Seriously, Coke makes a great douche.

I set a record today.
I had four refills on my diet Coke at the Bk.
It was the sixteen ounce cup, and they weren't completely empty when I refilled them, but still ... I'm pretty stoked about it.

A curious onlooker asks:
Boz, why do you get the sixteen ounce drink and not one of the mega sized drinks?
Boz: Because if you are 55 or over you get the sixteen ounce drink for fifty cents plus tax, and the tax is six cents on the dollar, so that would make it three cents on the half dollar, and fifty cents is a half dollar(more or less), so that would make the final cost ... fifty three cents, which with four refills is quite a deal, hold on a second, I have to take a whiz, and from now on I am always going to refer to IT as taking a whiz, and yeah, I lied about needing to take a whiz, I was just trying to be funny, but now that I think about it ...