Anyone want to trade the last two days?

So anyway, I decided to re-arrange my bedroom for the first time in five years because my new larger bed will be delivered Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.
I mean, I moved everything, and many things I moved many times, but we all know how that is.
I guess it took four or five hours with all the rest breaks in between and due to my unfortunate spinal condition I ached liked a MoFo when I had finished.
I figured a nice hot shower would take care of some of those aches and pains so I jumped right in.
By the way, generic Head and Shoulders is a really nice shampoo. It makes your hair all soft and silky, and it smells good too.
While I was in the shower I heard a loud CLUNK, but I didn't pay much attention to it because the guy who lives next door is always making loud CLUNKS.
When I finished the shower I came out of the bathroom and there was Mother Boz in the kitchen on one knee holding on to the bar. I swear, I thought she had found religion at first, but no, she had slid, slid not fallen, and she was the loud CLUNK I heard while I was in the shower.
She asked me to help her up, which of course I did after much cursing under my breath because I get so frustrated when she falls.
I asked her if she was alright and she said yeah yeah yeah, and that was that.
Now here is where it gets interesting.
At about 12:30 am while I was reading the online Detroit News we have a power outage.
Ok, now I am sitting here in the dark in a newly re-arranged bedroom and I don't know where anything is, so I start stumbling around, knocking over, and tripping over anything that is in my path.
I remembered I had put a flashlight on the night stand so I groped around till I finally found it.
I did the whole candle thing and just sort of sat there waiting till I heard MB wake-up so I could warn her about no electricity.
I hear her stirring in her room so I go and warn her. We have a semi-intelligible conversation and she trudges off to the bathroom and I go back to my bedroom.
Five minutes later I hear another loud CLUNK and I run into the bathroom and there is MB sort of laying looking like a turtle that has been turned over on it's back.
I help her up, ask her if she is alright, and after she assures me that she is we go our separate ways.
The power comes back on after about two hours and I get up to set all the digital clocks and then I go back to bed.
I finally fall asleep, you know, it's really difficult to fall asleep when your bed is in a new position ...
At about 6:15 I wake up and I hear a tap tap tapping. I don't know what the fuck it is. I thought it might be someone at the door, but at six in the morning ... WTF.
The tapping keeps tapping and as my head clears I figure out it must be MB, so yeah, I hurry down to her room and there she is laying in the floor next to her bed tapping against the dresser with a pair of scissors.
She had tried to get up out of bed, but I guess she sort of slipped.
I helped her up again, asked if she was ok.
This time she sort of wasn't ok.
Her hip was giving her problems.
Yeah, old lady, hip, you think the worse, but it wasn't the worse, but it's bad enough.
She's bruised her hip and she isn't able to get up by herself and she is afraid to walk unless I help her, which I gladly do with a smile on my face ... every ... single ... time !!!
But anyway, it looks like I get to play evil hospital orderly like in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest for the next couple of days ...
And did I tell you how much my back hurts???

Thanks for listening if you actually did.
This was very cathartic.