Ten Thing Saturday

1. I think one of my new crowns is picking up a radio station out of Erie Pennsylvania.
2. I think I was going to make a post about ten things "I think" but I can't.
3. Have the bottom of your feet ever really hurt so bad that it was hard to walk?
4. I have so much stuff I am starting to buy triplicates of things that I don't even need duplicates of. (3 digital cameras, 3 mp3 players, 3 posture bars)
5. I just finished shoveling the driveway, sidewalk, and porch, and I am feeling some sort of adrenaline, or maybe it's an endomorphic rush, and I'm pretty sure that endomorphic is one of those words I just sort of make up when I can't think of an actual word to describe what I am trying to express.
6. I just took a good look around my bedroom and it is about 10 degrees just this side of squalor, and about six degrees just this side of Kevin Bacon, who is not Eric Stolz, not even on his best day.
7. Kiss Me, by Sixpence None the Richer just came on my mp3 player, now if I could only find my father's map, and my mother's gun, and that book of stamps that I misplaced last April, I'd be all set.
8. I just spent five minutes halfheartedly trying to get a sticky cough drop wrapper off the fourth finger on my right hand.
9. If Burger King only sold ham I could live there, as long as they let me use the men's room whenever I wanted, and they had cable access, and if I didn't have to help, even if they were short on staff, and it would only be for a half hour, and even if they paid me.
10. If Bruce Willis never made another movie wouldn't the world be a better place? Discuss, and show your work.

This isn't a post, but had it been one, it would have went something like this ...

I can't get friendly with my keyboard.
My monitor is mocking me.
My mouse, the mouse I raised from a baby, has turned against me.
Is this really happening?
Are my fingers really typing?
Is spell check the Seymour Glass of of of of of of?
Do books burn?
Is fantasy like reality only opposite?
Is reality the same as fact?
Are facts a dime a dozen?
Will this be the year?
My ears are ringing.
My feet are humming.
My dick is shifting into second gear.
And my beard and mustache are still my beard and mustache.
And if see one more picture of a cat wielding a machine gun, I'll shake my fist at the heavens, and then I'll die, I'll just die.

A boz quiz

1. Who do you think deserves to be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame that will never get there? Lonnie Donegan, the King of Skiffle for his influence on the artists of the British Invasion, such as The Beatles, Jimmy Page, Van Morrison, et al.


2. If you could have a torrid affair with any character on television who would it be? (The character, not the person who plays the character) Hmmm, either Nancy Botwin from Weeds on Showtime, or Maggie Jacobs from Extras on HBO.

3. In what year did your favorite Christmas occur? 1967, I was seventeen, a senior in high school, there was a lot of snow, and the only present I remember getting was the record album Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan, and I had the attic bedroom, which was huge, with a lot of secret nooks and crannies, and I distinctly remember the album Strange Days by the Doors, but I'm sure I didn't get it for Christmas, and I think I got it the same day we got our tree, the tree that fell out of the trunk of our car as we were driving home from the tree lot, and yeah, it's strange but that was a great Christmas.

4. If you had been born a member of the opposite sex and had the chance to pick your own first name what name would you pick. Darcie, Phoebe, or Molly.

5. Are you satisfied with your middle name? Yes, it's Vance and it's a perfect bridge from my first name to my last name.

6. What is your favorite second tier holiday? I've always liked Flag Day because it's two days after my birthday, and how cool would it be to be born on a second tier holiday?

7. What positive trait do you possess that makes you feel embarrassed when someone points it out to you? Oh, that I am a good son, I mean, I might be, but still, it's kind of wimpy, and it sounds pretty noble, and believe me, in no way am I noble, I'm just doing what needs to be done.

8. What song do you want them to play at your funeral? Passionate Kisses by Lucinda Williams, wait, wait, wait, wait ... I Kissed a Girl by Jill Sobule.

9. Who is your opposite sex crush? Tony Shalhoub from the tv series Monk.

10. What possession of yours can you see from where you are sitting that you think someone else would consider odd? My Hulk Benet Ramsey Action Figure, it's not a doll ... it's an action figure. It's a bobble head Hulk ink pen with the Hulk head replaced with a Barbie doll head.



Consider yourself tagged, but only if you really want to be.

1212121212121212

Ok, so here's the deal. I've been having a lot of trouble with my hair latley. It's like it has a life of it's own, and how is it possible in a span of nine words to use the word it or it's three times ...
But yeah, my hair has a become a problem, ok, so I bought some spikey hair gel kind of goop today, and it's called LA Looks Absolute Styling, and it promises mega hold, and it professes to be a radical control styling gel, and I tried it earlier tonight, and this is what it looks like.



And it looks pretty good, and I do feel radical, and mega, and absolute, but not necessarily in that order, and what do you think, am I spike material?

The wrath of MB

Ok, so I think I've finished all my xmas shopping, and it's all been for stuff for MB, except for the stuff I bought for myself, because if I don't buy any presents for myself I won't get any presents for under the tree, and yeah, of course I'll know what I got, but MB won't know what I got, so, as long as one of us is surprised I guess that's all you can ask for, and I was going to run down the list of what I got for MB, but my sinus is acting up, so, I've been taking Nyquil and nose drops, and some kind of pill, and unless I go get the bags that I have all of MB's stuff in ...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchoooooo,
And that was about the 126th sneezed that I've unleashed on the ozone since about 7 PM Monday night ...
So, unless I go get the gabs (bags spelled inside out) there is no way that I can tell you what I got her ... because the meds have made me brainless when it comes to memory, but I do remember that I bought her four pairs of sweat pants, which she loves, and a scarf, and some kind of body spray, and some beef jerky, no, the beef jerkey is for me, and forget the second e in jerkey, because it doesn't exist.
And I was going to tell you about my cousin's son who has two kids born a month and a half apart, one by his wife, and one by his wife's best friend, who he was living with when my cousin's son's wife and my cousin's son split up for about six months, and the kid by the best friend is the older of the two kids, and don't ask me to explain it, because of the meds ...
And yeah, they're all good friends, and yeah, it sounds trailer parkesque, and it might be, but I don't know, but I do know that MB isn't pleased with it, because she told me not to send THAT BOY a xmas card.



And I'm seriously thinking about going to bed, and I probably would if I could only remember where my bed is.

I've never been to Belgium but it feels like I have.

Ok, things are getting weird.
Thursday seemed like Friday.
Friday seemed like Friday.
And today seems like Friday.
I think it might be because I broke my toe and I'm hallucinating, or in shock, or brain dead.

Anyway, my sister and her husband are flying up for a visit at the end of January. I just hope they don't get here on a FRIDAY!!!

