Why can't all the pretty looking girls in the world live without me?

Email from another pretty girl.

Hello my dear friend
b
I was looking through theb web few weeks ago and found
your profile. Now bI decided to emaibl you to get to knowb
yoau better. I am coming tao your country in few waeeks
and thought may be we can meet each other. I am pretty
looking girl. I am 25. Do not reply to this addressa
directly. Email me back at uee@SpringMailSite.info

My Reply:

Hey Merle, won't you be my girl?

Hello my dear friend Merle,
Are you a boy or are you a girl ... lol, I am kidding on you. I know you are a girl because you said you are. You see. In my country Merle is mostly either a man's name or a lesbian's name, and I bet you are too pretty to be a lesbian (wink, wink). Don't get me wrong, I like lesbians, but just not in that way, because that way would be foolish because they are lesbians. I hope I am not confusing you. I am a sociologist, is that how you spell that, and I study things like lesbians, I'm not saying that lesbians are things, they are people just like the rest of us, only they like girls instead of boys. HEY!!! I think I am a lesbian too, because I like girls instead of boys. lololololo ... l.
Oh Merle, whenever I think of you it reminds me of that song Okie from Musgogee by Merle Haggard. Perhaps when you come to my area and visit me and we make a Love Connection that can be OUR SONG.
I must close now, I am meeting a group of lesbians for a business lunch. I won't tell them that your name is Merle because I don't want them to hit on you.
Yours truly,
Dr Butch Patrick PHD
PS. I love the way you type. You are such a grammatical rebel!!!