So, I went out and bought a pumpkin today from a self serve pumpkin farm. Self serve pumpkin farm ... you know what that means don't you? It means you pay $1.00 for a pumpkin with a $4.00 price tag.
And do I feel guilty for practically, but not quite, stealing a pumpkin? No, I mean, they were practically begging to get ripped off, it said self serve and they had a can for the money, and speaking about honesty, if they were so honest how come they had the can bolted down, so what was I supposed to do. You know, I haven't been the same since the five years I spent in the Psychiatric ward of a VA Hospital back in the 70's after staring down Charlie from the wrong end of a bayonet trying to insure your freedom, and yes, the freedom of all the pumpkin farmers in all the great states of this great country of ours.
Sieg Heil!!!
I mean ...
God Bless America!!!
Besides, my pumpkin has a brain tumor, and how am I supposed to deal with that, and I swear to god, when I was carrying the pumpkin into the house it said to me ...
Mom, hold me, my head hurts.
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