I'm going back to bed now.

Did I mention that I just had a doughnut and a bottle of water?

A Xmas Without Boz

A Lifetime Xmas movie special.



Featuring Tracy Gold as the young anorexic ex-con widow in her quest for the true meaning of Xmas.

A VMoD Xmas

Ten things you probably already knew except for the ones that I made up just for this.

1. Has anyone ever tried to run you over in a car? Yes, twice.

2. Have you ever been tied up? HUH ... oh, yes, once, I was in a bank that was getting robbed and they tied everyone up and stuck guns in our faces and threatened to kill us, but they didn't, and then I got interviewed by the FBI, but I don't think they ever caught the guys.

3. What are you listening to right now ... NOW? ZZTop's Greatest Hits, Sharp Dressed Man.

4. Have you ever had a switchblade knife pressed against your throat? Yes, but it was by my best friend, and he was high so I didn't hold it against him, but I was a little concerned that he might hiccup or something and accidentally slice me from ear to ear.

5. Have you ever been in jail? No, but I keep having dreams that I'm an ex-con.

6. Has anything out of the ordinary ever happened on your birthday? Yes, I stepped on a rusty nail and had to get a tetanus shot on my sixth birthday, my grandmother died on my seventh birthday, a former football player murdered his ex-wife and another guy on my 47th birthday, and I had to put my father in a nursing home on my 50th birthday.

7. Have you ever been in a house fire, a hurricane, or a plane crash? Yes, yes, almost.

8. Have you ever been hit in the head with a croquet ball? Yes, I guess I was about six or seven years old and some friends were playing croquet in the back yard, and I was fascinated by the path of the ball, so I leaned over an put my head on the ground and watched as the ball rolled up and BAM hit me right in the forehead.

9. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I had sex with a girl with a broken leg.

10. What's the weather like outside? Snow and drizzle, there's a weather advisory out, but it's a pretty lame one that calls for light snow and drizzle, and I remember when they only had weather advisories if they were expecting a blizzard or the Apocalypse, go figure, and I blame the MTV and music videos.

Sunday night with my eyes half closed.

It's a little after seven on Sunday night.
I'm watching the hockey game there is about ten minutes left.
I'm wearing a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt.
I just did an inner burp.
We still lead the hockey game 3-2.
I just took a web cam pic of one of the hand carved Santa's that I have.
Here it is.



I guess it's more a Father Christmas than a Santa, because, WTF kind of Santa wears a long green robe.

We still lead the hockey game.
I want to watch Dexter at nine tonight.
We won the hockey game.
Did I say I'm tired?
And that I want to watch Dexter.
And that I want some peppermint ice cream.
And some Pomegranate 7-Up.
And some Ruby Red Squirt.
And some popcorn.
And do you have any cake?
Or maybe a nice marzipan?
Or some bullets.
Or a kite, the kind that you don't have to run with to make it fly.
I guess that's it, unless you want to ask what I want for xmas, and maybe I'd like a garden gnome, but you'll never know unless you ask.

I fell in a mud puddle, ok ... OK!!!

And then it snowed

I found a sample bottle of Johnson's baby shampoo that I think I got when I was in the hospital last year.



I'm starting to see why the neighbor from two houses down used to call me "Whitey" when I was little.

Currently listening to:
Daddy's Gone by Toots and the Maytels

TSOAUSS Part 3

There was a dog across the street sniffing through an empty fast food take-out bag. When I rolled down the back seat window to get a better look at him the dog got spooked and ran away down the side of the road in the opposite direction from where our car was pointed.

TSOAUSS Part 2

Rob liked to tell the story about how we met when we were chained together while a group of us campus radicals occupied the ROTC building our first year of college. It's a good story, but there wasn't an ounce of truth to it. Bob and I actually met while watching The Price Is Right in the lounge of the freshman dorm when both of us were cutting class. I was cutting Biology, while Bob was cutting some kind of rinky-dink Badminton class that he needed to fulfill his Phys Ed requirement.
Teri was Bob's wife, and quite simply, the most beautiful woman in the world.

The start of another unfinishable short story.

I waited in the car as Bob and Teri ran into the store.
My leg had been throbbing since the incident at the beach earlier in the day, and we all thought it best that I let them pick up the few things we needed for later tonight, while I relaxed in the back seat waiting for the two percocet, that Teri had fished out of her purse for me forty five minutes ago, to take effect.

Storm fever

The storm has started.
It's snowing pretty heavy.
My keyboard is lagging.
I wonder what causes that.
Never mind.
We've had about 2 or 3 inches so far.
It's hard to tell how much because it's dark.
Maybe I should stick my head, and camera, outside and take a picture.
I think I will when I'm done with this.
I've made three emergency supply runs in the last three days.
You know ...
Diet soda (coke)
Toilet paper
More diet soda (ruby red squirt)
Ice cream
Bread
Crackers, saltine, oyster, snack, and cheddar
More diet soda (vernor's ginger ale)
Depends
Cool Whip
Cherry flavored mylanta
Hot dogs and buns
Soft pretzels
Microwave popcorn
No ham
What???
No ham
Oh!!!
Lunch meat
You said no ham!
It wasn't ham
Well the ...
Ok, it was bologna
That's worse than ham
I like it
But ...
But nothing ...
But ...
Shut the fuck up
FINE!!!
I guess that's it except for
Batteries???
Yeah, batteries
And ...
STEAK FRIES ... OK, I GOT STEAK FRIES TOO, AND I'LL PROBABLY HAVE STEAK FRIES WITH BOLOGNA SANDWICHES WITH PEANUT BUTTER SPREAD ALL OVER THEM, AND I'LL GARGLE WITH HOT DOGS AND FLOSS WITH FRIED EGGS, DOZENS AND DOZENS OF FRIED EGGS ...

I'm going to go listen to my Zune now, which with the new software is a pain in the arse region.

I'm going to go take a picture of the snow, and that'll do it.

Snow

Quick, boil water!

It's snowing
And I've got heartburn
And I just woke up
And I'm wearing funny looking socks
And a black v-neck t-shirt that I found stuffed down way in the back of my t-shirt drawer
And I think the snow just stopped
And I think we got about an inch
And I still haven't had the leaves raked
And we have a winter storm watch for Saturday night and Sunday morning
And we could get six to ten inches of snow, and sleet, and slush, and rain, and freezing rain, and other stuff that falls from the sky all mixed in together
And I won this yesterday for my Zune



And it's a carrying case
And it's made out of leather
And it's Italian leather, none of that cheap Romanian leather
And it's Sienna Red, but I had my choice of Phantom Black, Alpine White, Sienna Red, Peony Pink and Mocha Brown.
And Peony Pink was never an option with me
And yeah, the snow stopped
And the city snow plows are plowing away
And I can hear their back up beep beep beeps
And my left heel really hurts
And my brain just froze.

