1. Fairport Convention - Come All Ye
2. Jackie Lomax - Sour Milk Sea
3. Steve Earle - I Ain't Ever Satisfied
4. Lou Reed - Coney Island Baby
5. Julie Brown - The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun
6. Bob Dylan - Boots Of Spanish Leather
7. Guided By Voices - I Am A Scientist
8. Graham Parker - Local Girls
9. Bar Kays - Soul Finger
10 John Stewart - California Bloodlines
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I think it's time for a haircut.
Monday, November 17, 2008
1 - 18
1. So, I'm going Florida next month.
2. And I've got all these things I have to straighten out first.
3. Oh yeah, I've already got a ticket ... both ways ... on a jet.
4, And if you give me your address I'll send you a post card.
5. You know, one of those funny Florida type postcards.
6. Or maybe some babe in a bikini.
7. It's up to you.
8. You decide.
9. You know who I can't stand?
10. I don't know either.
11. But back to the things I have to straighten out before my trip ...
12. Bills, bills, bills.
13. I'm going to be gone during overlapping billing periods, and I don't want any past due penalties, because that's just the way I roll.
14. So I guess I'll have to contact the different places that I have to pay, and you know, figure out a way to pay them.
15. I'm tired.
16. No, I'm not really tired.
17. I'm just going to go hang out on buzznet with all my cool friends.
18. Later.
2. And I've got all these things I have to straighten out first.
3. Oh yeah, I've already got a ticket ... both ways ... on a jet.
4, And if you give me your address I'll send you a post card.
5. You know, one of those funny Florida type postcards.
6. Or maybe some babe in a bikini.
7. It's up to you.
8. You decide.
9. You know who I can't stand?
10. I don't know either.
11. But back to the things I have to straighten out before my trip ...
12. Bills, bills, bills.
13. I'm going to be gone during overlapping billing periods, and I don't want any past due penalties, because that's just the way I roll.
14. So I guess I'll have to contact the different places that I have to pay, and you know, figure out a way to pay them.
15. I'm tired.
16. No, I'm not really tired.
17. I'm just going to go hang out on buzznet with all my cool friends.
18. Later.
Friday, November 14, 2008
I hate the 80's and you might as well throw in the last couple years of the 70's as well.
So, I was driving home from the store this evening and a Pat Benatar song came on the radio, ok, and I don't mean to go all hating on Pat Benatar but ...
I have always felt that her head was way too small for her body, and now with the help of Google Image Search I have photographic proof.
Hmmmm, maybe this isn't a good example, but I'm pretty sure that this photo has been drastically retouched.
Ah, yes, this is better, a certified un-retouched photograph of Pat Benatar.
I bet she isn't wearing any make-up either.
I have always felt that her head was way too small for her body, and now with the help of Google Image Search I have photographic proof.
Hmmmm, maybe this isn't a good example, but I'm pretty sure that this photo has been drastically retouched.
Ah, yes, this is better, a certified un-retouched photograph of Pat Benatar.
I bet she isn't wearing any make-up either.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
You wanted a post, you got a post.
Why I am awake at four thirty in the morning.
1. I'm worried about the Two Coreys.
2. I'm thinking about how funny it would be to see a video of cats on an automated treadmill.
3. I just finished making a big picture of lemonade for anyone who would like to mow my lawn.
4. And when I say picture I mean pitcher.
5. And now I can't get the image of the giant smiling pitcher of Kool-Aid out of my head, and if I do ever get to sleep I'll probably dream about him ... AGAIN, and let's hope that this time it's not one of *those* dreams.
6. I think if I were a cartoon character I would be Daffy Duck, or maybe Sylvester the cat's son, who I am sure has a name, and I could probably do a Google and find out, but ... ok, I will.
7. Ok, his name was Junior, and how much of a let down is that, seriously, how much thought went into that, and I know that Junior was just a tertiary character, but still.
8. Ha, I worked tertiary into a post!!!
9. I wonder if any of my buzznet friends are around?
10. They all think I am incredibly handsome, and yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but they depend on me so much, that, well, what harm can it do, I mean, I can play incredibly handsome if I have to.
1. I'm worried about the Two Coreys.
2. I'm thinking about how funny it would be to see a video of cats on an automated treadmill.
3. I just finished making a big picture of lemonade for anyone who would like to mow my lawn.
4. And when I say picture I mean pitcher.
5. And now I can't get the image of the giant smiling pitcher of Kool-Aid out of my head, and if I do ever get to sleep I'll probably dream about him ... AGAIN, and let's hope that this time it's not one of *those* dreams.
6. I think if I were a cartoon character I would be Daffy Duck, or maybe Sylvester the cat's son, who I am sure has a name, and I could probably do a Google and find out, but ... ok, I will.
