only thirteen, and drugs hadn't been invented yet, and probably if they had I would have smoked when Kennedy was assassinated, but who could have blamed me, because that was a tragic time in the history of our great nation.

The End

Well, not the end, because I'm not ruling out that I will ever smoke again. I mean, what if I get glaucoma, or what if I fall in love with a hippie commune type chick who GROWS marijuana ... I mean, I'd just about have to smoke then, wouldn't I.