Ten things you probably already knew except for the ones that I made up just for this.

1. Has anyone ever tried to run you over in a car? Yes, twice.

2. Have you ever been tied up? HUH ... oh, yes, once, I was in a bank that was getting robbed and they tied everyone up and stuck guns in our faces and threatened to kill us, but they didn't, and then I got interviewed by the FBI, but I don't think they ever caught the guys.

3. What are you listening to right now ... NOW? ZZTop's Greatest Hits, Sharp Dressed Man.

4. Have you ever had a switchblade knife pressed against your throat? Yes, but it was by my best friend, and he was high so I didn't hold it against him, but I was a little concerned that he might hiccup or something and accidentally slice me from ear to ear.

5. Have you ever been in jail? No, but I keep having dreams that I'm an ex-con.

6. Has anything out of the ordinary ever happened on your birthday? Yes, I stepped on a rusty nail and had to get a tetanus shot on my sixth birthday, my grandmother died on my seventh birthday, a former football player murdered his ex-wife and another guy on my 47th birthday, and I had to put my father in a nursing home on my 50th birthday.

7. Have you ever been in a house fire, a hurricane, or a plane crash? Yes, yes, almost.

8. Have you ever been hit in the head with a croquet ball? Yes, I guess I was about six or seven years old and some friends were playing croquet in the back yard, and I was fascinated by the path of the ball, so I leaned over an put my head on the ground and watched as the ball rolled up and BAM hit me right in the forehead.

9. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I had sex with a girl with a broken leg.

10. What's the weather like outside? Snow and drizzle, there's a weather advisory out, but it's a pretty lame one that calls for light snow and drizzle, and I remember when they only had weather advisories if they were expecting a blizzard or the Apocalypse, go figure, and I blame the MTV and music videos.