Music makes the world go round, that and gravity, or the tides, or something

Songs playing on my Zune, right now, as I type, and listen, through headsets and everything.

1. I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together - Romeo Void-d-d-d-d-d, and it's true, I might.



Me, doing the Romeo Void.

2. Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground, and I have blue eyes, but I don't think they're pale, check the pic below and tell me what you think. Ok, sometimes my eyes are blue, and sometimes they are grey, and sometimes they're almost green, and sometimes they're a combination of all of the above, but just sometimes, and they could be pale blue after all.

See...



3. Windy - The Association, I used to have a major crush on a girl named Windy, wait, her name was Jill, and I wonder what made me think that?

4. Morning Girl - The Neon Philharmonic, some song from 1969 that I remember hearing on the way back from the airport when I was coming home on leave, and it was like six in the morning, and my dad was driving, and we picked up a hitchhiker who was in either the army or the navy and we gave him a ride all the way home.

5. Johnny Be Fair - Buffy Sainte-Marie, Buffy-Sainte Marie ... sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. I used to write poems about her when I was seventeen, but actually eighteen, but it doesn't sound so pathetic if I say seventeen, or does it?

6. Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again - Bob Dylan, that's an awfully long title, and there you go with that word BLUE again ... again!!! My dream when I was seventeen, or eighteen, or backwards to sixteen, was to have sex with all the woman that Bob Dylan turned down. This is a long song, so I'm just sitting and waiting till it ends so I can do the next song, in case you wondered or anything, a minute and a half to go. Hmmm, five of the six songs so far are from the 60's, but then again so am I, so I guess that makes sense. Ok, the song's starting to end now ... NOW!!!

7. No Regrets - The Walker Brothers, and this is a terrible version of a great song that was mostly sung by Tom Rush, no, not that Tom Rush, the other Tom Rush, yeah, THAT Tom Rush, and from now on if I type a word in all caps that means I'm adding EMPHASIS to it, either that or the caps lock is stuck.

Me, impatiently waiting for No Regrets to end



8. Words of Love - The Mamas and the Papas, and no, I didn't give her the ham sandwich ... did I say HAM SANDWICH???

Me, enjoying my HAM SANDWICH joke



9. Wear Your Love Like Heaven - Donovan, I spent too much time on the ham sandwich pic and now this song is over, so you don't have to listen to my Donovan stories.

10. 88 Lines About 44 Women - The Nails, if I had 88 lines about 44 women do you think I'd be here, of course not, I'd be in China, or France, or Spain, or some nameless VA hospital in one of the southern states that's not Florida.

Me, wishing I had 88 lines about 44 women

It really isn't.

One of my many, many, many online friends sent me this.



It's too fucking cold out.
When I got up this morning it was 10 degrees.
It's now about 25 degrees.
It was so cold I had trouble starting my car this morning, and it was in a heated garage.
It was so cold I had trouble taking the gas cap off my car to fill it up.
It was so cold that when I skinned my finger trying to get my gas cap off it didn't bleed.
It was so cold I kept dropping my credit card.
It was so cold that I've got chapped lips, and I never get chapped lips, but I did today, so I bought some carmax, is that what it's called, you know the stuff for chapped lips that comes in a tin that a lot of people get addicted to, and seriously, I don't know how you'd get addicted to it, it tastes like caramel wax, and I just checked and it's carmex not carmax, and I guess that's about all the how cold is it's that I have.

Slurpppppppppppppppp

I was going to write something, but maybe I'll just watch tv instead, or go to bed instead, or maybe just surf the internets a little bit more, and did you notice how I called it the internets like all the hipsters do when they are making fun of that guy, you know, that guy, anyway, I've lost my train of thought, and did I tell you I did a lot of straightening up around the house today, folding clothes, and hanging up clothes, and finding clothes that MB had stashed all over the house like a squirrel or a chipmunk would do, and should I mention that I found about fifty bras, I mean, they were all over the place, I even found two sports bras, and why in the world would an 86 year old woman have two sports bras, or one sports bra, and no, none of the bras were mine, strike that, I mean, why would I have a bra, so yeah, that was just a typo, oh and when I first found the two sports bras I thought they were some weird kind of underpants with stirrups or whatever, and if you have any sports bras go get one of them out and tell me that they don't look like some weird kind of underpants, but yeah, maybe I'll watch The Big Lebowski again, or some other movie about bowling, or weird underpants.

The symptoms that prove I am sick

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, or as good as you can feel at six in the morning, but after I ate breakfast I started feeling all sinusy, so to be on the safe side I took a couple of benadryl and went back to bed and fell right to sleep, right to motherfucking sleep, where I stayed except for a couple get out of beds to do some stuff, until three in the afternoon, and if my math is correct that comes out to about seven hours ... SEVEN HOURS, no it can't be, let me see, seven would be one hour, eight would be two hours, nine would be three hours, ten would be four hours ... wait, it wasn't seven hours it was nine hours ... NINE FutherMucking hours.
Anyway ... wow, nine hours, that's a lot of hours.
Anyway, I finally got up and washed and got dressed.
Then I checked my over the counter medicine drawer to see what kind of over the counter medicines I had to combat this evil ... I said EVIL sinus attack, and I found all sorts of good stuff, enough so where I didn't have to make a "boz is out of his mind with sinus medication withdrawal so he has to make an emergency run for sinus medication" run.
Where was I?
Oh, the symptoms that prove I am sick
1. Light headedness.
2. Aches.
3. Pains.
4. Paranoia.
5. Stuffed up nose.
6. Runny nose.
7. Crooked nose.
8. Hallucinations.
9. Draining sinus.
10. Sore throat.
11. Paranoia.
12. Paranoia.
13. Repeating myself-itis.
14. Ringing in my ears.
15. Ringing in your ears.
16. Headache.
17. Earache.
18. Back ache.
19. Weezie withdrawal. (The relatively rare affliction caused by not getting enough re-runs of The Jefferson's).
20. Forgetfulness.
21. Coughing.
22. Blushing.
23. Bluffing.
24. Flushing.
25. Rushing into situations half-cocked.
26. Stuttering.
27. Inertia.
28. Paranoia.
29. Did I mention paranoia?
30. And finally WTF-itis.

Some of the stuff I do at 2:30 in the morning

I have a serious hard-on for my new webcam.

Never use toothpicks to pry your eyes open unless you are out of crazy glue.

