Sunday, February 26, 2006

Hey Boz, where ya been?

Ok, yesterday I had some kind of 24 hour head cold, actually it could be some kind of 48 hour head cold because I still have it, and I didn't leave the house.
I spent most of the day sleeping, watching a one dollar DVD with ten episodes of Dragnet, or screwing around on the internet.
Yes, I could have posted in here. I could have, but as you have probably noticed my posting standards for The Grand Ennui are extremely high, so I didn't, didn't post that is.
That however did not stop me from posting on two of my other blogs where my standards are much lower.
Much lower where much lower equals non-existent.
So, if you about to dial your local suicide prevention hotline because of your need for boz, STOP ...
And check out
The Real World ... Blogger Style
Jonnie and Boz's 99 Cent Blog
The comments on this post of The Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook.

Oh yeah, don't forget to check out what could be the next adventure on Dr Hunter Douglas ... Undercover Spam Police.

Nurse Ratched, didn't I just take my meds an hour ago?

Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Calling Dr. Hunter Douglas

This looks like a job for Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Under Cover Spam Police.

What do you think?
Should he take the assignment?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Not reality

I've got a head ache and the winds outside are gusting to 40 miles per hour.
Just give me the lethal injection now and I'll silently drift away.
Peep, peep, peep.

Friday, February 24, 2006

You You

I've been tagged for a MeMe by RebelLeadyBoy.

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Landscaper
2. Burger King
3. Clerk in a Record Store
4. Air Force

Four movies I can watch over and over:
I don't watch movies over and over again, but there are some movies that whenever they are on tv, and no matter what part of the movie I tune in on, I can sit and watch for ten or twenty minutes and enjoy.
1. To Kill A Mockingbird
2. A Christmas Story
3. Lone Star
4. Night of the Living Dead

Four places I’ve lived:
1. Roseville, Michigan
2. Keesler AFB, Biloxi, Mississippi
3. Iraklion Air Startion, Crete
4. Hakata Air Station, Kyushu Japan

Four TV shows I love:
There are no current tv shows that I watch regularly, but in the past I couldn't miss these shows.
1. St. Elsewhere
2. Tenko
3. Lou Grant
4. Hill Street Blues

Four highly regarded and recommended TV shows I haven’t seen (much of):
1. American Idol
2. ER
3. Scrubs
4. 24

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Tennessee
2. Florida
3. New Jersey
4. South Dakota

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza
2. Chocolate
3. Potato Wedges
4. HAM!!!!

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Real World ... Blogger Style
2. Stone/Star Strobe
3. Hijacked Frequencies
4. Two Thoughts Before the Epiphany

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Santa Cruz, California
2. Austin, Texas
3. Someplace in Europe
4. Tokyo, Japan

Four bloggers that I am tagging:
1. Francis Pottie
2. Bhagarna, the Foreign Man
3. Dr Hunter Douglas ... Male Psychiatrist
4. Dr Hunter Douglas ... Undercover Spam Police

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Beverly, behind the counter

There was this girl
This girl named Beverly
That suddenly appeared in my life out of nowhere when I was ten years old
It was fourth grade
And we were in the same circle
In the same circle but we never quite touched
And she was pretty
And she had dark brown hair
And brown eyes
And the fullest softest lips that made me want to rip open my shirt and show her the tattoo on my chest that read
Beverly, won't you please be mine
But of course I never did
And as ten became eleven and then twelve
Our circles split and spiraled in different directions
And I would occasionally see her in the hall
In school
With some guy hanging on her arm
With some guy hanging on her every word
And as we passed there would be that urge to reach up to my shirt ...
Because she still had the softest fullest lips
But of course I never did
Then, on an unseasonably warm day in late March of 1969
Just a few days before I left for the Air Force
I walked into a bakery?
A deli?
A market?
And there she was, Beverly, behind the counter
She looked tired
She looked pale
She looked bored
But she still had those soft full lips that now shimmered under pink lipstick
And I stammered
And I stuttered
And I placed my order
And I reached up to my shirt ...
And I pulled out my money
And I paid for my purchase
And I picked up my bags
And our circles sort of merged again for a brief moment
And I said, nice to see you again Bev
And she said, yeah, it is
And I walked out the door
And that was that
Unless you count the odd nights when I can't sleep
And I think of her soft full lips
And Beverly, behind the counter


Beverly, in living black and white.
I'm also in there somewhere too.

