Nooooooooo

The call came today.
The call I have been dreading.

Hello, Kenneth, this is your Aunt Sandra, do you have any plans for next weekend?

Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

Ok, here's the deal.
Yeah, she's my aunt, but she's only like 4 years older than I am.
She's like 26 years younger than MB.
She's like younger than both of my sisters.
She's like crazy if she thinks I'm ever going to call her my Aunt Sandra.
She's like ten degrees of bat shit insane.
And ...
She wants to come visit next Sunday.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

I haven't seen her in twenty years, and I was hoping it would be another twenty years before I saw her again.


Noooooooooooooooooooooo.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

She'll be here between noon and one next Sunday.
I hate my life, and while I'm at it ...
I hate your life too.

I hope my cousins Michael and Marcia don't come.