Hey Boz, what's been happening?

I'm in a fashion quandary.
My fat pants are a little too big, but my regular pants are still a little too tight.
I think I'll take a page out of Homer Simpson's book and just go with a Muu-Muu.



In other news ...
I cleaned out the fridge yesterday.
I threw out the five cans of tuna that had been in there well over two years.
I threw out two nearly empty jars of Icy Hot.
I threw out a half bottle of generic Pepto-Bismol.
I threw out some cheese from one of the god awful gift baskets I received last year for xmas.
I threw out five jars of orange stuff that I think might have been spiced carrot shreddings, either that or the ghost of xmas past, or maybe it was the egg plant that ate Cincinnati.
And ...
I threw out a jar of apricots that had only two half apricots left in the jar, and they looked so lonely, and one was sort of all shriveled up and it looked a little like Abraham Lincoln the night he went to the Ford Theater to see Our American Cousin.

In other news ...
I was standing in line at Customer Service at the Evil Empire to get a refund and some guy was being all abusive to the clerks because he had to wait ohhhhh I don't know five minutes, and the woman in front of me told him to lighten up that the clerks were doing the best they could, and he told the lady to ...
Get a face lift
and then he told her to ...
Get a job so she could afford a face lift
And then the store manager came in and the two of them argued back and forth for awhile
And then the store manager said ...
We don't need your business
And then the guy said to the store manager ...
Why don't you get married so you won't look so gay.
And then I said ...
Ok, I didn't say anything, but ten minutes later I thought of some really cool stuff I could have said to him.
The jerk.