It's like this

Rules of blogging at seven in the morning.

1. Avoid politics at all costs. Everyone already knows that politicians are evil or stupid or both. Seriously, there are no red states. There are no blue states. There are only purple states.
2. If you are attractive post half naked pictures of yourself. If you are unattractive post half naked pictures of someone who is attractive. If you aren't sure what you are email me a couple of half naked pictures and I'll give you my honest opinion.
3. I think I can only think of two rules, but I'm sure there must be a whole lot more.
4. Oh, I guess if you aren't funny don't try to be, but actually that's total bullshit, I mean it's your blog you can do what you want. Just don't expect for me to read it.
5. Did I mention the rule about posting pictures?
6. If you don't get any comments make your own using fake names. My favorite fake name is I.P. Dailey, but if we're going for honesty it would be I.P. Everytwentyminutesorso.
7. Speaking of honesty, don't fall in love with it.
8. Do as many What Am I quizzes as you want. The anal retentive crowd can't stand them, and nobody likes the anal retentive crowd.
9. Grow a goatee and mustache and color it white.
10. Stop at ten