Please excuse my babbling if you've heard it before

Ok, so if you look at the time stamp you'll see that it's very early in the morning and that will probably make you wonder what's that crazy old boz doing up, let alone making a grammatically puzzling post, now.
Well excuse me for breathing, or better yet, excuse me for not breathing, which is pretty much precisely what I am not doing, breathing that is.
Yeah, I woke up and my nose was completely stuffed, stuffed as in major loss of oxygen to the brain which could lead to brain damage stuffed, that stuffed.
So, instead of breathing through my mouth, which I normally do 95% of the time, I panic and try even harder to breathe through my nose, and if your nose has ever been really stuffed up, you'll know just how much that hurts. So instead of breathing through my mouth I continue trying to breathe through my nose while frantically running around the house looking for nasal spray, and as bad as my sinus are you'd think I'd keep a bottle of nasal spray in the drawer of my night stand at all times, if I had a night stand that is, and I think I'm going to make a run to the St Vinny's thrift store and see if they have a suitable night stand in which I would most definitely keep a bottle of nasal spray at all times as I flail away at trying to end this sentence, there.
Yeah, I did find the nasal spray, it was in the top drawer of the dresser located where the night stand I don't have would be located if I had one, so I guess I really don't have to make a thrift store run after all, I mean, all I really have to do is self hypnotise myself into believing that the dresser is actually a night stand, and then count to three and clap, and hopefully I won't start barking like a dog and sniffing everybody's crotch like I did the last time I was hypnotized, and then everything will be alright.
And it is alright now, except for the fact that I can't shake this belief that I have deep down in my gut that the lacrosse team from Duke is some how involved in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway and that Greta Van Sustern is the scariest looking woman in the world.
Other than that, everything is all hunky dory from where I am sitting, which would be right here, in front of my computer, pouring out my thoughts, and hopes, and dreams to you in my hour of need, and yet still wondering where it all went wrong for poor Lester Jenkins.
Amen