7. Ok, his name was Junior, and how much of a let down is that, seriously, how much thought went into that, and I know that Junior was just a tertiary character, but still.
8. Ha, I worked tertiary into a post!!!
9. I wonder if any of my buzznet friends are around?
10. They all think I am incredibly handsome, and yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but they depend on me so much, that, well, what harm can it do, I mean, I can play incredibly handsome if I have to.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I just poked a hole in my ear drum, but that's ok, because I couldn't hear out of that ear anyway.
I almost hyperventilated at the store today, and I'm serious too.
My sinus were so bad that I couldn't breathe through my nose, and before I realized that I could breathe through my mouth I was in full out hyperventilated mode, and where are the paper or plastic guys when you need them, because I could have used a paper bag for sure, but you probably already knew that, and I wish I knew what caused my sinus to do that, because not only is it rude, it is a hazard to my health.
My sinus were so bad that I couldn't breathe through my nose, and before I realized that I could breathe through my mouth I was in full out hyperventilated mode, and where are the paper or plastic guys when you need them, because I could have used a paper bag for sure, but you probably already knew that, and I wish I knew what caused my sinus to do that, because not only is it rude, it is a hazard to my health.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Monday is as Monday does.
I thought I made a post in here about three this morning.
I must be losing my mind, wait, there it is.
S'ok now.
I must be losing my mind, wait, there it is.
S'ok now.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
On Sunday it never seems old.
Oh, my precious blog, please forgive me for neglecting you.
I've been wooed by others, but don't despair.
I proclaim by all that is holy that ummmmmmmmmmmm.
Hold on, I have to go check out buzznet.
Be back in a bit.
See ya, wouldn't want to be ya. har har har har.
I've been wooed by others, but don't despair.
I proclaim by all that is holy that ummmmmmmmmmmm.
Hold on, I have to go check out buzznet.
Be back in a bit.
See ya, wouldn't want to be ya. har har har har.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
I'm posting, ok, I'm posting
Ten ways you can identify a stalker.
1. She is jealous of your buzznet friends, and will probably sacrifice a small domesticated animal when she finds out that this will also be posted on buzznet.
2. She claims she lives on Guam, a made up place if there ever was one.
3. She has many cats.
4. She names all her cats after Martins Sheen's children.
5. She considers blood one of the basic food groups.
6. She believes the NKOTB live in her spare bedroom and the gay one is stealing her underwear.
7. She thinks everyone lusts after her feet.
8. She has an imaginary lover that looks like Jackie Earle Haley.
9. She makes all her important life decisions based on the findings of her Magic 8 Ball.
10. She keeps a Nancy Kerrigan dream diary. No, she keeps two Nancy Kerrigan dream diaries. One is PG13 and the other one is R rated.
1. She is jealous of your buzznet friends, and will probably sacrifice a small domesticated animal when she finds out that this will also be posted on buzznet.
2. She claims she lives on Guam, a made up place if there ever was one.
3. She has many cats.
4. She names all her cats after Martins Sheen's children.
5. She considers blood one of the basic food groups.
6. She believes the NKOTB live in her spare bedroom and the gay one is stealing her underwear.
7. She thinks everyone lusts after her feet.
8. She has an imaginary lover that looks like Jackie Earle Haley.
9. She makes all her important life decisions based on the findings of her Magic 8 Ball.
10. She keeps a Nancy Kerrigan dream diary. No, she keeps two Nancy Kerrigan dream diaries. One is PG13 and the other one is R rated.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I think I'm going to turn this into a dream posting blog because that's all I ever do, that and surf porn
I dreamt last night that I gave Jackie Earle Haley, you know, that bad ass kid Kelly Leak from all the Bad News Bears movies, yeah him, I dreamt that I gave Jackie Earle Haley a flash light, and I think he thought it was some kind of sex toy until I told him that sometimes a flash light is just a flash light.
He nodded knowingly.
JEH then
JEH now
He nodded knowingly.
JEH then
JEH now
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Erg
It's almost seven in the morning and I just woke up after not falling asleep till four thirty in the morning, and I just looked outside and saw that animals have knocked over the Thursday morning take out the trash trash cans that I took out Wednesday evening.
Photographic proof that the Thursday morning trash trash cans that I took out Wednesday evening have been knocked over.
I am much too sleepy to go out and turn the trash cans over, ok, they've already been turned over, but you know what I mean, you know, put the trash cans upright, but upright just seems like such a priggish word, and I'm so sleepy, so I'm not thinking too straight, well, I'm STRAIGHT, but, well, you know what I mean, and yeah, I bet you're thinking, oh, right boz, you're too sleepy to go turn over the trash cans, but not too sleepy to take a half a dozen pictures through the living room window, or not too sleepy to make this journal entry, and all I can say is BUSTED.
