FemHyg products

I asked MB if she wanted anything from the store tonight, and she asked me to pick up a box of Kotex ...
KOTEX!!!
MB has never ever ever said that word to me in my life!!!
Ok, I'm not an expert on these things, but she's 85 years old, and I'm pretty sure she, well, I'm pretty sure she stopped needing (HmmHmm)tex about thirty years or so ago.
And yeah, MB's mind is wandering a little bit more now, and yeah, this might have been an example of that, but then she said that she wanted the (HmmHmm)tex as a little added protection when she goes to the doctor's next week.
Then ...
Then ...
Then, I had to ask her if she wanted pads or what???
I wasn't even sure if they still made pads, but hey, I was flying blind here.
Yeah, pads.
That's it.
I will never discuss this again.

The one after one thousand and one

I've got this kind of rhythm going in my head tonight.
Sort of a clackety clackety clack clack clack sort of thing.
It's very invigorating, it's very stimulating, it's very ...
It's very I want to stay up all night and do things sort of thing thing thing.
Because you don't often get this rhythm, this syncopation, this beat, this feeling and it would be a shame to waste it watching tv, or reading, or thinking, or plotting, or scheming, or sleeping, or beating off, or beating off, or beating off, or whatever whatever whatever.
But I will.

$4.99

When I walked into the pizza parlor today a young girl in a baggy shirt and pants and covered in flour waited on me.
She had fly away hair and a cute smile and as she walked back to the kitchen with my order she started bopping along to the country music station that was blaring from the dining room speakers, and I thought to myself I wonder what her friends would think if they only knew.

My eclectic blanket beckons, doo dah

So, there's a documentary about Charles Bukowski that comes on in about an hour on one of the premium cable channels.
I guess I'll watch it.
I mean, I've read some stuff by him, and it's pretty good.
I mean, I'm not a devotee, are there two e's in devotee, or am I hallucinating again?
Like I said, I've read some of his stuff, and oh yeah, I saw him give a reading when I was in college back in about 1974 or 75. The reading I almost skipped because I wanted to go to the student union and play pin ball, and I'm sort of glad I didn't skip it, because now 30 years later I can tell people that I saw Charles Bukowski give a reading, and it doesn't matter that I don't remember too much about it, and didn't he used to work at the post office, and didn't I once put in an application at the post office, but when it came time to take the test I decided to go back to college instead in the off chance that one day I would get to see Charles Bukowski give a reading.
But yeah, Bukowski was ok, but I can name tons of guys that I liked betterererer.
Vonnegut, or however he spells his name today.
Heller ...
Ok, I can't think of a ton of guys, but seriously, there are a ton of them, and did Neal Cassady ever write anything, and if he did should I have read it.
Ok, here's another one ...
The good Doctor Hunter S. Thompson.
And yeah, Kerouac too, and a lot of people don't like Kerouac, at least a lot of people I know, but I just don't why, he's not my favorite, but I like him
Oh yeah ...
Evelyn Waugh, the British guy, yeah, he's a guy, and you know he had to take a lot of shit with a name like that.
Ok ...
Huxley too, but that's an easy one
And Orwell, because you can't say Huxley without mentioning Orwell
And have you ever read In Cold Blood by Capote?
Well, yeah, I know, it's Capote, but you should still read it, go ahead, I can wait.
But you know, I never liked Faulkner, I guess I'm just not into cow fucking.
Ohhhh, Nathaniel West, yeah, Miss Lonelyhearts and Day of the Locust, all you So Cal people have to read Day of the Locust, because the Day ... of ... the ... Locust ... is coming.
Anyway, I guess that's it for now.
Oh, and John Irving, and Thomas Wolfe, and that guy from the Pacific Northwest that wrote One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Next, and I really should know his name, and yeah, he hung out with Neal Cassady back in the Merry Prankster days of the mid 60's, and, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the 60's, need I say more.

