Stuff, just stuff, ok, just stuff

I don't know what to say, but it's really dead around here, so maybe I should make something up, you know instead of taking something that actually happened and lying about it, but what's the difference really.

Ten things I just made up while sitting here.
1. My third leg just fell off.
2. I'm taking Ed Bradley's place on 60 Minutes.
3. Donald Rumsfeld cried on my shoulder last night.
4. I have a dog that farts the melodies to all the songs on Beatles 65.
5. In a past life I was a pirate, no, not a pirate, but like a pirate, you know a brigand, yeah, in a past life I was a brigand.
6. I have a xmas tree decorated with the underpants of all the women I have had sex with.
7. I'm the guy who put the mouse in a bottle of Coca-Cola.
8. I wanted to put a moose in a bottle of Coca-Cola but I didn't even make it past the moose knuckle.
9. My last unfulfilled sexual fantasy is to have sex with a woman with a cast on her leg, preferably her right leg, ok, that's not something I just made up, it's sort of true, and it's not my last unfulfilled fantasy either.
10. There used to be two countries named Irao and Irap located between Iran and Iraq, but the League of Nations disappeared them after WWI.