Good night, errr, morning.
Photographic proof that the Thursday morning trash trash cans that I took out Wednesday evening have been knocked over.
I am much too sleepy to go out and turn the trash cans over, ok, they've already been turned over, but you know what I mean, you know, put the trash cans upright, but upright just seems like such a priggish word, and I'm so sleepy, so I'm not thinking too straight, well, I'm STRAIGHT, but, well, you know what I mean, and yeah, I bet you're thinking, oh, right boz, you're too sleepy to go turn over the trash cans, but not too sleepy to take a half a dozen pictures through the living room window, or not too sleepy to make this journal entry, and all I can say is BUSTED.
Good night, errr, morning.
Friday, May 02, 2008
It sucks getting old.
That's what my sister said to me the last time we talked about our mother.
She carries on conversations with the television.
She talks to Perry Mason, and Hawkeye Pierce, and Laura Ingalls, and Nellie Olson.
She talks to neighbors.
She talks to friends.
She talks to relatives.
She talks to people who are no longer here.
I used to try and tell her that it was just the television, but she has always been stubborn and she never believed me.
I even yelled at her once, and for that I am very ashamed.
Now I just let her talk and agree with whatever she says.
It worries me, but I guess it could be worse.
It sucks getting old.
She carries on conversations with the television.
She talks to Perry Mason, and Hawkeye Pierce, and Laura Ingalls, and Nellie Olson.
She talks to neighbors.
She talks to friends.
She talks to relatives.
She talks to people who are no longer here.
I used to try and tell her that it was just the television, but she has always been stubborn and she never believed me.
I even yelled at her once, and for that I am very ashamed.
Now I just let her talk and agree with whatever she says.
It worries me, but I guess it could be worse.
It sucks getting old.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
It's good being boz
The much talked about, the much anticipated, the totally awesome package from abrowncat.
Seriously, this is just about the coolest package I have ever gotten.
The contents:
1. A Nestle Treasures Dark Chocolate Truffle candy bar, which I tried not to eat before I took this picture, but it didn't work, and it was very good, and it was TRUFFLES!!!
2. A mouse pad with waves and everything on it which will always remind me of Annette, and Gidget, and all the other little surf chickies from all the little surf movies of the mid 60's.
3. A set of 10 photo frame cards for photos and stuff.
4. 8 velcro utility ties, which I might be able to use as handcuffs or at least finger cuffs.
5. A miniature rubber pirate duckie, and I can tell it's a pirate because he is holding a map under his wing with X marking the spot.
6. An easy open pop 'n pull for pop top cans, which hopefully MB will be able to use so she doesn't have to wake me up in the middle of the night when she wants ANOTHER beer.
7. An inked stamp which reads "I'd rather be ..." which will be very useful when I found out where, or what, I'd rather be.
8. A 15 pack of Glow Stick Bracelets which I'll be sure to use when the Senior Center has their next rave. (Ok, seriously, I have never been to a senior center in my life ... because I'm not old enough, and I was just making a joke, ok??? ok???)
9. Pencils ... pencils ... and more pencils, and did any of you, while you were in school, ever drop a pencil on the floor so you could sneak a look up the skirt of the hot girl who sat behind you?
10. A magic towel that you place in water and then watch expand into a towel that is 100% cotton, which will be great if I ever go on vacation, or to jail, and have limited packing space.
11. A Salonpas patch for aches and pains ... wait, there are 20 patches, so maybe I can mummify myself, and seriously, I have enough aches and pains where it would take 20 patches to, uhhh, take care of all my aches and pains.
12. A pad of Alaska sticky notes, and I'm pretty sure that abrowncat didn't get these in Alaska, but she might have, and my oldest nephew was born in Alaska just a few months after the Great Alaskan Earthquake of 1964.
And now the two BIG gifts, not that the other gifts aren't BIG gifts, it's just that these two are even BIGGER than the other BIG gifts.
13. A C.S.I t-shirt ... CSI ... Can't Stand Idiots ... which would probably be the t-shirt you would get if the "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt just didn't cut it any more.
14. A Peanut Butter and Jelly Time t-shirt with the dog that I don't know the name of from Family Guy dressed in a banana costume and shaking his marachis ... cha cha cha, and I do like peanut butter, but I'm pretty mehhhh about jelly, but I will wear this t-shirt with pride, and I promise I will do a Google search and find out the dog's name, and you know, I'm not sure if I am more like the dog that I don't know the name of, or Stewie, but I know I'm like one of them.
This is a seriously totally awesome package.