If you can read this you're too damn close

It's weird.
I get up, I do stuff, the same stuff, I go to bed, I get up, I do stuff, the same stuff and I go to bed.
Is that it?
The same stuff for the rest of my life?
Don't I have anything to look forward to, just get up, do stuff, the same stuff, and then go to bed?
I want my money back, or my life, or my sanity, or my ...
What a gyp.

Homo sapiens and other topics of the day

Ok, I'm going to be watching this movie in a half hour, so you kids better keep the noise down.
Other than that, this has been a pretty boring weekend.
I did make pudding though.
I also bought a half gallon of Death By Chocolate ice cream.
And ...
Ok, it's not actually called death by chocolate
It's actually
Chocolate ice cream
Miniature peanut butter cups
And
Peanut butter swirls.
And ...
I've been eating a lot of bbq chips lately.
It's funny how you get those cravings every once in awhile, isn't it.
And by a lot, I mean two bags in a week, it's not like I'm pulling a Brian Wilson here.

I don't think that Gabbly chat thing is going to stay in the side bar much longer either.
It irritates me ...
IRRITATES ME!!!

In other news, the movie starts in 15 minutes.

I'd better hit the fridge, because it's going to be a long movie.

WTF!!!

My niece doesn't have much computer savvy.
She has my old computer, which is still running Windows 95, at home, and at work she only has access to an email account.
So, anyway, I occasionally email at her work address where I send her pictures and we bad mouth other family members.
Last night I emailed her about a crazy thing that my sister, her aunt, said, and at the end I said:
WTF is up with that?
Today she emailed me back and asked if WTF meant what she thought it meant, and I told her that yeah it probably did, so all day today she was emailing me with
WTF this
and
WTF that
and
WTF this again
and
WTF that again
and
WTF
Ad Infinitum

What do you do when it's too cold to do anything?

It's 6 degrees below zero and it's too cold to do anything.
What should I do?

It's I love the 80's week on The Grand Ennui, sponsored by the US Army, and Massengale Douche

So, I'm going to watch the movie Videodrome in about a half hour.
I'll probably eat some BBQ chips and drink a diet coke too.
I haven't seen Videodrome in over twenty years, and I am afraid I didn't appreciate it for what it was back then. All I was looking for were Deborah Harry's tits, and if I remember right they weren't featured in the movie, and that is why I didn't appreciate it, and isn't James Woods some kind of batshit crazy, and I don't just mean in this movie, I mean in everyday life, and I remember reading once somewhere that he had about the biggest penis in Hollywood, but that's just something I read, maybe I'll Google James Woods Penis and see what I come up with.

Is that your tongue in your mouth or are you just glad to see me

A week or so ago Kat made her first post in a couple of months and I commented with what both of us consider
THE
BEST
COMMENT
EVER
When I said:
It must be hell trying to take dictation when they start talking in tongues.

I'm walking here, I'm walking here.

So, I've felt crappy, and tired, and bored, and depressed, and sleepy, and worried, and relieved, and crappy, and crappy, and crappy, and a little bit constipated.

At eight tonight I had the choice of watching Midnight Cowboy, The Hills Have Eyes II, or Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, and I watched Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. I missed the first ten minutes because I was channel surfing for something better, but that was alright because I saw most of the first half hour of TSOTP last night, and yeah, I teared up some when Tibby found out the little blonde girl had leukemia, and really, it wasn't such a bad movie, but it might have been better if they had called it the Midnight Cowboy of the Travelling Pants, and had Joe Buck, and Ratso Rizzo in the place of the soccer girl and the Greek girl, because even though they were the two cutest of the sisterhood they were also the most boring, and I guess that's all I have to say about that, except for the fact that I remembered that the emo girl was named Tibby without looking it up, and that the soccer girl was Britney, and the Greek girl was Lena, and the Puerto Rican girl was Carmen, also without looking it up, and really there's nothing wrong with that, is there?

