Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I saw a cat got hit

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep, which is weird because last night I was asleep by twelve thirty. I think it may be because I am all wound up from doing so much stuff today.
I shoveled wet heavy a full eight inches deep of snow, which took me four tries to finish, or swedish, or norwegian, because of my advanced age I know not to overdo it, and I didn't, but it was heavy, but it felt good, you know, exercising, and I didn't strain my back at all, so maybe the surgery did some good, but I did sweat a lot, and I bet my arms are going to be sore tomorrow.
I also cleaned a bedroom which wasn't mine, and I did some laundry, and I folded some laundry, and I cleaned up the garage a little bit, because my niece is coming up to visit on Saturday, and yeah, she sleeps in the garage, but it's ok because part of the garage is like a summer room, but since it is winter it is pretty messy right now, and that is why I was cleaning it today, so my niece can sleep out there on Saturday when she comes, or if she comes, because if the weather is bad she won't come, and yeah, like just like about everyone else she thinks MB is adorable.
Phew.
Also, I was thinking back to when I was in high school and I had this strange attraction to girls who wore knee socks, but only dark blue knee socks and dark green knee socks, and yeah, I guess burgundy knee socks too, and there was one girl who wore them a lot, a girl that I had a crush on through most of high school, who I actually went out on a few dates with, ok, on a couple of dates with, and she saw the Beatles in concert in 1964, and the Rolling Stones in concert in 1965, and she actually met either Simon or Garkunkel at a party in 1966, then she married a guy in the retard navy right after high school in 1968, but I'm pretty sure she liked me better, at least in dreams she did, I just think she wanted to get married to get out of a bad family situation, because her parents were divorced, and her father was tyrannical, and her mother wanted to be her best friend, and her dog was retarded, and I've actually used retard or retarded twice in this post, and all of a sudden I've gotten very tired, so I guess this is it.

Monday, February 26, 2007

And the winner is ... Spliff the Wonder Dog!!!

It's midnight, and I'm tired, so I think I'll go to bed.
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow but I think I'll have to reschedule it because of the storm that has ripped through the heartland of our country.
It hasn't seemed so bad though.
Some snow, some wind, and a five second power outage earlier this evening.
Saturday I went out to stock up on provisions.
All I could think of to get were pickles and bread.
Then today before the storm started I went out shopping again, and bought lots of stuff.
I bought milk.
I bought tomato soup.
I bought crackers.
I bought frozen microwave breakfasts.
I bought hot dogs.
I bought hot dog buns.
I bought potato chips.
I bought ice cream.
I bought caffeine free diet Coke.
I think I bought some other things but I can't remember what they were.
Oh, I bought some medium size stretchable bowl covers from the dollar aisle, man, I love those things, and don't be fooled, the medium size is actually pretty big, and they are tinted blue.
Oh, I got my cell phone all set up, the pre-paid one, the kind where I don't have a ton of minutes, but it only costs about 8 dollars a month, and the minutes carry over, and it's a camera phone, except I can't download the pictures to my computer, so I contacted customer service by email, but I haven't heard back from them yet, and like I said I have limited minutes, so my brother in law calls me on the cell phone yesterday, and he wants to talk and talk and talk, and even if I had unlimited minutes my brother in law would be the last person in the world that I would want to use them on, the last person in the world except for maybe that guy who will be starring in the new Showtime series The Tudors which starts April 1st, and if you get Showtime you must be as tired as me at all the promos they have done for The Tudors, and just forget that I even mentioned The Tudors, but yeah, I finally cut my brother in law short by telling him that MB needed some help, and after he hung up I played all the dial tones over and over and over again before finally deciding to stay with the default dial tone, and so on and so forth.
So, I guess that was my weekend.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Gusting to 42 miles per hour

Ok, ok, ok, I haven't posted in awhile.
MB's first cataract surgery went super duper.
She is already driving me up the wall with comments such as:
Oh, look at the colors.
I can see the forest for the trees.
I didn't know your shirt was blue.