I am in a trance right now.
I didn't fall asleep till nine this morning, and even after I fell asleep I kept waking up, and I feel old, and I feel grumpy, and I feel like my future isn't so bright that I've gotta wear shades, and I've gotta go to the credit union and transfer an enormous amount of money into my checking account so I can pay an enormous credit card bill, and I gotta go and buy a book that I won't read but I gotta buy it anyway so I can impress people with how literate I am, and don't worry it will be a used book and will only cost a dime or maybe two dimes if I find two books worth trying to impress people with, and I gotta go to the supermarket and order our thanksgiving dinner because next week is thanksgiving and we have to have dinner don't we, and I gotta buy pudding lots and lots of pudding because MB likes pudding lots and lots of pudding, and my grammar train of thought is all fucked up, but that's because I'm in a trance, mostly.

I never had much sympathy for zombies until I became one.

I just woke up about a half hour ago from a nyquil induced coma, hence the zombie reference in the title.
I just thought you might want to know.

I keep telling myself that today is Thursday, but myself keeps telling me that it seems more like Monday.

People often ask me what it feels like to be the sanest blogger in the world. I, of course, am flattered, but I don't know what to tell them.

No news

So, about ten minutes ago I looked at the clock and it was 11:15 pm, and now it's 1:15 am, and I'm wondering how that happened.

If it's Tuesday it must be Tuesday

I'm waiting for the new chair I bought to be delivered.
It's supposed to get here between noon and two.
The bird that mocks me is in the room with me because I don't want her to catch cold when I open the front door to let the furniture guys in.
She is kind of spooked.



Maybe I should turn some music on.
The bird that mocks me likes music.
That's better.
The bird that mocks me seems to like Moby Grape.

It's good to be boz

I'm fighting a losing battle over getting my ass to the gym this morning, fuck it, it's almost afternoon, what should I do?

I just woke up from a dream where there were two naked girls in their early twenties, naked except for their panties, and they were in an alley, and I could only see them from behind, and they both had nice asses, and they were talking as they were walking, and one of them said, I think it was the brunette, and the brunette said something about applying for jobs at the new bakery, or maybe she said NUDE bakery, and that would explain everything except the part about the alley, oh, and the other girl was blond.

Let's dance, or some other song by David Bowie that doesn't involve dancing, or China Girls, or dancing China Girls.

Hi, I'm awake.
Been that way since five this morning.
Had a sandwich, and a diet coke, and a snack size Mounds bar, surfed some tv, and watched five minutes of a really bad movie with Cicely Tyson and Louise Fletcher, got online, checked out some sites I'm involved in, and read an article about good directors and the really bad movies they have made, and now I am going back to bed, and I really need to go to the gym today, because I haven't been since maybe Friday or Saturday, and it makes me feel such shame, but now I am really going back to bed, ok, I've got to check one more site, and then for sure I'm going back to bed, yeah, it's the site where I pretend I'm a velcro monkey ... of doom.

It's nothing, it really is, or isn't, ok, now I'm confused.

I fell in love a little bit today.
With a girl not quite a woman.
It was her hair.
Blond with dark roots pulled back in a ponytail.
With a girl not quite a woman ...
What the fuck?
See, here's the deal.
I was sitting in the Burger King in Standish today, and there was this chick working there, I think she was a manager trainee, and she had this dyed blond hair that just jumped out at me ...
I mean her hair was really amazing. It was obviously dyed some kind of blond, it looked kind of champagne colored to me, and her roots were showing, and here's the amazing thing, it looked like her roots were dyed too, some kind of shade of zombie black, and yeah, I know it sounds hideous, but it was the most amazing color combination I have ever seen ...
And that's it.
I thought I had a post.
But I don't.
It was just her hair.
That's all it was.
Her hair.
And I can't even think of a way to bring it up that she looked just like Paris Hilton.
But it was just her hair.
Seriously.

My fellow Americans

I had a dream about Lyndon Johnson last night.
He was at his ranch in Texas, laughing manically while barbecuing the brains of John F. Kennedy, and serving them to the Mafia, the FBI, the CIA, and Fidel Castro, as Jackie looked on in tears from the grassy knoll.

Shut the fuck up Donny

I've changed my mind about popularity.
Way too much trouble.
Way too much to read.
And besides, the only blog that I find really, really, really, interesting, the only blog that I search out day after day, the only blog that I really love, the only blog that is worth the trouble, the only blog that gives me what I want ...
Well yeah, it's The Grand Ennui.
So let that be a lesson to you.
Rick Nelson was right.
You can't please everyone so you might as well tell everyone to go fuck themselves.
Of course you realize that I don't mean you.



The Dude ... The Big Lebozski

Whatever happened to anti personal mines in their bookbags?

Yesterday I was in the store and two of the clerks were talking about the prank that four high school girls had precipitated that involved toothpicks, and the clerks were clicking their tongues and bemoaning the sad state of affairs of today's youth, when twenty years ago some other clerks in probably the same store were bemoaning the sad state of affairs of the youth of twenty years ago, which the current store clerks were probably part of with their MTV and their video games, and their Madonna-like attitudes, and it it possible that I actually used the word precipitated about five or six lines back ...
And I thought what the fuck kind of prank could involve toothpicks that would cause so much bemoaning by the youth of twenty years ago???
What unfathomable crime or misdemeanor could they have perpetrated?
Of course, my mind was immediately awash with ... AWASH?
Why am I using all the words like precipitated, bemoaning, unfathomable, and awash.
Who am I trying to impress?
Ahhhh, yeah, the tons of new bloggers who have been drawn to The Grand Ennui like moths to a flame in search of THE ANSWER.
But I digress.
So anyway, I went home and looked in the paper and the four teen girls had bought thousands of toothpicks and stuck them in the football field the night before the big game of their cross county rival in retribution for the alleged smearing of fecal matter (the paper's words, not mine) the alleged smearing of fecal matter,by the aforementioned crosstown rival, all over their high school's Alumni Rock located just off the easement where the short bus picks up all of the special kids, and on, and on, and on.

That's it, chocomate kudasi*, sayonara means goodbye.

*half assed attempt at phonetic spelling of Japanese words that I don't even know the meaning of.

Greetings to all my new blogging buddies, if you stay till the end there will be snacks.

I saw some gamerboys in the parking lot of Kmart on Friday. They just had that gamerboy look about them, the glasses, the 1970's hair, the ass cracks, the sneakers, the ass cracks, the six pack of Jones Soda, and the baleful stare of a guy who has never talked to a woman in his life without stuttering or going home and masturbating about it afterwards. (Don't ask how I know.)

And yeah, Dexter is about to start and I will be taking screenshots because Dexter's sponsor, if you are to believe the previews from last week, will be sporting headlights.