Thanks ABC!!!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I'll take Mom & Pop for $200.00 Alex
I hired Mom & Pop's raking service to take care of the leaves in my yard, but I'm starting to get a little worried.
You know the old saying about never eating at a diner called Mom's or playing poker with a guy name Pop, I think that may carry over to leaf raking too.
When I told a friend about Mom & Pop she replied thusly in a series of frantic emails:
1. Forget mom and pop's raking service, I will rake your yard for the small fee of $7,000!!!!!!!!
2. I am a little worried that mom and pop are really coming over to case the joint, so be on alert. I saw this once in Home Alone, except your part was played by Macaulay Culkin and mb's part was cut.
3. Mom and pop are definitely planning to a.) rob you blind, or b.) try to get you involved in a pyramid scheme
4. You will get sick of the pop tarts pretty quickly i am guessing. Mom and pop probably love them and will eat them along with YOUR LIVER!!!!!!!!!
5. You made a video of yourself eating pop tarts??????? That will be all that is left to remember you by once mom and pop harvest your organs, so you should post this video.
6. I am just checking to see if you are alive or if mom and pop gutted you.
7. I was hoping that was a picture of mom and pop gutting you.
8. Gee, do you think your sickness has anything to do with that snickers bar? I hope you didn't eat or drink anything mom and pop brought you either.
As you can see she also warned me about the dangers of Pop Tarts and Snicker's bar.
You know the old saying about never eating at a diner called Mom's or playing poker with a guy name Pop, I think that may carry over to leaf raking too.
When I told a friend about Mom & Pop she replied thusly in a series of frantic emails:
1. Forget mom and pop's raking service, I will rake your yard for the small fee of $7,000!!!!!!!!
2. I am a little worried that mom and pop are really coming over to case the joint, so be on alert. I saw this once in Home Alone, except your part was played by Macaulay Culkin and mb's part was cut.
3. Mom and pop are definitely planning to a.) rob you blind, or b.) try to get you involved in a pyramid scheme
4. You will get sick of the pop tarts pretty quickly i am guessing. Mom and pop probably love them and will eat them along with YOUR LIVER!!!!!!!!!
5. You made a video of yourself eating pop tarts??????? That will be all that is left to remember you by once mom and pop harvest your organs, so you should post this video.
6. I am just checking to see if you are alive or if mom and pop gutted you.
7. I was hoping that was a picture of mom and pop gutting you.
8. Gee, do you think your sickness has anything to do with that snickers bar? I hope you didn't eat or drink anything mom and pop brought you either.
As you can see she also warned me about the dangers of Pop Tarts and Snicker's bar.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
10 Cd's that I didn't know what I was thinking about when I bought them
I don't think I've purchased a CD in about 7 or 8 years. I think the last CD I purchased was a Lonnie Donnegan Greatest Hits collection, and seriously, why isn't he in the rock and roll hall of fame, but anyway, yeah, I don't buy Cd's anymore, I just download now, and yeah, I do it LEGALLY (smirk), so, yeah, here are 10 Cd's that I didn't know what I was thinking about when I bought them, and I'm sure there are more, but these are the first 10 I ran across.
1. Deanna Carter, Did I Shave My Legs For This - Great title, but I think I was going through a mainstream country phase at the time, and this might be the one that ended it.
2. The Dixie Chicks, Wide Open Spaces - What can I say, I dig cross-eyed chicks, and did you see the short blond one when she was one the DIY program Trading Spaces, and I could have called her the short chunky blond, but I didn't.
3. The Corrs, Talk On Corners - Are we starting to notice a trend here? I mean, c'mon I never even noticed that one of the Corrs was a guy, and they really have that Galway Girl dark hair, blue eyes thing down, don't they.
4. Derek And The Domino's, Layla - Ok, I thought there was a song on this CD that I really liked back when I first got out of the air force back in 1972, but it turns out the song I really liked was by Ten Years After, and seriously I think he pushed his kid out the window.
5. Fairport Convention, Encore Encore - A really piss poor live CD which I thought was a greatest hits CD that was recorded, I don't know, 20 years after Sandy Denny died, and they didn't even get a chick singer to replace SD on her lead vocals, I mean DAMN!!!
6. U2, Joshua Tree - Ok, this is the kind of CD that you would think I would love, but geez, I've had it over ten years and I've never listened to it all the way through, and c'mon now, there is only one Bono, and that's Sonny!
7. Matapedia - Kate & Anna McGarrigle - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I must have had a vagina when I bought this one.
8. R.E.M, Monster - Everyone should own at least one R.E.M. CD, but this isn't the one.
9. Paula Cole, This Fire - Ok, I admit it, I really liked Where Have All The Cowboys Gone, and I know that it was tongue in cheek, and yeah, Paula Cole is sort of naked on the cover, and we share the same last name, but the rest of this CD made me wish that I didn't have ears.
