Why I haven't posted

1. I can't stop sneezing.
2. Ever since MB told me that the black guy on Walker Texas Ranger was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby I can't concentrate.
3. The bird that mocks me tells me I'm cool, and this puzzles me, because she continues to mock me.
4. MB also told me that Mr Olson from Little House on the Prairie is having an affair with our next door neighbor ... how can this be I tell myself.
5. Ok, MB also told me that when she was a little girl after they first moved to Detroit from Tennessee, and my grandfather worked the afternoon shift at Chevrolet, and they shared a house with my grandfather's half sister and her family, that was located next to a blind pig, and for you who don't know what a blind pig is it's an after hours drinking establishment usually located in a private residence and is very illegal but they usually paid protection money to the cops or the mob so they were safe, and yeah they lived next to a blind pig, and my grandfather worked the swing shift, and anyway, one night my mother, who was about five or six years old, wandered into my grandparent's bedroom, and remember my grandfather worked the swing shift, and anyway my mother wandered into their bedroom on the way to the bathroom, and she saw a man ... A MAN ... standing over the bed that my grandmother was sound asleep in, and my mother wasn't sure who the man was, but she thought it was my grandfather, who remember was at work, and my mother said "what are you doing home" and the man, who wasn't my grandfather, lit a match, and all my mother could see of the man, the man who obviously wandered over from the blind pig, was his big hairy arm, and I guess my mother frightened the man with the hairy arm, because he turned around brushed by my mother and left the house.
When my mother told my grandmother what she saw the next morning my grandmother downplayed it telling my mother that she must of dreamed it, but my grandmother always downplayed stuff that my mother told her, so my mother wasn't buying it, and later that day before my grandfather went to work, my mother could hear my grandparents talking in the kitchen, and my mother heard my grandmother say that whoever did it must have been the one who cut the hole in the screen door ...
Dun dun dun.
So there you have it, the honest to god truth, for the most part, story of how my mother prevented a possible sexual assault on my grandmother.
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