Winds of forty plus miles per hour whipped my mind into a frenzy of vacant thought

So, I'm sitting here, and my internet connection is down, and the wind is blowing, and I could be watching Kinsey on cable, but I'm not because they make sex seem way too wholesome, and it shouldn't be wholesome unless you're doing it in a tub of milk ...
Two per cent milk.

And I've got new sheets on my bed, and why I am telling you this?
Maybe it's because I'm stupid, wait, not stupid, I mean that word sort of like stupid, well, actually I mean that word nothing like stupid ...

And did I mention my internet connection is still down?

I mean what if I miss something?

What if someone stops by and needs me?

What if someone needs to know that Mick Taylor, not Ron Wood, replaced Brian Jones in the Rolling Stones after Jones supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool, and yeah, I said supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool, because, and don't interrupt me because I'm on a roll here, and yeah, I said supposedly drowned in his own swimming pool because I thought all rock stars that drowned always drowned in a pool of their own ... VOMIT!
Yeah, what if somebody needed to know that???

I'm sorry I can't take the pressure.
I'm going to bed ...
But if there is something you really need to know, you know, something you really really need to know, ahhhhhhhhh
My head hurts.
Good night, and please pray for a speedy return of my internet connection.