10. Bettie Serveert, Dust Bunnies - Who the fuck is Bettie Serveert???
Ten fairly common things that I have never done.
1. Eaten a pop tart.
2. Ridden a horse.
3. Stared Charlie down from the wrong end of a bayonet ... no, I've done that, well, not really, but it's an urban legend that I started about myself when it became chic in the early 80's to sort of hint that you might have served in Vietnam even if you actually hadn't, and I actually worked with a guy that actually hinted, actually, he more than hinted, and you know I actually believed him until I realized that he didn't graduate from high school until June of 1973, which was I think a couple of months after the war ended, and when I asked him when he served in the army he said 1975 through 1977, and I said it must have been hard serving in Vietnam after everybody else had left, and then he admitted that he hadn't actually served in Vietnam, but that he had actually (and how many times have I typed actually?) served in Germany, and then I said sarcastically, that yeah, Germany was real tough duty in the 70's, and then he got all indignant and said he had served in the coldest part of Germany, and even though it wasn't Vietnam, it was almost as bad as Vietnam, well, except for the cats in black pjs and BF Goodrich sandals trying to kill you, and that's the reason I started the "Staring down Charlie from the wrong end of a bayonet" urban legend about myself as a way of poking fun at the guys that really, really, really wanted you to believe that uh, well, you know, the whole Vietnam chic thing that I mentioned a few lines back, but you know, I did spend a month in Turkey when I was in the air force, and the hash wasn't all that good, and neither were the three dollar prostitutes.
4. Did it.
5. Did it.
6. Did it.
7. Did it.
8. Did it.
9. Did it.
10. Ahhhhh, yeah, I did that too.
2. Ridden a horse.
3. Stared Charlie down from the wrong end of a bayonet ... no, I've done that, well, not really, but it's an urban legend that I started about myself when it became chic in the early 80's to sort of hint that you might have served in Vietnam even if you actually hadn't, and I actually worked with a guy that actually hinted, actually, he more than hinted, and you know I actually believed him until I realized that he didn't graduate from high school until June of 1973, which was I think a couple of months after the war ended, and when I asked him when he served in the army he said 1975 through 1977, and I said it must have been hard serving in Vietnam after everybody else had left, and then he admitted that he hadn't actually served in Vietnam, but that he had actually (and how many times have I typed actually?) served in Germany, and then I said sarcastically, that yeah, Germany was real tough duty in the 70's, and then he got all indignant and said he had served in the coldest part of Germany, and even though it wasn't Vietnam, it was almost as bad as Vietnam, well, except for the cats in black pjs and BF Goodrich sandals trying to kill you, and that's the reason I started the "Staring down Charlie from the wrong end of a bayonet" urban legend about myself as a way of poking fun at the guys that really, really, really wanted you to believe that uh, well, you know, the whole Vietnam chic thing that I mentioned a few lines back, but you know, I did spend a month in Turkey when I was in the air force, and the hash wasn't all that good, and neither were the three dollar prostitutes.
4. Did it.
5. Did it.
6. Did it.
7. Did it.
8. Did it.
9. Did it.
10. Ahhhhh, yeah, I did that too.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Seriously, if I didn't know that I made this stuff up I wouldn't think that I made it up.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Thanks for listening.
Ten things you would find in my bedroom without looking too hard, with accompanying photographs.
1. A spray bottle of store brand orange scented Fabreze.
2. A 6.7 ounce of Intimate Warming Massage.
3. A monkey on my shoulder.
4. A little Liz Phair nipple slippage.
5. Something Freudian.
6. A C# Hohner blues harp.
7. Zoloft, but don't worry I'm not a teenage boy.
8. Cheap sunglasses.
9. Three unread novels(IN ONE FUCKING VOLUME) by Henry Miller that I might start reading tonight, yeah, what are the odds of that!
10. Cheap whiskey, which makes sense because I don't drink, well, ok, like, I might have a drink every two years or so.
1. A spray bottle of store brand orange scented Fabreze.
2. A 6.7 ounce of Intimate Warming Massage.
3. A monkey on my shoulder.
4. A little Liz Phair nipple slippage.
5. Something Freudian.
6. A C# Hohner blues harp.
7. Zoloft, but don't worry I'm not a teenage boy.
8. Cheap sunglasses.
9. Three unread novels(IN ONE FUCKING VOLUME) by Henry Miller that I might start reading tonight, yeah, what are the odds of that!
10. Cheap whiskey, which makes sense because I don't drink, well, ok, like, I might have a drink every two years or so.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
I should do a salt water gargle.