Dexter's sponsor.



She's British, and I forget her name, but she used to be on Hustle, and who knows, maybe she even used to do the Hustle (Do the hustle!!!), and she curses with the most charming accent, and I just hope that Dexter doesn't kill her.

I think I invented the word gamerboy because nothing else fit.

I'll be George S. Kaufman, and you can take turns being the other guys.

My new goals for blogging.
1. Visit new blogs.
2. Trick the new blogs I visit into visiting me.
3. Endear myself to these new blogs.
4. Separate the new blogs into interesting blogs and boring blogs.
5. Delete the boring blogs after a pity comment or two.
6. Cultivate the interesting blogs and develop a circle of friends where witty give and take abounds, not unlike the Algonquin Round Table, or at least not unlike the big round table in the center of the dining area in the local McDonald's where they sit all day nursing one coffee, one fucking coffee, all day, and talking real loud, and whenever I drop a french fry or spill my diet coke, they all stop talking, and I can feel their eyes burning and ripping into my flesh, and I know they hate me, because I'm not like them, because I could never be like them, because I don't wear the "cool" sneakers, or the "cool" sweaters, or the "cool" hat with my favorite team's logo on it.
7. Become the focal point of this group.
8. Develop slang and code words to keep the outsiders outside.
9. Set aside one day a month for ... I don't know, something special, real special, like "write backwards day" or "who cares about world peace day, not us day" or maybe even something frivolous.
10. Eventually get around to tithing the rest of the group.

Cock Appreciation 101

For the past couple of months whenever I wake up in the morning my hand is on my cock.
I've been hesitant to write about this before, because, well, because it feels kind of strange to write about your cock, or I guess I should say my cock.
I'm just sort of touching it.
Making sure it's still there.
Making sure it still works.
Appreciating it.
[Insert picture of my hand on my cock HERE]

I should be doing something ... ANYTHING!!!

My stomach is making angry noises.
I want to go walk at the track at the community center but I think I'd have to make a pit stop every other lap.
The mail just passed, I am going to go check it.
My mail box is out by the road ... eh, I'm rural, I guess.
It is very windy today, all the leaves are blowing off the trees.
I feel like Walt Whitman.
My stomach tells me I'm full of shit.
And now the mail ...
Bill, bill, junk.

If my heart stops beating you'll be the first to know, unless somebody else is the first to know firster-er

It's raining.
I can hear the rain.
My eyes are sort of glazed over, and I'm having trouble typing, and I feel a sneeze coming on, but not just yet ...
NOW!!!!!!
Not one, but seven of them.
People have always said I sneeze like a cat, and I guess I do, rapidly and in quick succession.
Sort of like Ah.... chooo, chooo, chooo, chooo, chooo, chooo, chooo.
Just one Ah, followed by a lot of chooos.
And it's still raining.
And I can still hear it.
And my computer is making that noise, yeah, that noise.
And it's almost four in the morning, but I laugh at sleep!
Ha.
And sleep laughs back at me.
And we stare each other down.
Sleep, it's hands on it's hip, tapping it's foot, staring intently.
Me, playing it cool, grinning, showing utter disdain.
Sleep blinks ...
I win!!!
Fuck you sleep, I'm going to bed, and on my own terms, you bastard.

Don't make me whip out #117

Ok, I'm slowly starting to turn this into a real blog again, and remember when we all hated the word blog, but you know now ... well now, who the fuck cares what it's called.
So yeah, a real blog again, of course to do that I'll have to start visiting other real blogs, and leaving comments and shit, you know, I'll have to interact (((shudder))).
But yeah, I'm having fun here again.
You know with the posts that go nowhere.
And the pictures of boobs and twats (I'm sorry, I have to type "boobs and twats" at least once a week, it's in my contract.)
And more parenthetical asides !!! (!!!)
And it's almost time for this movie I started watching a couple nights ago with Polly Bergen, about her gay thirteen year old grandson, and her gay male nurse, and the whole coming of age gay in america, and did you know that back in the 60's Polly Bergen was the first female president of the United States, so eat your heart out Hillary, nobody cares who's second, just ask Buzz What'shisname, and where are the Polly Bergen's of my youth?

What's right is right, and what's left is left.

I think I should tell you that it's five thirty and I've been awake since four thirty after falling asleep at three.
I think I should tell you that one of the temporary crowns that I got a couple weeks ago, the one on the upper left side, is really hurting.
It's sort of swollen, or irritated, and the pain is kind of a dull throbbing pain, and the more I fixate on it the more it hurts.
Today is Friday (is it really Friday already?), and my next dental appointment, the one where he puts in the permanent crowns is next Monday.
I think I'll live, because it's not like the pain is constant, it comes and goes, and like I said, fixating on it only makes it worse, so it's only natural that late at night, or early in the morning, even if you aren't asleep, your mind is more relaxed, and oh great, now my left ear hurts, and my lower left back too, and as I look down at my left hand I notice that two of my fingers are missing, yes, two of them, the two smallest fingers on my left hand are definitely missing, there's no blood, there's no wound, it's like the two smallest fingers on my left hand never existed, and now I'm really getting scared, this is like something out of Kafka, Bob Kafka, the Bob Kafka who had the dorm room next to me when I spent a week in San Angelo Texas at an Air Force conference back in 1971, yeah, that Bob Kafka, THE BOB KAFKA THAT WAS MISSING THE TWO SMALLEST FINGERS ON HIS LEFT HAND!!!
I hope this isn't freaking you out, but fuck, I only have three fingers on my left hand, and my upper left temporary crown hurts, and my left ear hurts, and my lower left back hurts, and remember last week when I told you about the shooting pain that ran up my leg, my LEFT leg, and into my left testicle, remember that, and I hope that I didn't conjure up anything when I mentioned my left testicle, that is unless you wanted to conjure up something (nudge, nudge).
So anyway, he says as he clears his throat ...
I'm going back to bed, and leave my left testicle out of it, unless, well, just unless.

Google boz48730 and see what page the first naked photo of some girl with glasses, red hair, and fishnets turns up on. I'm betting it's page three.

I think I am going to pass out from the sheer excitement of being me.
But first I'd better ...
Wash my hands
Think about getting a hair cut
Clear my throat
Yeah, I'm about to pass out.
Yeah, naked girls love to read my blog while they are naked and fantasizing about me.

We Shall Overcome

I've been protested into submission.