Yeah, right ma, give it a rest, will ya!
But yeah, everything is good.

And
I changed my telephone provider.
I'm with MCI now.
With a different plan.
200 long distance minutes a month, and all the other good stuff, and it's costing me half as much as I was paying with AT&T for unlimited long distance minutes, but hey, I don't make many long distance calls, so with the 40 bucks a month I am saving I've decided to get a cell phone, and I'll probably get a pre-paid one, through Alltel, which they say is the best for my area, I can get a phone for about 40 bucks, or a camera phone for about 70 bucks, and if I go with the one year thingie I can get 650 minutes, plus another 120 minutes if I activate the phone online, and seriously, that's a lot of minutes for me because, well because, I don't use the phone that
much, and the only thing I'm not decided on is whether to go with the camera phone or not, but I think I will, and I can't wait till they start offering the Maxwell Smart Shoe Phone, and I think that is it for now.
I'm still watching Oz and Carnivale on HBOZ, and did I mention that MB is driving me crazy being all perky, and enthusiastic and everything, and the zoloft is good except for the hot flashes at night, and I'm doing a salt water gargle which has helped my sinus, but ... the bathtub drain is running a little slow because of the cold weather, and it hasn't done that since that one year in the 90's when it was so cold that the water department asked me to keep at least one faucet running at all times so the pipes wouldn't freeze up, but they reimbursed me, and I only had to let the faucet run at a little more than a drip, and MB is actually looking forward to her second cataract surgery next Wednesday, and did I mention that I lost a filling while she was in surgery and I was snacking on something in the surgical waiting room, and I can't remember what I was snacking on, well, I can, but certain people will get upset if I mention what it was, so I won't mention it, and I guess that's it for now, oh, except that I made some pistachio pudding about an hour ago, and I'm positive that MB is going to be all
Ooooh, I didn't know pistachio pudding was soooooo green
And she is already trying to talk my brother in law into getting cataract surgery, even though as far as anybody knows he doesn't have cataracts.
Baby!!!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Teach your tech

I'm having hot flashes.
I think it might be the increased dosage of zoloft.
I think I might be Gordon Lightfoot pre-1969 version.
I'm going to watch television and groove to the flashes.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Mumble, mumble, mumble

Ok, I admit it. I haven't been feeling too good the last month or so.
Some of it is anxiety.
Some of it is sinus.
Some of it is just a general rundown feeling.
It's nothing all that serious, but yeah, I feel kind of crappy.
So crappy that even MB has noticed it, and she is concerned, which is nice, and she has started to ask me how I feel, which is also nice, but ...
It isn't nice when she bursts into my room at four in the morning and says:
MB: Are you feeling any better?
Me: It's four o'clock in the morning go to bed!!!
MB: What??? Are you feeling any better?
Me: It doesn't matter how I feel, it's four o'clock in the morning, go back to bed!!!
MB: Huh?
Me: Go back to bed!!! Look at the clock, what time does it say?
MB: Look at what?
Me: Ok, ok, I'm alright, now go back to bed!!!
MB: I was just wondering how you felt.
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, as fine as I can be at four o'clock in the morning!!!
(slight pause)
MB: I'm glad you hung those pictures in my room they look real nice.
Me: Mmmm
MB: I really like your rug. Did you buy it?
Me: Mmmmm, no I stole it!!!
MB: Ok, I'm going back to bad now, you sure you feel ok?
Me: Phewwwwwwww, yeah.
MB: Next time you go out get me a puzzle book, I like to work crossword puzzles.
Me: Can it wait till morning???
MB: Of course, it's four o'clock in the morning, I didn't expect you to go out now.
Me: ...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

A little something I bet you didn't know

My grandmother, my father's mother, was very fertile.
She had three sets of twins.
The oldest set were two boys with one dying in infancy.
The second set was a set of stillborn girls.
The third set was my father and a stillborn girl.
So if you add those four to the nine children that she had that lived you have thirteen kids, and I'm not sure, but I think she may have had one or two other stillborn babies, and do they still use the term stillborn?
I think I would have made a great twin.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Sex, drugs, and the custom car show

