People have never understood the real me

Ten questions from Melissa.

1. What is your favorite word?
Umbrage.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Snot.

Contemplative

3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
Beautiful, and I don't mean it in a purely physical way, women.
4. What turns you off?
Loud, obnoxious people.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Jesus Fuck.

Snobbish

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Thunder late at night when I am half asleep.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The telephone

Mock Humility

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Late night disc jockey.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything where you have to sell yourself.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I'm out of here, take over.