It's November, I can't help it

I can't sleep tonight, which is odd because I have been sleeping so well lately.
I tripped over my exercise bike in the dark while walking to the bathroom. Don't worry I'm cool though.
The wind is really blowing outside, something like 40 mile an hour gusts, and we had a lot of thunder earlier, and there is a winter storm advisory until 6 am, and we are supposed to get between 4-6 inches of snow, but it hasn't started snowing yet, so it had better start soon because it's getting close to 6 am, and I just heard a train whistle, and that always sounds kind of spooky when it's dark and windy and weather advisory out.
I guess that's it.
No wait, there is something else, but I'm tired now, so I guess it can wait.
Did I tell you that I'm on a diet?
Yeah, I plan on getting down to 200 pounds by March. I've lost about five pounds so far, so I've got a ways to go, ok, I might as well admit that I was up to 243 pounds, and yeah, I know, I don't look it, but it's all in my gut, and you know, with my spinal problems and stuff it is probably a good idea to lose a little weight to make it easier on my joints and stuff because I am in those osteo-arthritis years, and yeah, some of it is vanity too, and seriously, I already feel a lot better, I'm getting my cat like moves back, I'm a pretty agile guy, you didn't know that, did you. Ok, tripping over my exercise bike could have happened to anyone, that had nothing to do with agility, see, it was dark, and I was half asleep, so yeah, I really am pretty agile.
Ok, I think I know why I can't sleep. I had a glass of Dr Pepper at about seven tonight and that's loaded with caffeine, and did you know I've practically cut all caffeine out of my diet, and that is why I have been sleeping so well, well, except for tonight, but that's because of the Dr Pepper, and yeah, the no caffeine thing is really cool, I don't even crave it any more, you see, I started by changing to caffeine free diet soda, and you'd be surprised how fast you can get the caffeine jones off of your back, and after a week or so of nothing but caffeine free soda you lose the taste for soda, so yeah, I mostly drink water now, about two liters a day, and that is the real reason why I tripped over my exercise bike in the dark while walking to the bathroom, it's because when you drink two liters of water a day you go to the bathroom a lot, well, duh.
Now that I've got that off my chest I can go to bed with a cleansed soul and a slight bruise on my knee, but I think I should make another trip to the bathroom first.
The end