Tuesday morning at 4 am

I see a girl standing on the corner, her hair just right, her clothes too tight, her whites too white, an angel, a whore, the girl next door, the gorilla my dreams, the who's that knocking at my door, and I stop and blink, and I try to speak, to ask for the truth, to seek out her truth, she is gone like a flash, like a bump in the night, no essence, no aura, just the sweet smell of creosote as she is sucked through some cosmic hole in the ozone, and there I am, the me of fifty years ago, the me of forty years ago, the me of thirty years ago, the me of twenty years ago, the me of ten years ago, ten months ago, ten weeks ago, ten days ago, ten hours ago, ten minutes ago, ten seconds ago, the me that is the present that is now the past, and every me that will ever be me, and there I am, just left to scratch my head, to sit and wonder, to stand and deliver, my eyes wide open and my mouth agape, and man, isn't that some crazy kind of shit.
Spell check complete.
(No Errors Found)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

In honor of Presidents Day

Who would you vote for?
1. Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush
2. Zack Morris or A.C. Slater
3. Coke or Pepsi
4. Ice dancing or break dancing
5. Uncle Jesse Duke or Uncle Jesse Katsopolis
6. Todd De La Muca or Lisa Loopner
7. John Cusack or Joan Cusack
8. Jimmy Stewart or Gary Cooper
9. Radar O'Reilly or Max Klinger
10. Me or someone just like me

Friday, February 17, 2006

The powers that be

The power has been going off and on, due to high winds and ice, since seven o'clock last night.

So I went and picked up some more candles and lighters, and what is it with lighters that you can never find them when you need them.

The post that never was

I lost power for 4 hours tonight due to an ice storm. Do you realize just how boring it can get? Well, trust me, it can get real boring.
So I ended up writing a post almost in the dark
[Click for full size image]

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Give me an s, give me an e, give me a yadda yadda yadda

So anyway, I was in the store yesterday and there was a mother who kept yelling at her out of control daughter to settle down. The daughter's name was Serenity.
I wonder if the mother understood the irony of the situation?
Her brother Caleb was unavailable for comment.
Child psychologists everywhere are licking their chops in anticipation.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

An observation

People who use the computers in the library are very quirky, not in an endearingly Natalie Portman as she appeared in Garden State-ish way, but more in a Tourette's
(fuck, fuck, fuck, blow me, eat shit, whore, bastard, rim job, dingle berry, dingle berry, dingle berry)
Syndrome, reeking of urine-ish way.

But ... but ... but ...

So, what did you do today Boz?

Ehhh, I took MB to pick up her new eyeglasses.


Nah, not really, I asked the glass fitter lady if she could clean this mark off of my glasses but when she came back she said it wasn't a mark, and she said that it looked like the coating on the lenses was starting to come off, which sounds like bullshit with a small b, but I haven't had my eyes checked since David Spade was funny, and that was never except for that one time on Saturday Night Live, but no wait, that was the other guy on SNL that was never funny, but when I say that other guy on SNL who was never funny I guess they could all just about get in line and take a number.
But anyway, I haven't had my eyes checked in a long time, so I set up an appointment for Friday afternoon, and seriously, I could use some snazzy new specs, at two pair for the price of one at all participating Pearle Vision Centers.
But yeah.

Anything else?

Well ...

Well what?

I did go up to Kmart and bought four bags of Snickers that were left over from Halloween, I guess, and they were only a dollar a bag, and ...


Ok, Ok, ok, they had men's shirts that they were practically giving away ...

Boz, you've got a closet full or shirts, and you promised you wouldn't buy anymore!!!

I know, but they were practically giving them away ... GIVING THEM AWAY!!!



Dean, Sammy, Joey, call up Mia and tell her I won't be coming home tonight, and then call up Jill St. John and tell her I'll be right over.


