Where are the pizza goddesses of my dreams, and do they have my cell phone number?

Things I have to do today even if it is only 5:42 am.
1. Go to the gym.
2. Pick up a prescription and use the two dollar off birthday coupon on something I totally don't need before it expires, or maybe before I expire.
3. Get a pizza because it's SQUARE TUESDAY, or maybe not, because really, I am so over pizza unless it is served by nubile and naked pizza goddesses.
4. Take a shower, which I do quite regularly, unless I am too tired, or too clean already.
5. Change the shoelaces in my sneakers to shorter laces because the current longer laces tend to make me trip, stumble, and fall when I step on them while walking, and/or chewing gum.
6. Buy something, anything, I'm seriously spend jonesing, but I don't need anything, not even underwear ... I NEED TO SPEND TO VALIDATE MY EXISTENCE!!!
7. Ok, this isn't something I have to do, but I would like to point out that my brother in law, my niece, and my nephew all went out on strike yesterday because they work for GM which is the grand daddy of all evil empires, but the pay and the benefits are good, and they have a great employee discount which even extends to brothers in laws, which I am one of, and I often take advantage of when I purchase new vehicles, and how convoluted is this sentence getting, but it's ok, because I get to share on the employee discount for that too.
8. Take a nap, right now, or at least after I finish 8, 9, and 10, which hopefully will be soon Betty, real soon.
9. Find out who Betty is.
10. Hydrate until I leak, or take a leak, or take many leaks, or many many leaks, and where are the pizza goddesses of my dreams when I really need them.