The Sex Ed Film

Back in ninth grade they had a boys only assembly down in the gymnasium.
They didn't tell us what the assembly was about, just that it would be boys only and horsing around wouldn't be tolerated.

So when we got down to the gym we were told by Mr. Frankenhiemer, the head of the PE department, to shut up and just go sit in the bleachers.
Man, I thought they were going to lecture us on the importance of team sports and how it helped build character and stuff like that.

As if.

Anyway, Mr. Frankenhiemer told us that we would be watching a short film which would be followed by a question and answer period.

Lights out, and keep the noise down!!!

The film opens with Bob and Phil and their dates Betty and Jane having a picnic lunch down by the lake.
Bob and Phil and Betty decide to go swimming, and Bob seems puzzled, but says nothing, when Jane quietly demurs saying that she will just sit on the blanket and watch.
After the prerequisite horseplay down at the lake Bob takes Phil aside and asks why Jane is being such a stick in the mud.
Phil replies that Jane is just having her monthly menstrual cycle and it isn't safe for her to go swimming.
Ok, so, yeah, this was 1965 so the film must have been from 1955 and back then ...
Bob furrows his brow and looks confused, and says ...
Her monthly menstrual cycle, what the heck is that?
Phil just smiles and as the scene begins to fade into a more clinical laboratory setting, he begins to lecture Bob on the wonders of the female reproductive system.

After that the film got all technical, and quite frankly it started grossing me out, so I didn't pay much attention to it, but I do remember that they used the word slough about a million times, and there was something about 28 days, and discharge, and sanitary napkins, and on, and on, and on.

After about thirty minutes the technical part ends and we are back to Phil and Bob talking at the lake.

Phil reassures Bob that there is nothing wrong with Jane, and that all girls go through this cycle every month and the best thing that Bob can do as a considerate boy friend is to treat Jane with respect and kindness while she is in this delicate condition.

The film ends with Bob smiling and waving at Jane, and Jane shyly smiling back from the blanket her legs tightly clenched together beneath her.

The lights are turned on and Mr. Frankenhiemer asks if there are any questions, and seriously, who better to ask questions about the female reproductive system than a junior high school gym teacher.

After a long silence Edwin, yeah, Edwin, not Ed, or Eddie, it's Edwin, raises his hand and asks about the menstrual discharge ...

Jesus fucking christ!!!

I just put my hands over my ears and sang the lala song to myself and prayed that this nightmare would end.
Which it did.

Thank god PMS hadn't been discovered yet.

The end.