What's right is right, and what's left is left.

I think I should tell you that it's five thirty and I've been awake since four thirty after falling asleep at three.
I think I should tell you that one of the temporary crowns that I got a couple weeks ago, the one on the upper left side, is really hurting.
It's sort of swollen, or irritated, and the pain is kind of a dull throbbing pain, and the more I fixate on it the more it hurts.
Today is Friday (is it really Friday already?), and my next dental appointment, the one where he puts in the permanent crowns is next Monday.
I think I'll live, because it's not like the pain is constant, it comes and goes, and like I said, fixating on it only makes it worse, so it's only natural that late at night, or early in the morning, even if you aren't asleep, your mind is more relaxed, and oh great, now my left ear hurts, and my lower left back too, and as I look down at my left hand I notice that two of my fingers are missing, yes, two of them, the two smallest fingers on my left hand are definitely missing, there's no blood, there's no wound, it's like the two smallest fingers on my left hand never existed, and now I'm really getting scared, this is like something out of Kafka, Bob Kafka, the Bob Kafka who had the dorm room next to me when I spent a week in San Angelo Texas at an Air Force conference back in 1971, yeah, that Bob Kafka, THE BOB KAFKA THAT WAS MISSING THE TWO SMALLEST FINGERS ON HIS LEFT HAND!!!
I hope this isn't freaking you out, but fuck, I only have three fingers on my left hand, and my upper left temporary crown hurts, and my left ear hurts, and my lower left back hurts, and remember last week when I told you about the shooting pain that ran up my leg, my LEFT leg, and into my left testicle, remember that, and I hope that I didn't conjure up anything when I mentioned my left testicle, that is unless you wanted to conjure up something (nudge, nudge).
So anyway, he says as he clears his throat ...
I'm going back to bed, and leave my left testicle out of it, unless, well, just unless.