If Angela Chase led my so-called life she wouldn't have the balls to complain about hers

I didn't turn on the tree lights today so that means that the holiday season is officially over, seriously, and officially.

I think Gerard Depardieu is stalking me. He was definitely trying to make eye contact with me in My Father The Hero.

I keep walking by the 50% off xmas candy displays at all the stores, but I haven't bought anything yet, but I don't know what is going to happen when the discount hits 75%.

Don't even ask me about New Year's Eve. Some of the worst nights in my life have been New Year's Eve.
Ok, so you asked, here's three of the worst, in chronological order.
New Year's Eve 1960 - I was spending the week at my grandparents house. My grandparents who didn't have a television, a radio, a record player, or a telephone, and what the fuck, it was 1960 and everyone had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, I mean even the pre-Beverly Hills Clampetts had a television, a radio, a record player, and a telephone, but no, not my grandparents.
So anyway, because they didn't have a television, a radio, a record player or a telephone you naturally went to bed early. Oh, and did I mention they lived in one of the worst public housing projects in Detroit? Well, they did. So anyway, precisely at midnight on new year's eve, and remember, I am only nine years old at the time, so, precisely at midnight there was all sorts of gun fire outside my bedroom window, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, gunfire followed by drunken revelry and really loud music, gunfire followed by drunken revelry, and really loud music, and my grandfather wandering the hallways in his nightshirt yelling ...
Play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, play the Chipmunk Song, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alvin, I wanna here Alllllllllllllll-vin. I wanna here the Chipmunk Song!!!

I'm sorry, but that memory is so traumatic that you'll have to wait to hear the rest of my ...
New Year's Eves tales of woe.
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllll-vin ...
Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-vin ...