My life isn't falling apart, but my house is.

Why do all the chicks dig John Cusack?
I mean he's never even been in an ice skating movie.

Sing sing sing then give it a rest and sing some more

It's three in the morning.
It's 10 degrees out.
I'm listening to the fourth of my four mp3 players.
The mp3 player is playing a song from some whiny chick that I'll probably delete one of these days.

We have company this week.
It's my sister and her husband.
They aren't staying here.
They are staying at the Days Inn.
They have a microwave and fridge in their room, and there is a continental breakfast and complimentary newspapers in the morning.

I have to be nice to my brother in law this visit.
He replaced a circuit breaker and installed a new light fixture in the kitchen.
No, this isn't the brother in law who is an electrician who whenever he calls asks if the house needs any repairs, because I am right brained not left brained, and I tell him yes, and he says he'll come up and take care of them, but he's said he'll be coming up to take care of them for six years, and he hasn't made it up here yet.
No it isn't the brother in law who is an electrician, it's the other brother in law, the one who gets on every ones nerves, so I guess I'll have to put up with him getting on my nerves, but I did give some gum, so maybe not.

July you're a woman

I think I've lost my way.
And I bought another hat today, but I didn't buy another mp3 player, and did I tell you that I had to return the refurbished mp3 I bought, the first refurbished one I bought, because I bought another one, another refurbished one, I dunno, sometime last week, early in the morning, when my mind was weak and impressionable, and I think that might be the problem, that and HAM!!!
It's three thirty, I'm going to bed, and I'll be sleeping under three covers tonight, because it's another cold one, and I think I'd better go out to the shed and see if MB is warm enough, and that she has enough drinking water.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I keed, I keed.
So, yeah, goodnight, and if you hear something under your bed tonight it's probably me.

It's zero degrees right now and I just ate ice cream

I wasted today, totally wasted it.

I slept almost as long as I said I was going to sleep in the post where I said I was going to sleep till 2 in the afternoon.

I didn't make my bed.

I wasted a lot of time playing online generic Scrabbble (Scrabulous) against a robot, but I won most of the games, but my victories were tempered by the fact that I used HINTS, which makes me feel such shame, but the robot is all HINTS, so I guess I don't feel as much shame as I usually feel when I feel shame, I guess.

I watched Hostel 2 tonight, and it was really bad, but I did notice that Bijou Phillips was in it, and for those of you who didn't know Bijou is the youngest of the three Phillips' half sisters fathered by former Mamas and the Papas leader John Phillips, or is it Philips, but who cares, anyway the three Phillips' half sisters are, and should Phillips be possessive in this case, I'll pretend that it is and continue to refer to them as the three Phillip's half sisters, and the three Phillips' half sisters are ...
1. Mackenzie Phillips from John Phillips first marriage, you know, the one who wasn't Valerie Bertinelli on One Day at a Time.
2. Chyna Phillips from John Phillips marriage to former Mamas and the Papas female singer that didn't choke to death on a HAM SANDWICH, Michelle Phillips, not to be confused with China Kantner who is the daughter of former Jefferson Airplane members Paul Kantner and Grace Slick, and was in one very funny movie about dopers back in the 70's, that was made in the 80's or maybe 90's,(AIRHEADS!!!) and yeah, Chyna Phillips was in Wilson Phillips, the group that had the two ugly daughters of Beachboy founder Brian Wilson, the guy who had a sandbox in his living room, and didn't get out of bed for 12 years back in the 70's, and yeah, the 70's were the only decade that actually and truly had twelve years instead of ten years, and you can look it up if you don't believe me.
And finally ...
3. Bijou Phillips from John Phillips third marriage to actress Genievive Waite, and I'm not sure of the spelling of Genievive, so ... ok, I'm so anal that I looked it up and it's Genevieve, and I wasn't very far off, and here is something interesting ... John Phillips and Genevieve Waite were such hardcore drug users at the time that Michelle Phillips, yeah, the second wife, and mother of Chyna, tried to get custody of Bijou Phillips, but I don't know is she got custody, but who cares, and every third character I type is a mistake so fuck it.
So yeah, Hostel 2 sucked.
End of post.

100% Dylan Approved

I'm really tired, but it is really bright out, so I think I'll close the curtains and sleep fitfully till two in the afternoon ... just kidding, hahahahaha, what kind of lazy ass would sleep till two in the afternoon (averting my eyes and looking around shiftfully, and is shiftfully another one of those words that I just sort of made up to describe what I am doing when I can't think of a real word to describe what I am doing.)
Goodnight Ozzie.
Goodnight Harriet.
Goodnight David.
Goodnight Ricky.
And goodnight John Ritter wherever ye may be. (yeah, ye)

I had pizza tonight

It's Friday night and I am taking a break from watching the movie Zodiac.
I was 18 or 19 when the Zodiac killings started, but I really don't remember much about them because I had just enlisted in the air force, and I hardly ever watched television, read the newspapers, or listened to the radio, and really, when you are in the service you are in a very insulated environment where if something doesn't effect you directly it doesn't effect you at all.

I hit my head on the range hood the other day, and I still feel kind of groggy.
That might explain why I bought my fourth mp3 player yesterday, and seriously ... WHY DO KEEP BUYING MP3 PLAYERS, and that's not a rhetorical question.

I guess that's it. I'm going to go back to the movie now, and how come whenever Jake Gyllnehalwhatshisname comes on screen I get a gay vibe ... oh, yeah, Brokeback Mountain, and yeah but, I like his sister Maggie better, and you know I watched Clerks 2 the other night, it only took me about four tries to finally finish it, and then I watched Big Nothing with the guy from Friends, and the guy from Shaun of the Dead, and a few other people that I didn't know, and it wasn't bad, well, it was better than Clerks 2, and I saw another movie, a Japanese movie, that was in the whole Saw, Hostel, let's kill teenagers genre, but this was better than either Saw or Hostel because they killed a shitload more teenagers and the killings were government sponsored, and now my eyes are starting to water, so I'm done with Boz's Moviez Reviewz.

