Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I hear noises and there is no one there except for that zombie way off in the distance but I might be imagining that too.

I used to believe that if you sneezed ten times in a row in quick succession you would die, that's what I believed when I was a teenager and the most I ever sneezed in a row in quick succession was seven, maybe eight times ever, but sometime in my late twenties I did it, I sneezed ten times in a row in quick succession and I didn't die, and I thought that might have been the exception that proved the rule, or maybe it was something like not getting pregnant the first time you fuck, and I was going to change the first time you fuck to the first time you have sex, but I said fuck so there you go, but this isn't about fucking it's about sneezing, and a girl once told me that a really good sneeze was like a really good orgasm, but this is the same girl that told me that the song Norwegian Wood was a song about John Lennon fucking Natalie Wood, and I never believed that, I mean you might as well have said that Norwegian Wood was a song about John Lennon fucking Doris Day in the woods while Helmut Newton took pictures, and so it goes, and now back to sneezing ten times in a row in quick succession and dying ...
As it turns out you can sneeze a whole lot of times and not die, and conversely you can sneeze like no amount of times and die, so what does it all mean, nothing I guess, but in case you're interested the most I have sneezed in a row in quick succession is fourteen times, and it didn't kill me, but it probably will eventually.

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