The End

And as always the voice of my conscience was played by Frank Sinatra.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Audio Bozzio

I've rekindled my old Audio Boz blog from over two years ago. I deleted all the old crap because they were mostly broken links anyway.
There's nothing over there yet, but one day ... one day ... one day!!!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

New car blues

This new car owning stuff is harder than I thought.
There is no place to hang a litter bag and MB is all about needing a litter bag for her tissues, and her cough drop wrappers, and her empty shell casings. (MB loves her drive by shootings.)

And have you noticed that I hardly ever use parenthesis?

Oh yeah, and I am having a hard time seeing the speedometer through the steering wheel, and I am pretty anal about knowing the exact speed I am going at all times, and don't suggest that I use cruise control because cruise control is just another example of the man trying to take control of our lives.

But other than that the car is cool, and I opened the sun roof up just a crack yesterday to get some fresh air, and yeah, I know, it's like 20 degrees out, but it was just a crack, and it was only for a minute, and I doubt if that has anything to do with the sore throat I have today.

And I had to pay like twenty bucks for the smoking package which included a cigarette lighter and ashtray even though I don't smoke, but I guess that is better than my last car where I had to pay like twenty bucks for the non-smoking package which didn't include a cigarette lighter and an ashtray.

But yeah, ok, I need a cough drop, and I probably should get dressed, and you know, go out and do something.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Thursday night and the movies

I rented 4 two for a dollar for five night DVDs today.
School of Rock
The Passion of the Christ
Close Your Eyes
Which one do you think I will like the most?
Or ...
If you've seen any of them did you like them.
Or ...
Tell me your hopes, your dreams, your fears.
Or ...
If you were a character from either the movie of the TV series M*A*S*H which one would it be?
Or ...
Have you ever fallen backwards out of your chair while on the computer?
Or ...
Do you think I should name my BRAND NEW CAR, and if you think I should what should I name it?
Or ...
How do you get rid of a haddock headache?
Or ...
Or ...
Or ...
Or ...
The Red Wings or the Predators?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The New Blue Car

It suits me.

Come on down!

Ok, so I bought a new car yesterday.
A 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt LT Sedan, and don't you just love the name Cobalt, it sounds so virile.
Anyway, it's dark blue with light grey interior, and it has a sun roof, imagine that!
I'll be picking it up from the dealer in an hour and a half.
I wish I had a funny story to go with this, but I don't, except that the salesman looked like eccentric thirty forty something actor Crispin Glover if Cripsin Glover had a buzz cut.

Eccentric thirty forty something actor Crispin Glover sans buzz cut.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Haircut in East Tawian

So I went and got a haircut today at my fourth choice barber shop, the barbershop in East Tawian, which is my fourth choice because the barber, who we will call Jim because thats his name, dyes his hair and sometimes lets his hand linger on my shoulder just a little bit too long, if you get my drift.
I had actually planned on driving up to Oscoda to one of my top three choice barbers, but the weather was crappy and when I drove by the barber shop in East Tawian I could tell that there was no one in the chair. So I came to a screeching halt, jumped out of the car, and started across the street when I saw a big old Cadillac pull in right in front of the shop. So I hitched up my pants and put it in high gear, and luckily for me it was an old guy and I beat him to the door by a step and a half.
When we got inside he said we should flip a coin on who should go first, but I cried "BULLSHIT" I was here first, but it turned out he was joking so I retracted my cry of "BULLSHIT" and took my rightful place in the chair, and damn if Jim the Barber, who actually looks a little bit like Floyd the Barber, except he wears cowboy boots and is alive, well, Jim the Barber let his hand linger just a little too long when he put the whatever the hell they call that thing that they put on over the front so you don't get hair all over ....
Arghhhhhhhhh, I hate when I can't remember things, and it's getting more and more frequent that ummmm, yeah, that too.
So anyway, I'm getting my haircut, trim the eyebrows, and the beard while you're at it Floy ... Jim.
Yeah, I'm getting my haircut, and the old guy started talking, which is cool with me because that meant I didn't have to actually talk, which is really a drag, I mean talking isn't a drag, but making idle chatter while in the barber shop is a major drag ...
Hey, about that super bowl ...
Somebody offered me a ticket ...
You couldn't get me down to Detroit if they paid me ...
I had the best seat in the house right in front of my big screen
Fucking yadda
Yadda ...