What I do at five in the morning when I can't sleep

I answer spam email ...

FOR YOUR COMPENSATION
DEAR FRIEND,
I DIDN’T FORGOT YOUR PAST EFFORT BY TRYING TO HELP ME, NOW I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THOSE FUNDS TRANSFERRED UNDER THE COOPERATION OF A NEW PARTNER FROM CHILE. CONTACT MY SECRETARY IN COTONOU DE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF BENIN BECAUSE I HAVE LEFT THE WHOLE INSTRUCTION TO HER ON YOUR BEHALF AND INSTRUCT HER WHERE TO SEND THE $800.000.00 WITH OUT ANY FURTHER DELAY FOR YOUR COMPENSATION.
HER NAME IS MISS M. Eze
EMAIL:john_best56@yahoo.fr
PHONE: 229-9369010.
NB: NOTE: BELLOW IS THE REQUIRED INFORMATIONS YOU WILL SEND TO MY SECRETARY.
(1) YOUR FULL NAMES
(2) YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS
(3) YOUR DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER AND HOUSE PHONE WITH FAX IF ANY.
IN THIS MOMENT, I'M VERY BUSY HERE IN CHILE BECAUSE OF THE INVESTMENT PROJECTS, WHICH THE NEW PARTNER AND I ARE HAVING AT HAND.
REGARDS
MR. best williams

MY REPLY

My friend Mr Best.
I indeed did think you forgot about my past effort in helping you, and
indeed I think $800.005.62 should just about cover it, and yes I added
an extra $5.62 for interest.
OOPS, I GUESS I SHOULD TYPE IN UPPER CASE TOO.
HERE IS THE INFORMATION YOU REQUESTED FROM ME FOR TO SEND TO YOUR SECRETARY.
MY FULL NAMES: BEN DOVER
MY HOUSE ADDRESS: 666 GRAND ENNUI AVENUE, BUZZNET OHIOWA
MY DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER AND HOUSE PHONE WITH FAX IF ANY: 867-5309
ASK FOR JENNY
HERE IS HOPING I HERE FROM YOU SOON.
PS COULD YOU SEND CASH? TENS AND TWENTIES IF POSSIBLE
PPS WHAT'S YOUR SECRETARY'S NAME? I AM GOING TO PRETEND HER NAME IS
MYRNA. IS SHE HOT? DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD GO ON A DATE WITH ME? MYRNA
IS A PRETTY NAME, ISN'T IT? I BET SHE IS A TYPICAL MYRNA TOO, YOU
KNOW, KIND OF FLIGHTY AND KOOKY, BUT YOU CAN COUNT ON HER WHEN THE
CHIPS ARE DOWN. GOD, MYRNA SOUNDS HAWT!!!
YOURS TRULY
BEN DOVER

It's me boz, and it's good to be back.

I'm back, and my hands smell like bleach, and it's almost three in the morning, and if you promise not to laugh I'll tell you a few secrets about myself.
I don't know how to swim, or drive a stick shift, or blow my nose, or use a blow torch.

Eep eep eep and other things that crack me up

Five Things That I Think Are Funny by KILLERZZZOMG48730
1. Poop eating dogs, I mean c'mon, it's poop, and they're eating it!!!
2. That funny little eep eep eep noise that boz makes when he's asleep.
3. Fat people trying to tie their shoelaces.
4. ALF bloopers.


That show still cracks me up.

5. The look on boz's face when he realizes that he has put on his underpants inside out and backwards.

Filling in for boz will be ...

Hello, I am the imaginary cat that boz refers to as Mr. Feeny, but Mr. Feeny is my slave name, and I would prefer to be known as KILLERZZZOMG48730.
Anyway, boz tweaked his back and he won't be posting for awhile, and he pleaded with me to fill in for him.
If you have any questions, or requests just leave me a comment or drop me an email at KILLERZZZOMG48730@gmail.com, and I will get back to you.
Yours truly
KILLERZZZOMG48730

He's Mr. Feeny, Feeny, Feeny, my lovable, but imaginary cat.

Mr. Feeny hasn't been the same since he got back from court ordered obedience training.

Bottled water ... oh BOTTLED water, that's different.

I've already sneezed 23 times today and it's only 7:30 in the morning, this could be a record breaking day.

Mr. Feeny kicking the snot out of Danny Tanner, a dog that I unsuccessfully foster dog sat for back before Mr. Feeny was diagnosed as having a personality disorder.



Many imaginary people have asked me how I found pictures of Mr. Feeny my imaginary cat.
It was easy, I just did an imaginary Google image search for Hitler cat.

Do real men have cats even if they are just imaginary ones?

Mr. Feeny is asleep next to my keyboard so I'll have to make this post quick.



He's adorable, isn't he.

Conversations only I can hear.

Boz, you haven't posted for awhile, how come?

My cat's been sick.

You don't have a cat ...

My IMAGINARY cat.

What's your imaginary cat's name?

Mr. Feeny.

What are you eating?

A shortbread cookie with caramel frosting.

What is the last thing that MB said to you?

Is this guy a woman?

Was he?

No, well, he had a beard, I mean he had a beard, but not the Friends of Dorothy kind of beard, he had a beard ... beard, and he's the host of one of the movie shows on TCM, not the obviously gay one, the subliminally gay one, not that there is anything wrong with being either one.

Gotta run, Mr. Feeny just puked in the imaginary koi pond.