Friday, August 11, 2006

My blog, my blog, my wonderful wonderful blog

Ok, it's like 2:45 in the morning and I can't sleep, and my neck hurts really bad, and it's been a month since surgery, and I know, it doesn't seem that long, but it's really been a month, and it still hurts, and what do you think, is that out of the ordinary, I know you're not a doctor, but what do you think, wait, I just asked you that, well, just tell me what you think, and there, I just asked you that again, and I'm getting so confused, and if I don't start concentrating pretty soon I'll probably ask you one more time what you think, see, I knew there was a pretty good chance that I'd ask you again.

Ten Pretty Names for Girls, I Mean Women, Because I've Seen the Error of My Sexist Ways

1. Marie.
2. Tootie, ok, you can see where this is going, can't you.
3. Any name that ends in -elle, like Marvelle, Shantelle, Bellelle, etcelle.
4. Angus, no wait, that's a pretty name for a breed of cattle, sorry.
5. Mickey, no, really, I have a cousin named Mickey, and she's a girl, I mean woman, but wait, she might just be a transvestite, and then the name Mickey would make more sense, or maybe I'm just thinking about Mickey Mantle, who isn't my cousin, or a transvestite, but he is dead, and I'm really not sure, he could be a transvestite for all I know.
6. Esther, no wait, I really hate that name ever since a real smart ass girl in my 8th grade social studies class named Esther made fun of me because I mistakenly referred to a peasant as a pheasant, I mean yeah, big fucking joke, but at least my name isn't Esther, bitch!
7. Tylenol Three with Codeine, ok, that would be a great name for a celebrity to name their daughter, Tylenol Three With Codeine Pitt, yeah, that works for me.
8. Eight, how cool would that be if you were an octuplet and by the time your parents got to you they had run out of names and they named you Eight.
9. Ennui, but only if you're French, or bored, or boring, or depressed, and suicidal, suicidal with a gun in your mouth, suicidal with a gun in your mouth worried that the rifle bullets you had to put in the gun because you're too depressed to go the ammo store to get proper bullets will work, and ... the goddamn John Cougar Mellencamp Suicide Prevention Hotline has got you on hold, yeah, and then Ennui would be a killer name.
10. Jane.

4 comments:

Kat said...

Jane says she's done with Sergio. Says he treats her like a rag doll.

It probably is normal for your neck to still hurt. I had a car wreck years ago where I was rear-ended (not in the good way) and my neck was sore for a long, long time. Sometimes it still gets sore from that. I know that's not from surgery but it's a neck thing so it counts.

hijacked frequencies said...

KUDOS KAT ON THE JANES ADDICTION REFERENCE !!!!!!

I'm partial to # 7 myself.

Have you considered a massuse? I prolly spelled that wrong.

Unknown said...

Pain lasts longer than the procedure...my face reconstruction was 15 YEARS ago and I still have places that pop up now and again.
As for the names...Lita, or perhaps Betty...

Belle said...

janELLE!