It was 1968, and me, and R.U.B. Ronnie Brown, and Wesley from across the street were driving to the custom car show at Cobo Hall in downtown Detroit.
I was driving.
I was the only one who had a car.
It was a 1964 Burgundy Buick Skylark with black leather bucket seats.
Wesley from across the street was riding shotgun, and R.U.B. Ronnie Brown was in the back seat, and I don't know why we called him R.U.B. Ronnie Brown, we just did.
So, we were driving down I-94, or maybe it was I-96, or it might have been I-75, who can remember it was almost 40 years ago ...
Wesley from across the street reached into his shirt pocket and asked if anyone wanted a smoke, and we said ...
We got our own smokes what we need is pussssssssssssss-y,
Which was pretty much our standard reply to anything, and just think how much different all our lives might have been if we were actually getting some, but that's another story, and I'm already tired of this story, so I'm not going on to another story, or ...
You see, that's what happens every time sex enters into anything, you, or should I say I, lose all train of thought, and this was going to be a great post about how what WFATS pulled out of his shirt pocket wasn't a cigarette, but a joint, and I was going to relate a tale of magic and stuff about getting high for the first time while going 70 miles an hour down the interstate, and getting lost, and not really caring about getting lost, and how magically, and there's that word magic again, and how we magically, and miraculously ended up in the parking garage at Cobo Hall in time to see the custom car show, and you know, I never really cared anything about hot rods and custom cars, but R.U.B. and WFATS did, and like I said I had the car, and they talked me into going, and I'm glad I went, and remember this was 1968 and drugs weren't really rampant, but Wesley from across the streets sister was a hippie, and she gave WFATS the joint, and all the time we drove around lost on the interstate I thought for sure in my paranoid delusional mind that Penny, that was WFATS hippie sister, just gave us the joint so she could eventually get me hooked on heroin, which, despite what Lou Reed might think, is not nice ...
But that post just went to hell when ahhhh sex reared it's ugly head.
I'm going to bed.
Goodnight.
Ok, I'm going to run spellcheck first, and then I'm going to bed, ok, I might have something to drink first, and then I'm going to bed, and I'll probably watch Oz and I'll most assuredly watch Carnivale because I am totally hooked on Carnivale, and not just because of Clea Duvall, who by the way, is probably the sexiest looking ugly woman in the world, and did I really just say that, and is it Duval or Duvall, and is she gay or is she straight, and is it ok to call lesbians gay ...
Oh, and don't forget Adrienne Barbeau who despite pushing 60, or maybe because she is pushing 60 is, or has become, one hot looking babe, at least from where I'm standing.
Ohhhhhhhhh, and don't forget the Siamese twin sisters!!!
Or the bearded lady?
Or Clea Duvall's or Duval's comatose mother.
And there's that sex thing again.
Goodnight.
For real this time.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Before he was a doughnut he was a hell of a hockey player

About a month and a half ago I entered a contest sponsored by Raymi the Minx called "Write A Post Like Raymi". There were prizes for the top three entries. The first prize was a copy of her book Marketable Depression. The second prize was a once opened CD by Justin Timberlake. The third prize was something to be decided by Raymi that she hadn't yet decided on.
Here is my entry.
I won second place, and yeah, I know I should have won first place, but picking a winner is pretty subjective, so I'm happy with second, happy except for the prize being a once opened Justin Timberlake CD, so I contacted Raymi and asked if I could have the third place prize instead of the second place prize and she said no problem and that she didn't think I'd want the once opened Justin Timberlake CD ...
Ok, I have a confession to make here. I already have the once opened Justin Timberlake CD, but I didn't pay for it, and I've never listened to it, I illegally downloaded it for a friend and I just haven't gotten around to deleting it from my hard drive yet, but I have to admit that he is kind of cute in a potential prison bitch kind of way.
So anyway, I received my third place prize of something to be decided on that Raymi had yet decided on today, and yeah, well yeah, here's a picture of my prize(s-s-s-s-s) and yeah, um yeah, this is just about perfect.
Thanks Raymi, I really love it.