My two sides fighting against each other

I keep switching back and forth between the football game and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

If my feet weren't cold it would be a whole different story

I didn't make the bed today, and I didn't shave either, and my feet are cold.
I've had sort of a sort of cold, or cold like symptoms today, but I took some Tylenol Flu and some Nyquil earlier, and I feel a lot better, and I'll probably be taking another dose of both within the next hour, and really that's all I have.
Oh, remind me the next time I decide to go tracking through the snow to take pictures, remind me NOT to do it.

There are lots of things I should be reminded of, but they've slipped my mind.

The bird that mocks me just peeped from the other room, it's about time that I covered her cage, the cage that you should have reminded me to clean today, but I didn't, and I promise to clean it tomorrow, and to vacuum, and to wash two loads of clothes, and to fold three loads of clothes, and to figure out some kind of non-fat meal for MB's dinner tomorrow night, and does soup have fat in it ...



My shadow in the snow taking a picture of one of the frozen parts of the Au Sable river, which is the reason that I have cold like symptoms, and cold like feet too.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH, there, now I feel better

Back from the doctor's.
It might be acid reflux, it might a couple of other things.
Monday morning MB has to get an upper GI, an ultrasound of her stomach and some blood work ... MONDAY FREAKIN' MORNING!!!
She has two more prescriptions.
They are both for stomach, heartburn, indigestion, nausea, etc.
One she takes twice a day.
The other she takes with meals and before bed time.
The one she takes with meals has to cut in half, and it's so small it isn't scored, so I had to go out and buy a pill cutter.

MB's mouth almost wrote a couple of checks that her butt couldn't cash in the waiting room of the doctor's office.
When the somewhat hefty receptionist was walking away after getting MB's signature on some kind of medical form MB asked:
Is she pregnant?
Luckily, the non pregnant, but hefty receptionist didn't hear her, at least I don't think she heard her.
Later on, a man, or maybe it was a woman, came in and sat down, and I was confused whether it was a man or a woman, and I thought to myself I hope MB doesn't make a comment.
When the man, or woman took his, or her coat off it was evident that it was a woman, and yeah MB asked me, right in front of the manly woman:
Is that a man or a woman?
All I could do was place my finger in front of my mouth and go shhhhhhhhhhhh, but I'm pretty sure that the manly woman heard her.

So yeah, I guess this has ended up being an arghhhhhhhhhhhhh kind of day.

Too much monkey business for me to be involved in

I've got to take MB to the doctor's tomorrow afternoon.
She isn't really sick, but she has been throwing up, but not really constant violent spasmodic upchucks, it's more errrrrp, and then some phlegm, and then she feels better again, but there was one where it looked like she threw a bowl of tomato soup on the floor, but that was mostly because it was tomato soup, but like I said it's mostly errrrrp and bam it's over, and like I said, she really isn't sick ... ish, and it hasn't made her lose her appetite, and it hasn't stopped her from doing all those little things she does that aggravate me to no end, but it's still a good idea that she goes to the doctor tomorrow, and she's going to be a real pain in the ass until we're finished there.

In other news, my sister, who is 65 just had cataract surgery performed on both her eyes, and now MB is determined that she is going to have cataract surgery on her eyes, I mean she won't let it rest, ok, she does have cataracts because about five years ago she had the screening down at the eye doctor's, and I don't mean the eye doctor who works at the Vision Center in the local strip mall, I mean the guy who went to doctor school and everything, and majored in eyes, and this is the guy she is going to see again next Tuesday, and I hope for his sake that he agrees that she needs cataract surgery because she may rip him a new one if he doesn't, but damn, she's 85 years old and I don't need this grief!

N stands for more than just narcolepsy

The free Evil Boz 16x20 inch poster I got when I bought my new camera.



Free except for the $5.00 s&h, and the $4.00 frame, and the $???.?? camera.

It sort of looks like
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU
Doesn't it.

