Touched for the very first time

So, Boz, how are you?

Crap, I feel like crap.

Oh, this isn't a good time. Should I just go?

'Sup to you.

Wait a second. It's one in the afternoon and you still aren't dressed, and your hair's a mess, and I bet if you were to breathe on me ... well, just don't even try to breathe on me.

Fuck you. I'm in pain. I think I have two broken toes, and everything hurts. Nobody knows the pain that is Boz.

C'mon Bozzie. Up, up, up and at 'em.

Maybe you should just go away. Did I tell you my vocal chords hurt too?

Say, Bozzie, why don't you wash up, get dressed, have a nice HAM sandwich and go out to the Dollar Store. Everyone knows you love the Dollar Store ... and HAM!!!

Hmmmmm, I do sort of hear the siren song of the Dollar Store beckoning me.
Hey ... I told you I like ham, I don't love ham, I just like ham, ok, it's not that I need ham, or obsess about ham, or dream about ham, or have a freezer full of ham and ham by products, I just like ham, ok.

Fine, yeah, so anyway, what you been doing lately Bozzerino?

I'm re-inventing myself ... holy shit, did you see that???

What???

Oh never mind, it was nothing, nothing, nothing, forget I even brought it up. I think it was another Faux Vietnam Flashback, I've been having a lot of those since I stopped taking the zoloft a month ago.

Re-inventing yourself, explain.

I'd rather not go into it right now. I'd rather be totally re-invented before I speak about my re-invention. But, it's not one of those Madonna like re-inventions, well, not a LOT like one of those Madonna re-inventions. I am adding dancers ... but I've already said too much.
Do you have any cough drops, I'd kill for a cough drop, or a gun, I mean some gum, yeah, do you have any cough drops or a gun ... GUM, GUM, I mean GUM!!!
GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM.

Ahhh, ok Bozley, I'm going to run now. They're having a Kurosawa retrospective down at the Theater of the Tragically Hip this weekend, and I promised some friends that I'd do the organic popcorn. Toodles.*

GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM, GUM.


*And as always the voice of Boz's conscience was played by the bastard love child of Frank Sinatra and Gracie Slick, Hieronymus Glick Flick Slick Sinatra Love.