Miss June and the summer of 1961
It's four in the morning and I can't sleep so I guess I should tell you about the summer that Wesley from across the street and I turned eleven years old.
To be continued.
To be continued.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Ditto Kiddo
I had a dream last night that I was Eric Stolz and scored 100% on a spelling test. This wasn't the Eric Stolz from Mask, it was the Eric Stolz from Some Kind of Wonderful, and seriously how could Eric Stolz not realize that even though five years down the road Mary Stuart Masterson would come out of the closet as a screaming bull dyke, not that there is anything wrong with it, but how could Eric Stolz not realize that Mary Stuart Masterson was a much better choice than that stuck up piece of PWT Lea Thompson, and seriously I have never felt that in any way, shape, or form that Lea Thompson was even remotely attractive.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Just to let you know what's happening.
It's four in the morning and I'm sick as a dog, or maybe I mean like a dog, and my fucking keyboard can't keep up with my train of thought, I should back track a bit, I'm pretty sure I mean sick as a dog, I mean, because even in my feverish state being sick like a dog doesn't make any sense.
So, I'm sick as a dog, and, you know, sick as a dog doesn't make much sense either, so let's just say I'm sick, or as my doctor likes to say, I've got the creeping crud, or maybe he just says the crud, but I like creeping crud better because it's alliterative, and really, just how often am I alliterative, so cut me some slack, por favor.
Ok, I've got the creeping crud, and shit, that just sounds wrong, so let's just say that I'm under the weather, nah, let's just say I don't feel ...........
What the fuck .... a goddamn alarm just went off, and I thought for sure it was a smoke alarm, and I thought for sure that the house was burning down, and I thought for sure that I wouldn't be able to finish this post, so I ran out to see what it was, I mean, it wasn't long ago that MB put a hot dog bun in the microwave and set the timer for seventeen hours, and let me tell you something, that after seventeen hours in a microwave a hot dog bun is ahhhhhhhhhh, charcoal. So I went running out to see what it was, half expecting to be overcome by smoke, and the sound was coming from the bathroom, and seriously, all this happened while I was writing this post, and the sound was coming from the bathroom, and I don't have a smoke detector in the bathroom, and yeah .... fuck it, it was the little digital clock, I guess MB, or maybe even me, and yeah, I do some pretty bat shit crazy things at times, anyway, one of us must have pushed the little clicky thing and put the alarm on, I don't know, I guess it's just not my day.
So, I'm sick, and I can't sleep because every time I lay down, or lie down, and I'm pretty sure it's lay down, but I'm hedging my bets, but every time I lay down my nose gets so stuffed up it's like I'd need a set of allen wrenches to open them up, and I'm not even sure what allen wrenches are, so that should tell you just how sick I am.
So, I'm sick as a dog, and, you know, sick as a dog doesn't make much sense either, so let's just say I'm sick, or as my doctor likes to say, I've got the creeping crud, or maybe he just says the crud, but I like creeping crud better because it's alliterative, and really, just how often am I alliterative, so cut me some slack, por favor.
Ok, I've got the creeping crud, and shit, that just sounds wrong, so let's just say that I'm under the weather, nah, let's just say I don't feel ...........
What the fuck .... a goddamn alarm just went off, and I thought for sure it was a smoke alarm, and I thought for sure that the house was burning down, and I thought for sure that I wouldn't be able to finish this post, so I ran out to see what it was, I mean, it wasn't long ago that MB put a hot dog bun in the microwave and set the timer for seventeen hours, and let me tell you something, that after seventeen hours in a microwave a hot dog bun is ahhhhhhhhhh, charcoal. So I went running out to see what it was, half expecting to be overcome by smoke, and the sound was coming from the bathroom, and seriously, all this happened while I was writing this post, and the sound was coming from the bathroom, and I don't have a smoke detector in the bathroom, and yeah .... fuck it, it was the little digital clock, I guess MB, or maybe even me, and yeah, I do some pretty bat shit crazy things at times, anyway, one of us must have pushed the little clicky thing and put the alarm on, I don't know, I guess it's just not my day.
So, I'm sick, and I can't sleep because every time I lay down, or lie down, and I'm pretty sure it's lay down, but I'm hedging my bets, but every time I lay down my nose gets so stuffed up it's like I'd need a set of allen wrenches to open them up, and I'm not even sure what allen wrenches are, so that should tell you just how sick I am.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Do clams get clammy or is that just a saying?
I'm so sick that I am just going to post this picture of MB taken with my new cellphone at Hungry Howie's this afternoon where she is trying to look like she is listening to what I am saying when what she is actually doing is thinking that she should have said yes to that guy that looked an awfully lot like Glen Ford when he asked her if she would like to dance back in 1939 at that dance she went to with her girlfriend from the hospital that she worked at about two weeks before she met my father.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Unabated phone boner
I ate chicken noodle soup with oyster crackers tonight.