The end of an era

I bought a new webcam this week.
It will be delivered tomorrow afternoon or early evening.
It was a great deal.
I couldn't turn it down.
I feel kind of melancholy though because my old webcam has been a real trooper.
I don't know how long I've had it.
Maybe three, maybe four years.
It still works great.
Except whenever I boot up my computer the webcam goes ...
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
So, to honor my old webcam I am going to spend it's remaining time snapping pics with it and posting them to a buzznet folder called
Old Webcam Extravaganza of Pics.
Feel free to pay your last respects.

A history of violins.

I like Maria Bello.



She is a great actress.
She can play slutty.
She can play corporate executive.
She can play slutty corporate executive.
She has nice boobs, a little small, but still nice, and excellent pokies, and when I say pokies I mean nipples, so why didn't I just say nipples, maybe it's the last vestiges of our American puritanical history, NIPPLES!!!
She has an Italian name, but doesn't look Italian.
I think she has had a nose job, but better a nose job than a boob job.
She was really good as a hooker in The Closer, and she was also really good as the wife in A History of Violence, where she dressed up in her high school cheerleader costume and role played with her husband, and ...
She was fucking awesome in the scene where her husband and her, after having a violent argument, sort of crawled up the stairs, quasi-raping each other all the way up.
But yeah, Maria Bello is some kind of hot.

I hear noises

I've deleted my last post.
It was a picture of my new shoes with me in them.
I just didn't feel right about the picture.
Maybe it was the black socks I was wearing.
I don't know.
I did figure out what I will do with the digital picture frame I bought yesterday.
Did I mention that I bought a digital picture frame yesterday?
Anyway, I'll fill it with pictures and give it to MB for xmas.
See, I've got two months to get it just the way I want it.
And ...
It has a seven inch LCD screen.
And ...
It works with all kinds of memory cards plus usb flash drives.
And ...
It plays mp3s.
And ...
It plays videos.
So ...
I guess I'm finished with my xmas shopping.
Yeah, I was going to say something about the Zune I bought, but I changed my mind.

In other news, I didn't buy anything today that I already have and don't really need another one of, but it's only 5pm, so there's still a chance

I'm really not sure what day it is.
I think it's Tuesday, but it might be Wednesday.
I'm worse off than I thought I was.
I just checked.
It's Wednesday, and I was just trying to be funny when I wrote that I thought it was Tuesday, but it might be Wednesday, because I really thought today was Tuesday.

I should go to the gym, but I am very sleepy, but maybe if go to the gym even in this sleepy state the endomorphs, or whatever, will kick and will be magically awakened .. ah haaaaa, and ok, it isn't endomorphs, but it's a word like endomorphs, and didn't I just go through this a post or two ago with allegory?
Fuck, what's the word, it's endo something.
I need a nap, and a lobotomy.

Naked pictures of Joyce DeWitt

I've finally stopped hallucinating, but now one of my temporary crowns is throbbing, and I just called the cable company because my onDemand is all screwy again ... AGAIN, so he told me to refresh it ... AGAIN, by unplugging my cable box for a minute, and letting it rest, and I think "letting it rest" is a technical term, or maybe it's an allegory, or one of those other words that I really don't know the meaning of but just throw out there because maybe it's the right word, and maybe I haven't stopped hallucinating after all, so I have to let it rest, and then plug it back in, and wait a half hour to see if it refreshes, and if it doesn't Mr. Allegory Man says I might have to get a new cable box, which is cool with me because I like new things, and yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm still hallucinating, either that or the ghost of John Ritter really is sitting on my shoulder offering me sage advice and naked pictures of Joyce DeWitt.

People ... stay away from the brown nail polish remover ... stay away from the brown nail polish remover

I am hallucinating because I used half of a ten ounce bottle of nail polish remover to clean some gunky residue off the bathroom floor.
I am GOD
I am DOG
I am the guy who spent even more money today when I bought a digital picture frame from Rite-Aid (the devil's drugstore), but it was on sale for $79.999999, and I had a twenty dollar gift card that I got from transferring a prescription from that other pharmacy with the name I can't remember because of the ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ...
I am GOD
I am DOG
I am LOU FUCKING REED
I am BOZ ... FOUR ... EIGHT ... SEVEN ... THREE ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZERO
I am the WALL LESS
Goo goo AH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Skip the part about my legs because the real post is about me buying stuff that I don't need.

I used to have hairy legs, but now I don't, and sometimes I miss having them.
I'll finish this later.

So, I've been on a buying spree the past few weeks.
Yeah, it's like I'm addicted to buying stuff, not just stuff, but stuff that I already have that is plenty good enough that I really don't need to buy more of it, like about a month ago I bought a new digital camera after just buying a new digital camera earlier this year to replace the digital camera that I bought about three years ago that was plenty good enough for whatever needs I may have, or whatever needs I may have thought I had, and then I bought a multifunction printer, ok, I didn't have a multifunction printer, so I guess that's the exception that proves the rule, but I could have bought a cheaper multifunction which would have been plenty good enough for my multifunctioning needs, so I guess there's that, and then I bought an area rug yesterday to place over the area rug that I bought two weeks ago, to replace the perfectly good area rug that I got about six months ago that I didn't quite like the size or color of, which is worth more than the two area rugs that I am now using put together and tripled in price, and ... I bought a clock radio slash cd player yesterday, but I already have a clock, and a thousand cd players, but I have top tell you that the blue LCD (LED???) numbers are mind trippingly tripping my mind in their awesomeness, and oh yeah, I forgot the new MP3 player I ordered last week, to replace the MP3 player that I ordered a week and a half ago but cancelled when the dot com that I ordered it from gave me attitude, but it couldn't have been much attitude because the MP3 player that I ordered last week is the same MP3 player that I ordered and cancelled and from the same dot com that gave me what I guess wasn't so much attitude after all, and then today ... from the same dot come I bought a new webcam, but seriously, I couldn't turn it down because it's a 100 dollar webcam that will be a twenty dollar webcam after the eighty dollar rebate is deducted from the final cost, and suddenly I've got this sharp stabbing pain in the back of my head, on the right side just above my neck, so I guess that's it, but it's ok, because that is all that I bought that I didn't really need, except for all the ink pens, and if it makes you feel any better I didn't buy the digital camera that I saw yesterday, but it was very tempting, but I didn't, and the pain, the pain, the stabbing pain feels like it will never go away.

And yeah, I forgot the shoes.

What's gnu?

My stomach is making audible gurgling sounds.
Maybe it's the glass of diet soda I just drank.
Maybe it's stomach cancer.
Maybe I'm possessed.
Maybe my stomach and I can get a job as morning drive time FM shock jocks Boz and Gurgle featuring Moonie Pottie in the eye in the sky traffic copter.
Maybe I'm going back to bed.