Anyway while the old guy was talking about the super bowl and how the goddamn blacks have ruined the city, except he didn't say blacks, he casually mentioned, as casually as you can mention when you are pretty much stone cold deaf and you scream at the top of your lungs because you think everybody else is pretty much stone cold deaf too ...
He casually mentioned that he had been a cop down in Detroit back in the day, and then he pulled the biggest gun I had ever seen out of a shoulder holster, walked up to me in the chair, stuck the gun in my ear, and said:
If you ever pull a stunt like that again I'm going to splatter your brains all over the wall .. pardner.
Or did he???

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The generation gap

Here is a post I made on my Emo Blog yesterday, followed by comments.
I am dhd_me and anonymous aka FP
Rebel Leady Boy is Buddy_nob
I don't know who sky_line or Frost are, but Frost is such a hater.

Post my toast
Date: Feb 4th, 2006 10:10:26 pm - Edit
Mood: metallic

My dad said if I get any more facial piercings he's going to make me sleep in the garage.
Dad, why are you such a hater?
Comments: (6)


sky_line_ - February 04th, 2006 - Delete
facial piercings are awesome. i once saw this guy on the bus and you could hardly see any of the skin on his face. was totally hot.

buddy_nob - February 04th, 2006 - Delete
you should pierce your face with his socket set if he makes you sleep in the garage

frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
If my child did that, I would rip them out of their face.


anonymous - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
As a concerned parent, who just happened to stumble on this blog while checking out my son's computer for pornography, I find Frost's statement ludicrous. Kids need to rebel. The way they dress, the way they talk, the music they listen to, it's just their way of stretching their wings. So what if they make a few holes in their face, they'll heal.
And how about you Frost, with your leg warmers and your MTV when they actually played music, how would you have felt if your parents had ripped out your MTV?
Frost, you just need to chill.


frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Who the hell said I watched MTV? I hardly ever watched TV. I was too busy playing with my friends. Honestly, my kids will respect what I say. I will let them know I will not tolerate it. If they disobey that, than yes I would take disciplined action. They need to learn to respect their parents. Not to disobey them and abuse them. Once kids learn that parents cannot really do anything to them, it is all down hill from there.


dhd_me - February 05th, 2006 - Delete - Edit
Are you my dad's new girl friend?
Did he put you up to this?


frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
I am the creator of this site. =)


dhd_me - February 05th, 2006 - Delete - Edit
Yeah, but that still doesn't make you the boss of me.


frost - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Whoever fuckin said I was. I simply stated my point of view. Damn, where in there did I fucking tell you what to do?

As for hte creator of the site. I as responding that I was not your dad's fucking new girlfriend. Damn kids.


misty_rain - February 05th, 2006 - Delete

david - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
I am too a developer of Aeonity. But, who cares about that...that doesnt seem to be the issue here. Everyone needs to relax and go watch tv or something.

anonymous - February 05th, 2006 - Delete
Or masterbate!

Doctor Hunter Douglas ... Male Emoist

I added a link to my Emo Blog.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Video killed the radial tire

Me testing the 6 in 1 remote control I bought for a dollar at the Dollar Tree in Alpena Michigan.