They've opened a casino just 40 miles from where I live.
I'm bored, that's it.
They've opened a casino just 40 miles from where I live.
I'm bored, that's it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Going cellular in a bozzular world
I finally signed up for a real cell phone plan. It's with AT&T. I got the $39.99 2 year package, with 450 any time minutes which rollover, and 5000 late night minutes, and I added the 200 Messages plan for an extra $5.00.
I bought the LG CU515 - Plum, yeah plum, because I wanted a phone with a little bozzazz to it.
It's got a camera which is supposed to be crappy, and a music player, and an micro sd slot for up to a 4 gig card, and a bunch of other stuff like blue tooth capabilities, whatever the fuck that is, and I can send pictures and videos, and I'm already bored with it even though I ordered it on line and haven't gotten it yet, and I'll probably try to get a cheaper lan line deal, or get rid of it altogether, because I heard on the radio that a lot of people are doing that, a lot of cutting edge people are doing it, and I'm nothing if not cutting edge, and ok, I'm all excited again, and I'd show you a picture of my phone boner, but a picture wouldn't do it justice.
I bought the LG CU515 - Plum, yeah plum, because I wanted a phone with a little bozzazz to it.
It's got a camera which is supposed to be crappy, and a music player, and an micro sd slot for up to a 4 gig card, and a bunch of other stuff like blue tooth capabilities, whatever the fuck that is, and I can send pictures and videos, and I'm already bored with it even though I ordered it on line and haven't gotten it yet, and I'll probably try to get a cheaper lan line deal, or get rid of it altogether, because I heard on the radio that a lot of people are doing that, a lot of cutting edge people are doing it, and I'm nothing if not cutting edge, and ok, I'm all excited again, and I'd show you a picture of my phone boner, but a picture wouldn't do it justice.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I guess this is the title.
I just did a Google Image Search for "some chick" and this is the best I came up with.
It's late, and I needed a post, so fuck it.
Doctor's appointment today.
He suggested that I used a saline solution nasal spray and a humidifier to help with my sinus problem. So I will, and I didn't even have to buy either of them, but then a girl from Argentina just told me that she was once addicted to saline nasal spray, and now I'm worried that I'll become addicted, even though my doctor said I could used it all I wanted and not have to worry about overdoing it, so who am I to believe , my doctor, or a cute chick from Argentina who likes 60's music.
It's late, and I needed a post, so fuck it.
Doctor's appointment today.
He suggested that I used a saline solution nasal spray and a humidifier to help with my sinus problem. So I will, and I didn't even have to buy either of them, but then a girl from Argentina just told me that she was once addicted to saline nasal spray, and now I'm worried that I'll become addicted, even though my doctor said I could used it all I wanted and not have to worry about overdoing it, so who am I to believe , my doctor, or a cute chick from Argentina who likes 60's music.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Top Chef needs more licorice recipes
It's eight thirty in the morning and I'm scarfing down blue raspberry licorice like there is no tomorrow, and if I die today I guess there would be no tomorrow, but anyway, I don't care if it makes me sick(er) it still tastes very good.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
If I'm not here tomorrow check the morgue.
I'm really sick tonight.
I think it might be god's way of punishing me for blowing off the blood test I was supposed to get.
I am nauseous.
I am perspiring profusely.
I have chills.
My throat is sore.
AND THOSE DAMN TEENAGERS OUTSIDE WON'T SHUT UP. IT'S DARK OUTSIDE, SHOULDN'T THEY BE HOME WORKING ON THEIR MY SPACE ACCOUNTS.
Anyway ...
I started watching the new season of Top Chef tonight on Bravo, and the best part so far is the host Padma Something or other.
The host, Padma Something or other, but it might be Lakshmi.
Excuse me while I go puke.
I think it might be god's way of punishing me for blowing off the blood test I was supposed to get.
I am nauseous.
I am perspiring profusely.
I have chills.
My throat is sore.
AND THOSE DAMN TEENAGERS OUTSIDE WON'T SHUT UP. IT'S DARK OUTSIDE, SHOULDN'T THEY BE HOME WORKING ON THEIR MY SPACE ACCOUNTS.
Anyway ...
I started watching the new season of Top Chef tonight on Bravo, and the best part so far is the host Padma Something or other.
The host, Padma Something or other, but it might be Lakshmi.
Excuse me while I go puke.
Friday, March 14, 2008
I was supposed to get a blood test today, but I blew it off because I would have had to fast, but I didn't.
Daylight Savings Time is really screwing me up.