#11 would have been Morning Dew by Tim Rose

Random play on my Panasonic $25.00 2 Gig Mp3 Player.
1. Helpless - Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. The summer of 1970, and I hated the summer of 1970. I was in the Air Force and stationed on the island of Crete, and I was having trouble adjusting, because I was stubborn, and I refused to chill, and let the fact that I was in the military make me unable to enjoy one of the coolest places anyone could have hoped to be in the summer of 1970, but I got my act together and the fall and winter of 1970, and the spring and summer of 1971 were like one of those coming of age movies where things happened, some good, some great, some shitty, but, well, but yeah.
2. Green Onions - Booker T and the MGs. Sometime in 1963 or maybe 62. Made me want to learn how to play the bass guitar for about a week until I realized how hard it would be so I went back to making model cars, learning how to masturbate, and waiting for the Beatles to happen.
3. Time Has Come Today - The Chambers Brothers. Spring of 1968. A really long song, but not as long as Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie, but a little longer than The End by the Doors, and the exact same length to the second, and I'm serious, to the second of East/West by the Paul Butterfield Blues Band.
4. Rough Boys - Pete Townshend. Late 70's or early 80's, and yeah, if this song doesn't prove that Pete is a charter member of NAMBLA, well, nothing will. Go ahead and listen, and try to deny it, I dare you, I double dog dare you, and I quote " I want to hug and kiss you"
5. Timothy Leary's Dead, or maybe it's just Timothy Leary - The Moody Blues. The summer of 1968, and man, oh man, oh man, try listening to this while smoking something that someone told you was pot, no shit Boz, it's pot, and not seeing God or that guy who is like God from one of those fake religions, I mean it's just too heavy for someone who just turned 18 and is not college material to handle.
6. Bowling Shoes - Fountains of Wayne. I got nothing, this is the first time I've heard it, but I do like their song about being in love with their girl friends mother, and that other song about Hackensack, which is in New Jersey and which I probably spelled wrong.
7. Poor Side of Town - Johnny Rivers. Johnny Rivers was cool up to a point. I mean he didn't have a Beatle's haircut, but he did sing Secret Agent Man which was as cool as you could get until the Summer of Love made it irrelevant, and it's really NOT that hard to find nice things on the poor side of town either.
8. Higher and Higher - Jackie Wilson. Another one of those mid 60's songs which is dominating this list, but what can I say, I'm a mid 60's kind of guy, and even Van Morrison knew how cool Jackie Wilson was, and if I had a nickel for every time I typed "cool" in this post I could buy a pack of Marlboros' if I could go back in a time machine and buy them at mid-60's prices.
9. Laugh at Me - Sonny Bono. Sonny Bono was almost considered a musical genius back in the ... yeah, the mid-60's, back when he was still wearing his bear skin vest, and before he got his nose fixed, and before Cher cut off his balls, and did I ever tell you about the time I saw Sonny and Cher in a Howard Johnson's at a turnpike rest stop in either Pennsylvania or New York???
10. Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford. I wouldn't mind being a girl for a couple of minutes if I could sing this song like Lita Ford sings it, or maybe Lita Ford made a deal with the devil where she became a man for a few minutes so she could sing ... I went to a party the other night, I didn't get drunk I got in a fight ...

Ten's enough.

Periods, no not that kind, are not for Sunday

I'm sitting here half asleep, half dressed, half assed
Trying to psyche myself into going for a walk
But then again maybe I'll just go back to bed
Because it is after all Periods Are Not For Sunday ... Sunday
And no, dot dot dots are not periods
At least not at this time of the month
Ugh

The leaves are happening

I took MB out to see the leaves today.
She didn't embarrass me too much.

If Thursday night is "Download Christian Rock Night" and today is Friday, then I guess I'm going to hell, or stuck in Oscoda's homecoming parade.

Nice title for a non-existent post.

For my edification.

The phone woke me up an hour and fifteen minutes ago.
It wasn't a phone call.
It was the sound the phone makes when the receiver isn't put back into the handset properly.
You know the
Beep ..... beep ..... beep ..... beep beep beep beep beep beep (stop) (repeat ad infinitum)
So, I fixed the phone, I think, and ate breakfast ... don't ask.
And here I am.
And it's raining.
And it's still dark out.
Or maybe it's stopped raining because I can't hear it anymore.
And a truck, or a car with a bad muffler just drove by, probably someone on their way to work.
AND I JUST hit the caps lock by mistake, while I was pulling an sdhc memory card out of the memory card reader.
And I'm not convinced that I've seen the last of the heartburn I had last night (see previous post).
And the gym at the community center will be closed for the next four days because it's been rented out to the hospital for some kind of hospital gala, whatever that is.
And there was something whimsical that happened to me yesterday that I wanted to write about, but the heartburn hit before I got around to it, and now I can't remember what it was that I wanted to write about, or aboot, for my Canadian friends.
And I can hear the rain again.
And it's a quarter after seven.
And I'm going back to bed.
And I'll probably turn on the TV and try to find a movie that will fit the way I feel, but with female nudity, but not the boom chicka wow wow kind, more the girl with glasses with a tattoo at the base of her neck that is normally covered up by her hair, except when she's doing female nudity for my edification, and believe it or not I got the correct spelling of edification on the first try, but now I'm kind of unsure if edification is the right word, but yeah, I'm going back to bed, and do the TV thing, and I'll probably be awake by ten, and then I'll take the trash cans to the curb because it's trash day, and I hope the rain, that I can still hear, will have stopped by then.

Death be not proud

I had heartburn really bad tonight.
I honestly thought that I might have to call 911.
It was like someone stuck a knife into my chest just below by sternum.
I almost cried because it hurt so bad.
I thought it might be a heart attack even though I knew better.
I am not lying.
I have no idea what brought it on.
It just hit me BLAM!!!
Tums didn't help, but ...
I found some heartburn pills and popped a couple of them, then I laid down with a cold cloth on my forehead, and slowly, slowly, ever so slowly, the pain started to subside.
So, I guess I am better, but just writing about it is giving me a little twinge.

And ...
Speaking about dying.
I almost fell to my death taking this picture on Tuesday afternoon, of course if I had fallen to my death on Tuesday afternoon I wouldn't have had killer heartburn on Tuesday night, so I guess you have to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good, and the black jelly beans with the red jelly beans, and I actually like black jelly beans, but not mixed in with any other colors, or course black isn't a color, and it isn't a flavor either, but who are you to judge, ha, I didn't think so.

Ice cream is on sale this week.

I think I have finally figured out how to work my printer/copier/scanner.
It only took me a week and a half of headaches, and twelve copies of one picture that I didn't even want in the first place.
So, cough-cough-cough, if you have any tasteful photos lying around, and ...
Nah, well, yeah, but nah, but you could surprise me.

