Money Talks

I woke up this morning and was immediately pissed off.
Kmart has Zunes on sale this week for $219.99.
Ten days ago I paid $249.99 for my Zune at the Evil Empire.
Thirty bucks ... thirty fucking bucks!!!
I called up the Evil Empire and asked if they did price matching.
The woman who answered the phone said ...
Huh???
I said, do you match competitor's prices.
She said ...
Let me connect you with Customer Service.
Fine.
I asked the woman in Customer Service if they matched prices.
She said that it depends.
I said on what.
She said on what you bought.
I told her that I bought a Zune ten days ago for $249.99 and this week it is on sale at Kmart for $219.99.
She said, sorry, we only price match for seven days.
I said ok, I was just wondering.
But I wasn't wondering, I was festering!!!
Thirty bucks, thirty fucking bucks.
I mean, I couldn't enjoy my Zune knowing that I could have gotten it thirty dollars cheaper.
But fuck, what could I do.
Anyway, it was a nice day out, so I thought I'd go for a ride, and somehow my ride ended up in Oscoda, where the Kmart is located.
So, I went in the Kmart, but I avoided the electronic department because I couldn't bear to see the Zunes for $219.99. I just couldn't. I had to forget about it. I had to forget about the thirty dollars. I just had to!
I went all through the store.
I checked out the HBA.
I checked out the appliances.
I checked out the rugs.
I checked out the men's department, which was pretty cool because all men's clothing that was already on clearance was marked down an additional 50% from the lowest ticketed cost, and I was able to get a pair of Miami Ink boxer shorts for $2.50.
But, but, but ...
Something kept pulling me to the electronics department.
Drawn like iron shavings to a magnet.
Drawn like a moth to a flame.
Drawn like a boz to a Zune.
And there they were...
Zunes, and Zunes, and more Zunes.
There were white Zunes.
There were brown Zunes (yuck).
There were black Zunes.
And ...
They were all $219.99!!!
I couldn't stand it.
I had to get out of the store.
I needed fresh air.
I needed to clear my head.
I needed a Coke, so I stopped at Burger King.
And I sat there.
Thirty dollars ... thirty dollars ... thirty dollars.
I was sweating, flop sweat.
I got my wallet out.
I took the receipt for my Zune out, yeah, I was amazed it was in my wallet too.
The receipt said you could return mp3 players up to 15 days from purchase for refund or exchange.
I got an idea.
Ok, remember it's Sunday, and I don't like to think too much on Sunday, so my idea might not sound to bright to you, but bear with me.
I could go home and delete everything from my Zune and repack it, and take it back to the Evil Empire for a refund and then drive back up to Oscoda, which by the way, is about a 35 mile round trip, and then I could purchase one of the $219.99 Zunes from Kmart.
But, you know, I had all this music on my Zune, and I didn't want to go through all the trouble of having to delete it, then having to wait three hours while the battery of the new Zune charged, and then loading all the music back on.
So, I just sat there, befuddled, confused, dumbstruck, at my wit's end, and THIRSTY.
So I took another sip of Coke and then ...
IT HIT ME!!!
Go back to Kmart, it's right next door to the Burger King, no problem there, right.
Ok, go back to Kmart.
Buy a Zune for $219.99.
Take it home.
Put the $219.99 Zune in the $249.99 Zune box.
Take the $219.99 Zune (in the $249.99 Zune box) back to the Evil Empire and get a $249.99 refund, and ... and ... and ...
I'd have my thirty bucks,
Thirty bucks, thirty bucks, thirty bucks!!!
Without having to delete, repack, and reload.
So, I did, and it worked, and everyone is happy.
I got my thirty bucks.
Kmart got a sale.
And the Evil Empire got a brand new Zune which they could sell for as much money as they wanted, because I didn't care, because ...
I had my thirty fucking bucks!!!
Yes, I am a genius, even on Sunday.