What I do at five in the morning when I can't sleep

I answer spam email ...

FOR YOUR COMPENSATION
DEAR FRIEND,
I DIDN’T FORGOT YOUR PAST EFFORT BY TRYING TO HELP ME, NOW I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THOSE FUNDS TRANSFERRED UNDER THE COOPERATION OF A NEW PARTNER FROM CHILE. CONTACT MY SECRETARY IN COTONOU DE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF BENIN BECAUSE I HAVE LEFT THE WHOLE INSTRUCTION TO HER ON YOUR BEHALF AND INSTRUCT HER WHERE TO SEND THE $800.000.00 WITH OUT ANY FURTHER DELAY FOR YOUR COMPENSATION.
HER NAME IS MISS M. Eze
EMAIL:john_best56@yahoo.fr
PHONE: 229-9369010.
NB: NOTE: BELLOW IS THE REQUIRED INFORMATIONS YOU WILL SEND TO MY SECRETARY.
(1) YOUR FULL NAMES
(2) YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS
(3) YOUR DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER AND HOUSE PHONE WITH FAX IF ANY.
IN THIS MOMENT, I'M VERY BUSY HERE IN CHILE BECAUSE OF THE INVESTMENT PROJECTS, WHICH THE NEW PARTNER AND I ARE HAVING AT HAND.
REGARDS
MR. best williams

MY REPLY

My friend Mr Best.
I indeed did think you forgot about my past effort in helping you, and
indeed I think $800.005.62 should just about cover it, and yes I added
an extra $5.62 for interest.
OOPS, I GUESS I SHOULD TYPE IN UPPER CASE TOO.
HERE IS THE INFORMATION YOU REQUESTED FROM ME FOR TO SEND TO YOUR SECRETARY.
MY FULL NAMES: BEN DOVER
MY HOUSE ADDRESS: 666 GRAND ENNUI AVENUE, BUZZNET OHIOWA
MY DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER AND HOUSE PHONE WITH FAX IF ANY: 867-5309
ASK FOR JENNY
HERE IS HOPING I HERE FROM YOU SOON.
PS COULD YOU SEND CASH? TENS AND TWENTIES IF POSSIBLE
PPS WHAT'S YOUR SECRETARY'S NAME? I AM GOING TO PRETEND HER NAME IS
MYRNA. IS SHE HOT? DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD GO ON A DATE WITH ME? MYRNA
IS A PRETTY NAME, ISN'T IT? I BET SHE IS A TYPICAL MYRNA TOO, YOU
KNOW, KIND OF FLIGHTY AND KOOKY, BUT YOU CAN COUNT ON HER WHEN THE
CHIPS ARE DOWN. GOD, MYRNA SOUNDS HAWT!!!
YOURS TRULY
BEN DOVER