Raymi the Minx button on my Beatles cap



An audio post describing my prize.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My last dozen or so comments on buzznet

boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:42 PM [view in context]
If I didn't have to walk or feed it I'd like another dog, oh yeah, and if I didn't have to take it to the vet's too.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:38 PM [view in context]
Outside the synagogue there's a flower ...
Now if i was Dan Fogelberg I'd have the rest of the song written in an hour or two, if I knew who Dan Fogelberg was.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:35 PM [view in context]
I need to watch me a good zombie flic.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:34 PM [view in context]
Whoa Nellie!!!
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:34 PM [view in context]
Most excellent ring
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:32 PM [view in context]
Same to ya toots.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:32 PM [view in context]
Tangerine Dream
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:33 PM [view in context]
Lame comment I know, but I've been sick.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:31 PM [view in context]
I want a chair like that, I refuse to say the word stool.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:28 PM [view in context]
I think that's my nephew's car.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:27 PM [view in context]
The black car to the right of the woodie is the same type of car I rode from the hospital in after I was born, or maybe it was before I was born, it was so long ago.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:23 PM [view in context]
I want the woman who fits those shoes.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:22 PM [view in context]
I feel so insignificent now.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:21 PM [view in context]
What the Valentineous dvl just said.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:20 PM [view in context]
If that is your house I like it. If it isn't your house I still like it.
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:19 PM [view in context]
We got about two inches here, but it is colder than (fill in the blank).
boz48730: 02/14/2007 4:06 PM [view in context]
La di dah, la di dah.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Sometimes

I was about to thank a lady for holding a door open for me today when she let it go and it almost hit me in the face.

I now have four different browswers.
I did have five, but I uninstalled Netscape.

But Ken, why do you have four browsers.
Maybe it's because I am anal retentive.

I am watching the movie You Me and Everyone We Know and it's the part where the little boy is in a chat room and he is talking about poop.

I am really bored.

And did I just call myself Ken a few sentences back?

Did I tell you I am really bored.

I just finished drinking half a glass of caffeine free Coke, and then I burped, not a loud obnoxious burp, just a normal run of the mill I just finished drinking a half a glass of caffeine free Coke a little too fast burp, and there, I just burped again.

So I guess this was just an update of my Claire Danes so called life.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

It's fab, it's gear, it's mod ... it's the Beatles in A Hard Days Journey Into Night

A Hard Days Night is on tv later on tonight.
The first time I saw it was back in 1964 in Mt. Clemens Michigan, at either the Jewel or the Macomb.
I saw it with my parents.
It wasn't my idea to go see it, but I was thirteen years old, so I went.
It was on a double bill.
Most theaters showed two features back then.
A new release, and an older, or a b movie.
I'm not real sure what the other movie was.
It might have been West Side Story, or it might have been one of the Frankie and Annette Beach Party movies.
A Hard Days Night was in black and white.
It was hard to understand because the British accents were very thick.
I think John was the hardest to understand.
I thought Ringo was a chump.
Paul was very peppy.
George was my favorite because he played guitar, and was the quiet one with a sly sense of humor, and even though I didn't play guitar I wanted to, and I was quiet with a sly sense of humor too.
During the intermission between the movies they played the song Because by the Dave Clark Five over the sound system.
That's about all I remember about it.
I think my dad kind of liked it.
I'm not too sure about my mom though.

Things go better with other things

I sort of half way watched a couple of movies tonight, but mostly I was just chillin' like Magellan, and eating pudding, and french fries, and drinking Diet Code Red Mountain Dew, and Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and I think I ran the dishes through the dishwasher, and I had to make some more pudding, because MB likes pudding, and I ate the last of the last of the last, and now there's another movie on starring Dennis Leary, and yeah, they still let Dennis Leary make movies, and if I had my way I wouldn't even let Dennis Leary watch movies.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

When life imitates cartoons

I swear to god I saw Cotton Hill at the barber shop today, he was short, and had white hair, and he was even wearing a USMC field jacket ...



