The look

I talked to my sister on the phone today.
She said they'll be taking their vacation in August, so that looks like when I will be having my spinal surgery, if I need spinal surgery, which I am sure I do, and of course everything will depend on the neuro-surgeon's availability, but yeah, August sounds like a go.

I was telling this to my mother today, while we were out, and she started shooting me this look every few seconds. I think it was a worried look, I couldn't be sure, I was driving, and I couldn't look over at her. I really didn't want to look over at her, because besides worry I am sure there were a lot of other emotions in the look.
Ok, truthfully, I was afraid to look because I knew the look was all about guilt, her guilt.

When my mother was expecting me, she had some health problems, and the doctor prescribed some sort of new miracle drug that had just come on the market. It might have been for morning sickness, I don't know, I'm not sure.
Anyway, she took some drug, for some health problem.

Then sometime in the 70's it was discovered that one of the drugs prescribed for expectant mothers in the late 40's and early 50's could cause some delayed and long term health problems for the child.
She has no proof she took this particular drug, and no way of checking back, because her pediatrician has long since passed away.
So there is no proof that she took this drug.
But, she believes that she did, and that is all the proof she needs to feel guilty for every health problem that I have ever had in my entire life.

And that is the look that I knew my mother was giving me, and that is the look that I didn't want to see, because drug or no drug, she has nothing to feel guilty about, absolutely nothing, but it is useless trying to tell her that.