It's 4:41 pm, and it seems later, but it is actually earlier.
It's 4:41 pm, and it seems later, but it is actually earlier.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Where have you gone Moonie Pottie a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.
Ten things it is hard to do while listening to an mp3 player.
1. Shave, unless it's your legs or your tongue.
2. That's all I can up with.
3. But I'll keep thinking.
4. Did anyone see that article in Der Spiegel ... I took a year of German in college, and at the first university I went to I used to go into the library archives and look for pictures of naked women in back issues of Der Spiegel, and there was always at least one, so when I transferred to a second university I did the same thing, but someone had went through every issue and cut out all the naked lady pictures, I mean, they censored Der Spiegel, yes, CENSORSHIP reared it's ugly head in a supposedly liberal midwestern university, either that, or some horny college student (other than me) had cut them out and started a Der Spiegel Naked Woman Scrapbook, which would have given him something to thumb through after he had barricaded himself in the university chapel bell tower and was still waiting for his first clear shot.
5. My fingers are not hitting the correct keys tonight.
6. Tom Petty looks like a really ugly woman.
7. Like an ugly woman that I used to date, nah, I'd never admit to dating an ugly woman, even if I did, I'd never admit it, and even if she were ugly I'm sure I would have found her inner beauty, and been happy, until she dumped me.
8. Don't mind my grammatical errors, they're part of my charm.
9. Oh yeah, Der Spiegel is a German magazine that I am pretty sure Tom Petty subscribes to, and can I end a sentence with to?
10. This whole grammar thing is very upsetting, sorry.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Pokies and other blasts from the past.
Linda Fiorentino turned 48 today.
I like her toes, and her mouth, and her voice, and a lot of her other stuff too.
I like her better than Shannyn Sossamon.
But there are many good things about Shannyn Sossamon too, like her name and her pokies, and when was the last time I used the word pokies in here ...
I like her toes, and her mouth, and her voice, and a lot of her other stuff too.
I like her better than Shannyn Sossamon.
But there are many good things about Shannyn Sossamon too, like her name and her pokies, and when was the last time I used the word pokies in here ...
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Boz and Henry Miller take the Faygo Candy Cane Cola taste test.
It's also given me a bit of a sugar buzz, because I only drink diet soda, and this wasn't diet, and maybe I shouldn't have drinken, make that dranken the whole one liter bottle, and really, I never did taste the candy cane, and were you thinking what I was thinking when I said I used to dip my candy cane in my glass of pepsi when I was a kid, but seriously, my shoulder really hurts tonight, so instead of folding laundry I took a nap, and when I woke up from my nap I felt like I had been to hell and back and back again with Boz's Bastards, tra la, tra la, tra la.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Where is my winter?
I am pretty excited because I got 16 AA batteries for a dollar at the Dollar Store, and yeah, they do work pretty good in my mp3 player #2 which takes one AA battery, and in the new flashlight that I also just bought at the Dollar Store (no picture available). I mean, sixteen of anything for a dollar is a pretty good deal.
I also bought a 1 liter bottle of Faygo Candy Cane Cola for fifty cents, which I will probably be drinking tonight with one of my real long straws, and maybe I'll post a video just to show you how long the straw really is.
I also bought a 1 liter bottle of Faygo Candy Cane Cola for fifty cents, which I will probably be drinking tonight with one of my real long straws, and maybe I'll post a video just to show you how long the straw really is.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Nothing suitable can come of this.
I went to the $ store today and bought socks and army men.
1. You can never have enough socks.
2. When I was a kid my parents never bought me army men, never, and this might be my last chance.
3. I'm going to call my battalion of army men BOZ'S BASTARDS!!!.
4. I'm going to make a series of short videos starring BOZ'S BASTARDS.
5. The first video will be called BOZ'S BASTARDS: TO HELL AND BACK, AND THEN BACK AGAIN BECAUSE THEY LIKED IT SO MUCH!
6. Just call me Lt Colonel Boz Bozbozenboz.
7. That's it.
8. What's with the numbers?
9. Dunno.
10. I'll take Paul Lynde for the block.
1. You can never have enough socks.
2. When I was a kid my parents never bought me army men, never, and this might be my last chance.
3. I'm going to call my battalion of army men BOZ'S BASTARDS!!!.
4. I'm going to make a series of short videos starring BOZ'S BASTARDS.
5. The first video will be called BOZ'S BASTARDS: TO HELL AND BACK, AND THEN BACK AGAIN BECAUSE THEY LIKED IT SO MUCH!
6. Just call me Lt Colonel Boz Bozbozenboz.
7. That's it.
8. What's with the numbers?
9. Dunno.
10. I'll take Paul Lynde for the block.
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