And he was standing next to Jimmy Carter, and Hank Hill too.

That lady at the supermarket

I stood in line behind an annoying Asian lady at the supermarket this afternoon.
She had a fifty dollar bill in her hand.
She was short in stature.
She unloaded one item at a time and made sure she double checked each item.
She had past due coupons.
She wouldn't admit they were past due.
She questioned the cashier numerous times.
She bought a tiny watermelon.
She bought a lot of Stouffer's frozen items.
She wore a funny hat.
She hummed along with the muzak playing in the background.
She bought buy one get one free items, but she got the wrong size.
She turned around and smiled an I'm sorry I'm taking so long smile.
She asked me if I had seen The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
She wasn't happy that the cashier bagged her groceries in paper.
She grabbed a plastic bag and stuck her tiny melon in it.
She checked and re-checked her cash register receipt.
She walked away mumbling something.
She bought a mega million lottery ticket.
The end

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mental health update

I took a zantac, and a shower, and I surfed some porn, that seemed to help some. I bet a finger down the throat would help, but I don't want to start up with that.

Things that I hate

1. Making posts like the last one.
2. Freezing cold sub-zero weather, which is what we are having now.
3. When my nose hairs get too long.
4. Sweating for no reason at all.
5. Throwing up, I really really hate throwing up.
6. Japanese porn.
7. Popular movies.
8. Struggling to get out of bed.
9. All of the hosts on all of the shows on all of the cable news networks.
10. People who stretch out their 15 minutes of fame for an hour or two.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Saturday night is here again

Ok, I'm sick tonight, and I'm not kidding around this time.
My head hurts, my sinuses are stuffed up, my throat is raw, my stomach is upset, and the thing is, I don't know if I'm sick because I'm sick or because I'm just nervous.
I'm nervous because I finally realized that MB's well being depends on me, and only me, and that's a lot of responsibility, and I have avoided responsibility all my life, and I don't know if I am up to it, ok, I can do it, and I will do it, be responsible, and I think the real cause of my nervousness is because no matter what I do it won't be enough, but still ...
I'm going to go lay down now.
Be back later, I'm sure.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Scheduled outage at 11AM PST

It's Friday night, and it's cold, and I'm listening to the MC5, and I'm not going anywhere, because it's cold, and Perchville USA is tomorrow, but I'm not going, because it will be even colder, and here's a picture of a naked lady.



I like her shoes, they look sort of like a pair of shoes, that belonged to a pair of feet, that belonged to a pair of legs, that belonged to a woman I knew, but only up to a point, because, seriously, how well can you actually know someone, and the Human Being Lawnmower goes:
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop ...

More songs







Dirty Deeds and they're done for me

I'm too tired to make this post, and dammit, I don't want to sleep all day tomorrow like I did today.
I'll let you know tomorrow how I make out at not sleeping all day.
It's late.
I'm tired.
I'm going to bed.
I'll probably watch a movie.
I'll probably try to convince myself that I won't sleep all day, but you know, with the new electric blanket I just bought the other day it is just so easy to roll over again and again and go back to sleep.
Seriously though, I really do plan on getting up earlier tomorrow.
Honest.
I mean it this time.
For real.
I hear you laughing.
Stop it.
I mean it.
I really do.
Ok, time for the movie that I said I thought I might watch.
I'll let you know what happened tomorrow MORNING!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Some songs









If I lived somewhere else I'd be there by now

I'm thinking about starting a new blog and calling it the Wendall Shin and Jesus Blog.
What do you think?

What is wrong with this picture?



What is wrong with this life?
What is wrong with that person who stared at me at Burger King?
What is wrong?
What is wrong?
What is wrong, or better yet, what is right?