If this had been an actual emergency

I got a haircut today.
It was pretty uneventful.
After the haircut I went to Kmart.
They had a 50% off the clearance price on all clothing, but they didn't call it clothing, they called it apparel, and I got a shirt for $3.50 and a pair of shorts
for $4.50.



While standing in the check-out line I noticed they had candy bars on sale for thirty cents.
I bought a Chocolate Mocha Kit Kat bar to go with my lunch.



It went very good with lunch.
There are all kinds of severe storm warning to the south of us.
There are no severe storm warnings here.
We could use the rain, seriously.
I walked for an hour this morning while listening to my Zune (mp3 player).
The first song I heard was Paperback Writer by the Beatles.
When Paperback Writer first came out in 1966 I thought it was called PaperBAG Writer.
I turned 16 in 1966.
On my 16th birthday my old man and I went to see the Detroit Tigers play the Minnesota Twins.
It was free bat day for anyone under 16.
I lied, and got a free bat.
It was a Dick MacAuliffe autograph bat.
Dick MacAuliffe played shortstop for the Tigers.
Then when the Tigers got Ray Oyler Dick MacAuliffe played second base for the Tigers.
Ray Oyler is dead.
He was an alcoholic.
So kids, let that be a lesson to you.
If you drink, don't play shortstop for the Tigers, and if you're not sure how to spell MacAuliffe just fake it, because who's gonna know?
Amen.