You'd better wear some boxing gloves in case some fool might wanna fight.

You know what smells good?
Aspirin smells good.
Go ahead go find a bottle.
You got it?
Open it up and take a whiff.
They smell like health, don't they.

It's not quite eight in the morning.
The gym opens at eight.
I think I'm going to go walk early today.
I put new laces in my shoes.
They look snazzy.
I hope someone notices.

The snazzy new laces and my faux skater boy power walking shoes that I got at Kmart for ten dollars that will soon be retired because my FRENCH shoes will be here by the end of the week.



The rug is sort of new too.
I bought it to match the laces.

Maybe I should clarify something.
I got the faux skater boy shoes from Kmart, not the snazzy laces.
I got the laces three pairs for a dollar at the dollar store in AuGres.

Maybe I should take the camera with me when I go this morning.
You see a lot of interesting things this time of the morning, or this time in the morning, I guess.

The shoes are in the mail.

I look different without my glasses.



I'm listening to my 2 gig mp3 player.
The Panasonic one that I got at the Evil Empire for 25 bucks, marked down from a hundred bucks.
I reformatted it tonight.
All new songs.
Natural Beauty by Neil Young is on now.
It's long and it's live, and there are crickets chirping in the background.
Ladies and Gentleman ...
Almost Grown by Chuck "My Ding-a-Ling" Berry.

My name is boz48730, and I'm a addict.

I walked thirteen miles in less than 24 hours at the gym.
I walked six miles last night, and I walked seven miles this afternoon.

I didn't do any spinning, which you would think involved spinning around in circles until you puke, pass out, or start listening to Christian Rock, but it's not, it's riding a stationary bike while someone motivates you ... by promising that you won't ever have to listen to Christian Rock, or Chris Rock, ever again.

I like Dexter and his girl friend Rita.



But, I like the actress that plays Rita even more.



Julie Benz, the actress who plays Rita, outside in her underwear.

Don't watch scary movies late at night or you'll end up blogging at all hours of the morning.

I realized today that I am a power walker, but not the kind that swings his arms like a retard. No, I'm the kind that averages 4.5 miles or more an hour. So I decided that I'd better buy some really good walking shoes so I don't lose any more toe nails or skin, so I looked around on the www for walking shoes, but walking shoes are like what you wear when you're 114 years old and the only walking you do is from the bed to your Amigo Power Scooter, so I changed my search to running shoes, and when you're doing 4.5 miles or more an hour you might as well say are you are almost running, or at least almost jogging, and what is jogging if not slow running ... ha!

And you know my criteria for buying anything.
It has to be on sale.
It has to be cool/different looking.
It has to be gray and orange.

So these are the shoes I bought.



They are the Lafuma Active Raid GTX XCR Sneaker(s)
And they were reduced from $119.95 to $34.89 at Amazon.
And they are from FRANCE, just like the Coneheads.
And they are gray and orange.
And they are cool/different looking, and if you don't believe me, believe what Lafuma says ...
Sounds like a great shoe for rugged trail running, fast packing, day hiking, or just looking cool standing in a puddle.

I think I've written this post before, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Songs that I remember playing on my mp3 while I walked almost six miles at the gym on Friday.
1. Homicide by 999, which is 666 on their ass.
2. Lucy at the Gym by Jill Sobule, she's the one who did the song I Kissed a Girl, which I thought was both sweet and highly arousing.
3. Riders on the Storm by the Doors, and Jim Morrison isn't really dead, he's living in the crawl space beneath my house with Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and the original Marlboro Man.
4. Happy by the Stones with Keith Richards singing lead, and I liked most of the Stones songs that Richards sang lead on.
5. Black Day in July by Gordon Lightfoot about the 1967 Detroit Riot, and yes, I remember the riot well.
6. The Motor City is Burning by John Lee Hooker also about the Detroit Riot, and whenever I hear a song by John Lee Hooker ... I said HOOKER ... whenever I hear a song by John Lee Hooker I sing along and feel cool.
7. Sonora's Death Row by Robert Earl Keen, who, like John Lee Hooker, also has three names, but I never feel cool when I sing along to any of his songs.
8. Rainy Day Man by Tom Rush, and he's from New Hampshire, or Vermont, you know, one of those skinny states in the northeast where nothing ever happens.
9. Baby's on Fire by Brian Eno, who is more of a genius than Brian Wilson ever was.
10. The Fat Angel by Donovan who is the father of actress Ione Skye, and isn't that a pretty name?
11. The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel, which was the last song I heard before induction into the Air Force on a cold and windy Friday morning in March of 1969 after downing four White Castles, an order of Fries, and a Coke on the drive to the induction center where I didn't have to sit next to Arlo Guthrie or any of the father rapers.

Foto Friday

The furnace guy did come, but he didn't get here until four.

My late lunch from the BK



Everything was very tasty.

The weather forecast said that there might be water spouts on the lake today, so I got all excited about taking pics, but alas, no water spouts, so I took a picture of myself instead.

Myself instead



The photo copier on my multifunction printer is fantastic. I've already used all ten free 4x6 photo papers that came with it.

Me looking at the photos I copied and salivating



And last but not least ...
Me in the bathroom at the gym after walking five miles, and why am I smiling after walking five miles, maybe it's because Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight is playing on my MP3, or maybe I am just hallucinating.

There's a leaf stuck in a spider web outside my window.

It is very cold today.
Cold enough to turn on the furnace for the first time.
I turned on the furnace.
It didn't work.
I called the plumbing and heating guy.
The guy that I don't trust.
He said he'll have someone out this afternoon to have a look at it.
I'm laying 50/50 odds that someone will be out this afternoon.
I hope the furnace doesn't need a crown.

I taught you everything you know about blogging, but I didn't teach you everything I forgot.

Had my dentist's appointment.
The one filling that could have been two fillings turned into two crowns.
The dentist and the busty Samoan dental assistant did the preliminary work today.
I was in the chair three hours,
During the three hours I had two bathroom breaks.
Two crowns ...
I could buy two computers for the cost of the two crowns.
I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, sleeping off the novocaine.
The time I didn't spend in bed I spent eating.
I had two Danish.
I had two bowls of ice cream with cool whip.
I had two bowls of chicken soup.
I had a cheesecake sort of thing with cherries.
I might have had more, but I don't remember.
My jaw still hurts.
And I think I caught some kind of intestinal virus because it was cold today and I wore a short sleeve shirt when I should have been wearing a long sleeve shirt and a jacket.
I slept through a movie where Samuel L. Jackson played a crazy dreadlocked vagrant that yelled a lot, what else is new.
These are the socks I wore all day today.