Boz's Homemade Broccoli Soup Right Out Of The Can On A Budget

You will need:
One can of Campbells Broccoli Soup for $1.19 a can at Carters.
One can of either Cream of Mushroom, Cream of Chicken, or Cream of Celery for fifty cents a can at the Dollar General or ...
One can of Cream of Mushroom, or Cream of Chicken for fifty cents a can from the Family Dollar.
I give you this option because the Family Dollar doesn't sell Cream of Celery, and I know a lot of you with a more esoteric palette will prefer the Cream of Celery.
And one bag of frozen broccoli for 99 cents from Save-a-Lot, where you actually do save a lot, and I guess that would be truth in advertising, which sadly we as a nation do not really have much of anymore, the truth in advertising I mean.
Yeah, you'll need milk too, but I'm assuming that you already have some of that.

So anyway, when you get home you take out the middle sized of the three pots that somebody gave you once a long time ago that you only use for making popcorn when you don't have any microwave popcorn and you can't find the popcorn maker that you put away when you discovered how much easier it was just to make microwave popcorn.

SAFETY TIP: Wipe the dust out of the pot, better yet, rinse it out, I mean the odds are astronomical against you getting any kind of disease from a dusty pot, but this is Soup on a Budget, so why take the chance of an expensive trip to the emergency room and all it entails.

Open the can of Campbells Cream of Broccoli, which by the way for your convenience has a lift off top, but at $1.19 a can it should.
Open the can of Cream of Whatever from the Dollar General or Family Dollar, yeah, you'll need a can opener for this, but with the fifty cents a can cost I think it is well worth it.
By the way, I use a hand operated can opener, not so much for the cost, but those fucking electric can openers mostly just kick my ass.

Mix the cans of soup together in the pot. You'll probably need a spatula to get all the creamy goodness out because the soup is really thick. If you don't have a spatula your finger, or the finger of a loved one will do.

Dump in two cans of milk, yeah, use the can the soup came out of, I know, I had a lot of trouble with that at first wondering where in the world I could find an empty can for the milk, use the soup can you moron!!!
When I say moron I am referring to myself, but if the shoe fits ...

Take a couple handfuls of the frozen broccoli, rip it into pieces and toss it in the pot, yeah, you could use a knife and cut it into pieces, but I find that ripping it gets rid of a lot of pent up anxiety that has built up over the years, but that could just be me.

Cook it on high heat, which on a gas stove is just below the setting with that annoying clicking sound that lets you know the burner has ignited.

Bring it to a simmer, which is just below a boil, and the way you can tell that you have brought it to a simmer is to bring it to a boil and then let it cool off to a simmer.

Get out your favorite bowl or mug, and ladle, do not pour, I repeat do not pour, trust me, I know these things from experience.
As I was saying, get out your favorite bowl or mug, and ladle said soup into said bowl or mug.

Add crackers, or bread, or croutons, or corn bread, or bread sticks, or whatever to taste, pour yourself a little something to wash it down with, I prefer Pale Dry Ginger Ale, and enjoy.

Bon Appetit!