Selling my soul for a year

I got a letter from my cable company as I was walking out the door today.
Right now I am getting channels 2-78 and 3 meg internet access.
The letter offered me a one year deal where I could go up to digital cable featuring all the premium movie channel tiers for eight dollars more a month if I called their 800 number.
Sounded like a deal to me ... all the premium movie channel tiers.

All the HBOs ... yep.
All the Cinemaxes ... yep.
All the Starz ... yep.
All the Starz Encores ... yep.
All the Showtimes ... yep.
And
All the TMCs ... yep.

Yeah, sounded like a real good deal to me.

I decided to call the 800 number when I got home and set up an appointment, but while I was out it came to me that I would be driving right by the cable tv office, and I could just stop in and see if they could give me the same deal as the 800 number, because sometimes the right hand doesn't know what the left handed is doing in the cable industry, if you know what I mean.

I stopped at the cable office and showed them the letter and asked if they could do the deal for me, and she got on her computer and did a lot of typing, and said yeah, she could do it.
So, she brought out the digital cable box and the remote control, and I thought to myself cool I don't have to set up an appointment for a service guy to come out I can do this myself.
She then went into a long blahhhhhhhhh about how to hook everything up, and from experience I know not to pay any attention to the long blahhhhhhhh, because the long blahhhhhhhhhhh is usually all wrong (and it WAS all wrong), and besides I was too busy trying to look down her blouse, and how can I be expected to do two things at once anyway, and then as she was getting the computer print out for me to sign agreeing to all of this she told me that she got me an even better deal than the eight dollars more a month ...
SHE GOT ME A DEAL (AND YOU KNOW I DON'T USE CAPITAL LETTERS UNLESS THEY ARE REALLY CALLED FOR), SHE GOT ME A DEAL FOR SEVEN DOLLARS LESS THAN I AM ALREADY PAYING!!!

Huh???
Yeah, I didn't understand it either. I'll be getting digital cable and all the premium movie tiers, plus everything I am already getting and ...
I'LL BE PAYING (AGAIN WITH THE CAPITALS) SEVEN DOLLARS A MONTH LESS THAN I AM ALREADY PAYING, AND THE RATE IS LOCKED IN FOR A YEAR!!!

So, don't be bothering me tonight at 9:00 PM eastern because I'll be watching the first episode of the rebroadcast of season six of the Sopranos.

Oh, yeah, I get all those crappy music channels too.

Snow pictures

And how come every time I stop to take a picture a line of real old guys who can barely see over the steering wheel of their 1997 Cadillacs pull up behind me and give me dirty looks, like they've got any place they have to be in the next ten years?

Give me fire and I will rule the world

We're supposed to get a shitload of snow, so I went out and bought a shitload of stuff earlier today, and none of the shitload of stuff I bought would help in an emergency, but I just had to get out and act like I was preparing for the nuclear winter.
I ended up buying 2 twelve packs of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper because it was buy one get one free, and then I bought a twelve pack of Caffeine Free Diet Coke that wasn't buy one get one free, and then I bought two cans of Glade Air Freshener which was buy one get one free with a coupon, and then I bought some kind of Glade carpet fresh crap which was also buy one get one free with a coupon, and I bought some other stuff too, I bought a tiny little bottle of British Sterling cologne, and a couple of packs of Sharpie markers, and they were both 75% off, oh yeah, and I bought two packs of store brand Depends for MB, so I guess I actually did get something that was a necessity.

And now I am listening to Patti Smith.



Patti Smith, Punk Poet of the People in all of her alliterative glory.

And was this post even worth writing?
And I've got some of that room freshener on my hand.
And it smells like like some kind of unbrella drink.
And I can spell alliterative but not umbrella.
Anyone for Yahtzee?
Or tennis?
Or gelatin, there's always room for gelatin.
Or ...
I think I'm going to check and see if it has started snowing.
I can't tell, but it doesn't look like it.
I'm stumped for an ending.

Not another teen movie

Gabcast! This is H.G. Wells signing off