A 5 mb clip.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

It's just like deja vu but different

It's funny how some songs just trigger a memory.
I was driving down US-23 this afternoon when the song Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel came on the radio, and it was like I jumped into Mr Peabody's Way Back Machine and was transported back to February 1968 when I was a senior in high school, and I had taken my dad to work in the morning, before school, so I could have the car, a 1965 white with red leather interior and snazzy hub caps, Ford Custom 500, for the day.
Anyway, I was driving south down Gratiot Avenue between Twelve Mile Road and Eleven Mile Road in Roseville heading for the Plum Pit in East Detroit, which is now called East Pointe, when the song Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel came on CKLW, which was the highest rated local Top 40 station out of Windsor, Ontario, Canada, just across the Detroit River from Detroit, and it boasted 50,000 watts of power, and it was pretty boss, as us kids with our slang liked to say, but there was a thing called Underground FM Radio just over the horizon that would practically revolutionize radio programming, and even now I weep for you mighty CKLW and the top 40 format of my youth that you epitomized ...
Ummmm, so I was headed towards the Plum Pit, which was the local head shop that boasted a purple exterior emblazoned with a slightly psychedelic purple plum.
I never bought anything from the Plum Pit mostly because I never had any money, but it was fun just to hang around trying to look hip while I soaked up the suburban pseudo hippie life style vibe.
They sold all sorts of heavy stuff like bell bottom trousers, and lava lamps, and black lights, and psychedelic posters, and love beads, (love beads ... man now that is a flashback) and all that other groovy hippie stuff that all the groovy hippies couldn't do without back in February of 1968.
Ok, yeah, I just remembered I did buy a couple of things from the Plum Pit,
I bought a button, oh man, I loved buttons, I bought a button that read ...
America: Sex, Drugs, Murder, Madness, And The Best Ice Cream In The Whole God Damn World
It must have been a pretty big button, don't you think.
And ...
I also bought a bumper sticker that read ...
Jesus Saves, But Howe Scores On The Rebound
Ok, I really didn't buy that bumper sticker mostly because I just made it up, well I made part of it up, the Howe scoring on the rebound part, yeah, that Howe, Gordie Howe, but if they would have had that bumper sticker I would have bought it in a heartbeat, even though sports weren't cool if you were trying to lead the pseudo hippie life style and on and on and on and on ...

So, yeah, isn't it funny how certain songs trigger certain memories which inspire rambling blog posts almost forty years later.

I just did a Google.
After 40 years The Plum Pit is still in business!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


I'm thinking about buying a car in the next couple of weeks. I'd really like to wait until spring, but I've got a Certificate of Deposit maturing next week and I'd have to take some money out of that to help pay for the car. Of course I could take the money out of the CD and still wait for spring, but what fun is that, and besides maybe they've got some good buyer incentive programs going now, you know it being winter and all, and yeah, it would have to be a GM product because I get the employee discount through my brother-in-law, which means he is good for something, and it would have to be of the smaller variety car, because cars aren't cheap, and my money is limited, and do they still make the Cavalier, which is what I am driving now, and yeah, I could probably hold off, but the warranty has run out and you know what happens once the warranty runs out, yeah, the car starts falling apart, well, not really falling apart, but in need of repairs, and like so far, I've had to get the front struts replaced, and are you like me in thinking there is no such thing as a strut and the service department just made that up because they saw me coming a mile away, I've also had to get a new battery, and the built in CD player doesn't work, but I can't see getting that repaired, and then there are tires, holy shit, I hadn't even thought about tire wear until I started writing this post, and insurance will go up, it will, won't it, and what else, what else, what else, the price of gas, damn-nnnnnn, so I've got to get 30 plus miles per gallon, and at least this isn't Europe, or Asia, or one of those other places where they sell gas by the liter and you still have to have gay sex with the gas station attendant to afford a fill-up, and ... GAY SEX!!!
Anyway, yeah, I think I'll start shopping around for a new car.



Don't try to lay no boogie woogie on the king of rock and roll

I feel like a spinning top that is just about to fall over.
I feel like Thelma and Louise as they approach the cliff.
I feel like the last haiku ever written.
I feel like a computer just before the please turn off your monitor *pop*.
I feel like the phone call you dread.
I feel like I've been slapped senseless by a copy of Moby Dick.
I feel like the lifeless corpse of Buddy Holly lying mangled in a corn field somewhere in Iowa.
Fuck it, I'm going grocery shopping and maybe if I find an inviting enough cliff out there, who knows.

Nick ... nick ... nick ...

Sitting here, not feeling too joyous, listening to Long John Baldry sing Don't Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll.
Pronounced Boo-gee Woo-gee.
But I mean fuck, you noticed I said I wasn't feeling too joyous, and I'm not.
And like I said, I'm sitting here, pretending to cry in my pretend beer.
I mean shit, it's February already ...
Ahhh, don't mind me, I'm just wallowing.
I guess that's it.
But still ...